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Sex, mattresses and wheelchairs - Candi

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Release Date: 11/12/2020

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

Leah shares a coaching session with client Caitlin to give us an in-depth experience of what coaching looks and feels like. They focus on Caitlin’s newly-discovered attraction to women.

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Dr. Evelin Dacker returns to answer a listener’s question about common and chronic UTI’s that occur after sex. She breaks down the how and why, and addresses prevention and treatment.

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“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

Hey friends, You’ll notice this isn’t the regular episode you were expecting!  The regular episode was loaded into the feed, and some of you may have already downloaded and listened to it. However, I made an error in the production of this episode so, in fairness to our guest, I’ve pulled the episode to fix it. Here’s what happened – Our guest, Alexa, is Deaf and we did the interview through an interpreter.  It was my first time ever doing an interview through an interpreter, so it took me a little time to relax into it. What didn’t occur to me was to send the transcript...

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Leah gets real about how her intimate life has weathered the pandemic, and how confronting her partner’s depression spiral turned out to be a better strategy—for both of them—than enduring it.

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Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women’s sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.

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STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex.

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What kind of touch do you enjoy? Have you thought about the ways, and places? Touch is a many-splendored thing.

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Overview: Candi lives with Muscular Dystrophy. She shares how it progressed and how it changed her physical capabilities over her lifetime, and what it’s like to date and to have sex with a visible disability. She also opens up about loving rough sex and BDSM, despite an appearance—and often others’ assumption—of fragility.

 

Public Service Announcement: Never judge a book by its wheels.

 

Bookmark moments:

  • 4:30 - Candi shares her first memory of sexual desire, a seemingly spontaneous discovery of masturbation in 9th She grew up in a conservative Christian family and sex was not discussed.
  • 7:46 - She talks about being flat-chested in high school, and being such a late bloomer that her mom never gave her the period talk and she only knew what was happening because of Sex Ed.
  • 14:56 - Candi stays a virgin until she’s 22, influenced both by purity culture and fear of the unknown.
  • 16:50 - She meets a cute boy with a leg brace in a boring class and they bond. She boldly asks him out.
  • 19:53 - Her first sexual experience happens and leaves her feeling both curiosity and disappointment.
  • 21:44 - Candi explains her Muscular Dystrophy.
  • 26:46 - She reflects back to her first sexual experience through the lens of her disability and what the experience was like with her body.
  • 29:43 - She goes into her next sexual experience in a way would *never* repeat.
  • 35:54 - She opens up about the great sex she had, and the positions that managed it, with the random work guy she wasn’t attracted to.
  • 39:00 - Liking aggressive sex is completely normal; also, be careful with choking.
  • 40:04 - Candi meets a guy on a dating app, and after an interesting first meeting, he introduces her to BDSM and blows her mind.
  • 50:04 - She opens up about how hard it is to watch able people enjoy romantic and life milestones that seem to pass her by despite her competence and energy.

 

The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • Candi talked me through her Muscular Dystrophy progression from the point of view of the different equipment she used over time, eventually needing a full-power wheelchair beginning in 2017
  • The extra 25 minutes we didn’t have time for in the regular episode - Candi talks about the BDSM scene that went wrong, her journey of inner healing and growth, and the types of men that she’s attracted to.

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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music – Nazar Rybak