Never go to bed angry & other terrible advice
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Some people swear by Dear Abby, others swear at Dear Abby. Today we look at some of Dear Abby's terrible advice. PLUS: Stay until the end to hear an important announcement about the podcast going on hiatus so Leah can take a well-deserved rest. Become a client: Support Leah's work: Full episode show notes:
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Road Trips and Sex Without Shame
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this Pop Culture Pillow Talk, I talk with pop culture critic Kristen Meinzer about two great movies: Joy Ride Plan B You can find Kristen at: Become a client: Support the show: Full show notes:
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Bonus quickie
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Plan B - Joy Ride - Become a client: Apply for a free coaching session: Support the show:
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Find the red flags! - Coaching Sophilia
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching episode, Sophilia asks: why does she keep ending up in relationships where things don’t feel right, and the entire weight of making it better falls on her? Leah works with Sophilia to: understand the red flags for this type of relationship, the communication skills that will help screen them out, rethink her own experience of being turned on. Sophilia is a 39-year-old, cisgender woman. She describes herself as queer, single, and multi-racial with a white mother and Black father. In the past she’s been in monogamous relationships, but currently prefers the idea of being...
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When the man teaching consent is the one violating you
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Last year I found myself in the middle of a shitstorm for daring to expose a community leader's abusive behavior. Today I tell the whole story. The backlash was immediate and intense, with DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) tactics used to paint me as the problem. Suddenly, I was not just standing as a representative of this man’s abuse, but also receiving harassment and ostracization from those I once considered my community. Sharing this story isn't just about telling you what’s going on; it's about shining a light on the dark corners of abuse and systemic failure....
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Pop Culture Pillow Talk: Starstruck on HBO
Good Girls Talk About Sex
What happens when your brain is so busy it can't slow down to enjoy having sexy time with the cute guy who's totally into you? In today's episode, we break down the first two episodes of the HBO show Starstruck with teen sex and relationship educator Julia Sheldon (who also happens to be Leah's dear friend.) We focus on lead character Jessie and how overthinking gets in the way of being present. Upcoming Beyond Permission class schedule: Thursday, Feb. 22 - Embracing your inner MILF with Danielle Tuesday, Feb. 27 - Dating at midlife with Leah Tuesday, March 5 - Sex toys show & tell...
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Having the best sex of my life at 63 - Debbie
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching/storytelling episode, Debbie talks about having the best sex of her life at age 63. Her question: Is that usual? While Debbie has always been multi-orgasmic, now she's having dozens of orgasms in a single sex session. And the connection with her new husband is a big part of the reason. Debbie is a 63 year old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married. She describes her body as slender and athletic. And don't forget: the BEYOND PERMISSION workshop starts next week! Use coupon code "beyond20" to join us! BEYOND PERMISSION workshop...
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Why don't you want to have sex with me?
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Togetherness is an HBO show that explores the challenges of maintaining a healthy and active sex life in a long-term relationship with small children. In today's episode, Danielle Silverstein from the popular Marriage and Martinis podcast joins Leah to discuss the first two episodes of the show. They dive into the complexities of sexual fulfillment, gender roles, expectations and resentments. Join us for a deep, thought-provoking, and insightful conversation about challenges of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. BEYOND PERMISSION workshop (use code "beyond20" for $20 off...
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Navigating the sex talk demons
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Leah joins Danielle of Marriage & Martinis to talk about why Danielle's conversation with her husband about intimacy and pleasure was explosive and chaotic. Leah breaks down what we need to remember during these very tough conversations: we’ve been conditioned differently from the time we’re very young, and are often simply adhering to the roles we’ve been instructed to fulfill. They talk about why we can’t always trust our bodies’ physical responses during intimacy, games that can be played in lieu of telling our partner, “we’re not satisfied” as means to get a...
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I wish they would SLOW DOWN - Coaching Maria
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching episode, Maria asks the age old question: why is it so hard to ask for what I want?! She's convinced that her problem is in poor communication skills, but it doesn't take long to discover that the issue lies in a complete different area. Leah works with Maria to: understand how gender dynamics are creating friction in the "what do you want?" conversation, rethink how her definition of "sex" makes asking so difficult, practice the way she'd like to initiate a conversation about sex with potential partners. Maria is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as...
info_outlineDebbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women’s sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.
Debbie is a 52-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as average.
Bookmark moments:
3:40 - Debbie’s first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 16 with her first boyfriend, who had learned a fabulous trick with ice.
9:13 - She shares about growing up in church, conservative but with a touch-generous loving youth group.
11:18 - Debbie then opens up about a deeply traumatic experience: she was molested by her gymnastics coach. She talks about him being charged and acquitted, and about subsequently being groomed in his tutelage.
20:44 - Getting her parents to admit what happened was difficult. The lack of public condemnation was even more harmful.
25:52 - Debbie discusses two other painful sexual traumas.
35:17 - She speaks to the fact that despite the trauma, she is not broken, and she wants to assure other victims that a healthy sex life with pleasure is still possible.
42:20 - After they separate, Debbie’s husband buys a self-help workbook and actually does the work. Things become peaceful, and then they turn around in a big way.
47:16 - Debbie still deals with chronic tendonitis in her hips, which impacts sex, and she talks about being post-menopausal.
The Lowdown (50:32)
What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had?
What’s your favorite sex toy?
Have you ever felt a sexual urge that confused you?
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
Debbie tells a story about the gorgeous Australian man she met while traveling on a train around Europe. And also – why do men feel entitled to be dating more than one woman, but get upset when a woman is dating more than one man? We also have an extended conversation about the way she talks to her four sons about sex, and that interaction has been colored by her own abuse history. PLUS, the extended Lowdown Q&A!
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak