Road Trips and Sex Without Shame
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this Pop Culture Pillow Talk, I talk with pop culture critic Kristen Meinzer about two great movies: Joy Ride Plan B You can find Kristen at: Become a client: Support the show: Full show notes:
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Bonus quickie
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Plan B - Joy Ride - Become a client: Apply for a free coaching session: Support the show:
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Find the red flags! - Coaching Sophilia
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching episode, Sophilia asks: why does she keep ending up in relationships where things don’t feel right, and the entire weight of making it better falls on her? Leah works with Sophilia to: understand the red flags for this type of relationship, the communication skills that will help screen them out, rethink her own experience of being turned on. Sophilia is a 39-year-old, cisgender woman. She describes herself as queer, single, and multi-racial with a white mother and Black father. In the past she’s been in monogamous relationships, but currently prefers the idea of being...
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When the man teaching consent is the one violating you
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Last year I found myself in the middle of a shitstorm for daring to expose a community leader's abusive behavior. Today I tell the whole story. The backlash was immediate and intense, with DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) tactics used to paint me as the problem. Suddenly, I was not just standing as a representative of this man’s abuse, but also receiving harassment and ostracization from those I once considered my community. Sharing this story isn't just about telling you what’s going on; it's about shining a light on the dark corners of abuse and systemic failure....
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Pop Culture Pillow Talk: Starstruck on HBO
Good Girls Talk About Sex
What happens when your brain is so busy it can't slow down to enjoy having sexy time with the cute guy who's totally into you? In today's episode, we break down the first two episodes of the HBO show Starstruck with teen sex and relationship educator Julia Sheldon (who also happens to be Leah's dear friend.) We focus on lead character Jessie and how overthinking gets in the way of being present. Upcoming Beyond Permission class schedule: Thursday, Feb. 22 - Embracing your inner MILF with Danielle Tuesday, Feb. 27 - Dating at midlife with Leah Tuesday, March 5 - Sex toys show & tell...
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Having the best sex of my life at 63 - Debbie
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching/storytelling episode, Debbie talks about having the best sex of her life at age 63. Her question: Is that usual? While Debbie has always been multi-orgasmic, now she's having dozens of orgasms in a single sex session. And the connection with her new husband is a big part of the reason. Debbie is a 63 year old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married. She describes her body as slender and athletic. And don't forget: the BEYOND PERMISSION workshop starts next week! Use coupon code "beyond20" to join us! BEYOND PERMISSION workshop...
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Why don't you want to have sex with me?
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Togetherness is an HBO show that explores the challenges of maintaining a healthy and active sex life in a long-term relationship with small children. In today's episode, Danielle Silverstein from the popular Marriage and Martinis podcast joins Leah to discuss the first two episodes of the show. They dive into the complexities of sexual fulfillment, gender roles, expectations and resentments. Join us for a deep, thought-provoking, and insightful conversation about challenges of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. BEYOND PERMISSION workshop (use code "beyond20" for $20 off...
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Navigating the sex talk demons
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Leah joins Danielle of Marriage & Martinis to talk about why Danielle's conversation with her husband about intimacy and pleasure was explosive and chaotic. Leah breaks down what we need to remember during these very tough conversations: we’ve been conditioned differently from the time we’re very young, and are often simply adhering to the roles we’ve been instructed to fulfill. They talk about why we can’t always trust our bodies’ physical responses during intimacy, games that can be played in lieu of telling our partner, “we’re not satisfied” as means to get a...
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I wish they would SLOW DOWN - Coaching Maria
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching episode, Maria asks the age old question: why is it so hard to ask for what I want?! She's convinced that her problem is in poor communication skills, but it doesn't take long to discover that the issue lies in a complete different area. Leah works with Maria to: understand how gender dynamics are creating friction in the "what do you want?" conversation, rethink how her definition of "sex" makes asking so difficult, practice the way she'd like to initiate a conversation about sex with potential partners. Maria is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as...
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Leah faces an identity crisis
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Leah delves into a deeply personal topic: how trauma and mental health have impacted her ability to show up authentically. She talks about the impact her demanding, charismatic father had on her psyche and sense of safety. In admitting her fear of being viewed as not good enough or too much like their father, Leah discusses the creation of a performative persona and the desire to shift to a more authentic voice. Who Is Your Sex & Relationship Alter Ego? Work with Leah: Apply for a free coaching session: Support the show: Full show notes:
info_outlineStephanie shares how childhood shame about feeling good in her body led to an eating disorder. She talks about how the eating disorder affected her ability to relate with sexual partners, including her now-husband. Healing the eating disorder has allowed her to begin relating in a new way with her body and her husband.
Bookmark moments:
2:37 - Stephanie shares her first memory of sexual play at age 5 or 6, accidentally discovering that rubbing her genitals felt good. The adults around her shamed her, leading her to believe masturbation was a terrible secret.
8:20 - Shame compounds to feeling that her vagina is broken.
11:45 - Stephanie describes a “good girl” upbringing, and being behind her peers in sexual experimentation.
14:55 - An eating disorder manifests in her life.
19:57 - What trauma, even/especially when we don’t label it as such, can look like.
24:31 - Stephanie hits a rock bottom with her eating disorder in college, and rebounds into a new willingness to try sex finally.
28:53 - She meets her husband, who makes her feel safe enough to begin to be present in her body during sex. She experiences her first real pleasure.
35:55 - Stephanie elaborates the myriad ways her eating disorder impacts their sexual relationship.
44:19 - PJ Parties for Grownups!
47:06 - While the sex is great in her marriage, Stephanie questions the kissing, and she and Leah go on a deep-dive about embodiment.
The Lowdown (54:08)
Have you ever felt a sexual urge that confused you?
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
This week at Patreon we have an extra THIRTY MINUTES of conversation with Stephanie!
She talks about how food stood in as a replacement for physical touch earlier in her life, and how having kids has changed her relationship with her body and her sexuality. And also how having kids pushed her to address her eating disorder in a new way. And, of course, there’s the extended Lowdown Q&A.
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak