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Patreon Treats - Weird Choices Cutlery [feat. Annie Craton] & Soft Choices X-Men and TTRPGs [feat. Dan Mulkerin]

Release Date: 04/16/2024

Hard Choices

Double-check your Item Level and apply your favorite glamours, because this month we're logging into the weird, wild, and frequently patched world of Final Fantasy XIV! Dan, Kit, and Meganbob group up with Jef from to take a spin on the BOOTY Roulette. Which character will prove to be the Zenith, which the Nadir, and how many are just straight up unpronounceable? What ancient Allagan sex tricks does Urianger have up his sleeve? Does Zenos even know what sex is? Is Nidhogg too toxic of a dragon for even Meganbob's boner to handle? Use the /listen emote to find out! Patreon: Instagram: ...

Hard Choices 45 - Homestar Runner [feat. Patrick Rothfuss, James D'Amato, Dillin Apelyan, & Annie Craton]

Hard Choices

Everybody to the limit! Well, maybe past the limit, because yes, we're ranking the fuckability of the Homestar Runner universe. Does it matter to you if the Cheat lives in a grill? Do you care if Homestar Runner is wearing pants? Just what can Strong Bad do while wearing boxing gloves? Join , , , , and as they explore what makes fucking Senor Cardgage a 'probalo', whether getting possibly eaten by the King of Town is a dealbreaker, and to what extent it matters if the Poopsmith can shower. Along the way, you'll get to hear every possible iteration of how Coach Z might talk in...

Announcement! Bad Choices - Shrek Livestream and Live Show at Tucson Comic Con

Hard Choices

Join James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob for the Bad Choices - Shrek livestream on August 9th at 5pm Pacific! Join Dan, Claire, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob on Friday, August 29th at 5:20pm in room 106 at Tucson Comic Con for an episode about Comic Book Villains! Instagram: Twitter: Bluesky: MeganBob's OnlyFans: Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ

Hard Choices 44 - Comic Book Weirdos

Hard Choices

Look, comic book superheroes have been around for a long time. Some of them get their own billion-dollar film franchises, toylines, video games, Halloween costumes, and breakfast cereals. But then there are the other guys. The ones the MCU won't touch. The ones that make Jack Kirby himself tilt his head in confusion. The weirdos that pop culture is content to forget. But we at Hard Choices don't forget. Join Meganbob, Kris, and Jef and Jon from the podcast as they go on a sexual escapade through the dustiest of back issue bins. From the Golden Age to the Modern Age, no spandex-clad hero is...

Medians - Season Two

Hard Choices

This show is about so much more than getting a blowjob from a Muppet or finally knowing what Kraven the Hunter smells like. This show is about data. Only by carefully ranking fictional universes, represented by their median fuckable character, against one another can we arrive at a considered understanding of how these fandoms relate. Join Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, and MeganBob for a voyage into the dead center of 21 lists. Along the way we ask ourselves, is Silver Sable from Spider -Man more fuckable than Guile from Street Fighter? Is Dragon from Shrek a better lay than King...

Hard Choices - Mirror Universe

Hard Choices

According to sensors, a freak ion storm has transported an alternate universe Hard Choices episode into this feed! But this is not Hard Choices as we know it. Instead, join Admiral James D'Amato, Captain Kris Newton, Agony Booth Test Subject Dan Mulkerin, and Madame Sharon Schneiderman as they take a harsh, sweaty look at the characters of Star Trek's Mirror Universe. WARNING: As befits an evil podcast, this episode contains sweeping spoilers for all of Star Trek's mirror universe episodes, and especially for Season 1 of Star Trek: Discovery. Hard Choices on Patreon: Instagram:...

Hard Choices 42 - Lost

Hard Choices

Something was in the air in 2004 and we're not entirely sure what it was. Whatever it was, ABC's Lost was chockful of it and boy howdy was the landscape of American television ever weirder because of it. Join Kam Servo of and newcomers Jody Troutman of and Claire J. Vannette of , along with absolute Lost newbie, MeganBob, as they return to The Island. Along the way, we flash forward, backward, sideways, and probably diagonally too. We'll meet smoke monsters, polar bears, and a bunch of hot people on a vacation that's considerably worse than any you've ever taken. Stir up...

Bad Choices 4 - Nick at Nite Couples [Public Edition]

Hard Choices

It's time to get in the wayback machine and revisit the characters that defined the mid-century American television landscape: Nick at Nite Couples. Bad Choices was exactly the right place to break out the fancy cocktail glasses, get fabulously dressed, and say things that would make shock our parents. Join Kris Newton, James D'Amato, Marissa, and MeganBob in (drunkenly) ranking the fuckability of fictional characters that we grew up with, from Happy Days, to Bewitched, to I Love Lucy, to The Jeffersons, and beyond. MeganBob wants to look like a toaster strudel in the name of love,...

Hard Choices 41 - Dragon Ball

Hard Choices

This enormous episode is guaranteed to make you go super saiyan! Now, will it be with shock? Outrage? Sheer overwhelming horniness? You'll have to listen to find out! We cover the sexual prowess of characters from the length, breadth, and width of Dragon Ball, in search of the median, zenith, and nadir of bedroom performance. The list of characters was so vast and series spanning, we broke our previous power levels and went to 23! Join four intrepid kamehamehos, Annie Craton, James D'Amato, Chris Sims, and MeganBob, as they absolutely smash their way through everyone Akira Toriyama...

Hard Choices Bonus - Bad Choices Drinkisode

Hard Choices

Join us for the Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples livestream on Saturday, November 23rd at 5pm Pacific! Kris Newton and I go over our cocktail options for a very mid-century American vibe, and give some recommendations to get you ready for a night of debauchery and fun! Any patrons of Hard Choices can join in this delicious night of excess! Register Not a patron of Hard Choices yet? Join for as little as $1.69!

More Episodes

Bad Choices is coming for you on Saturday, April 20th at 5PM PT and it's coming hard! As a result of all the Bad Choices hullabaloo, among other things, MeganBob couldn't pull together an episode for April in time, but this is two gems from the Patreon feed featuring Bad Choices co-hosts Annie Craton and Dan Mulkerin.

Click HERE to register for Bad Choices so you don't miss one second of the action! Believe me, you'll be glad you did. Can you afford to miss James D'Amato doing a Zorak impression after a few drinks? Can you afford to miss any of us moaning about Jabberjaw or how much we want Yogi Bear to rifle through our pic-a-nic baskets? I feel like the answer is a resounding no.

Patrons at the $4.20+ get to join in the Bad Choices fun on 4/20! Patrons at all levels get access to the replay and to the podcast version of this unholy event. All patrons are going to be issued a Sex Bingo card to play along during Bad Choices and see if they win a prize! The prize has yet to be determined and may be something highly cursed, highly sexy, or just plain weird. It depends on how drunk we are by the end of the show, really.

Desperate to know who we're talking about on Saturday, April 20th?

Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines: Dick Dastardly and Muttley
The Flintsones: Barney Rubble
The Flintstones: Betty Rubble
The Jetsons: Rosie
Wacky Races: Penelope Pitstop
Space Ghost: Zorak
Captain Planet: Doctor Blight
The Yogi Bear Show: Yogi Bear
The Huckleberry Hound Show: Huckleberry Hound
Jabberjaw: Jabberjaw
Casper and the Angels: Space Officer Maxi
Hong Kong Phooey: Hong Kong Phooey
The Powerpuff Girls: Ms. Bellum
Moby Dick and the Mighty Mightor: Serpent Queen
Inch High, Private Eye: Inch High

Things are going to get buckwild, folks. Strap in.

Hard Choices on Patreon
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Twitter: @hardchoicespod

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https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
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