422: Charles Duhigg on Becoming a Supercommunicator
The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
Release Date: 11/22/2024
The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
In this deeply informative episode, I’m joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Mose, LMFT, who brings 30 years of clinical experience to the table and a unique approach to treating OCD by integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) with traditional methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Melissa shares how a personal experience—her daughter’s sudden-onset OCD—propelled her into the world of OCD treatment and changed the direction of her career. We talk through how OCD manifests, why traditional ERP can be both life-changing and difficult for people,...
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In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he’s faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself. Whether you're in food service, struggling with...
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Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim. Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences...
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Episode Summary: In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what’s been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it’s headed in. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why the...
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In this insightful interview, I’m joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body. Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a...
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In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format. The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment. The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of...
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In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment. The second question dives...
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Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!
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Pre-Order Bipolar Answers In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder. Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it...
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Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking...
info_outlineIn today's episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author Charles Duhigg to explore the science of effective communication and its profound impact on our personal and professional lives. Charles shares insights from his latest book, Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, delving into how skills like empathy, active listening, and understanding different types of conversations can transform the way we connect with others.
Our conversation uncovers the neurological underpinnings of communication, including the concept of neural entrainment and the matching principle. We discuss practical strategies for improving communication in various contexts—from personal relationships to the workplace—and address common pitfalls people face, such as social anxiety and miscommunication. Whether you're looking to enhance your relationships, become a better listener, or navigate tough conversations with ease, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you on your journey.
Chapters:
00:15 — Introduction: Meet Charles Duhigg
03:00 — From Business to Journalism: Charles's Unconventional Path
08:00 — The Power of Storytelling in Communication
11:45 — Understanding the Science Behind Effective Communication
14:00 — The Three Types of Conversations: Practical, Emotional, Social
17:00 — The Matching Principle: Aligning Conversations for Connection
21:00 — Diagnosing and Matching Conversation Types
24:00 — Looping for Understanding: A Technique for Better Listening
28:00 — Common Communication Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
31:00 — Empathy Without Mimicry: Connecting Without Oversharing
34:00 — Real-World Examples: Doctors, Therapists, and Effective Communication
38:00 — Advice for Introverts and Those with Social Anxiety
44:00 — The Power of Asking Questions in Social Settings
47:00 — Overview of 'Supercommunicators' and Its Practical Applications
51:00 — Navigating Tough Conversations: Tips and Strategies
54:00 — A Challenge for Listeners: Reconnecting with Someone
57:30 — Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Charles's Work
Hope you find this enlightening conversation as engaging as I did! Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
About the Podcast
I'm Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode is a mix of expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.
Guest Links:
- Charles's Latest Book: Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection — https://www.amazon.com/Supercommunicators-Unlock-Secret-Language-Connection/dp/0593243919
- Website: CharlesDuhigg.com — https://www.charlesduhigg.com/
- Twitter: @cduhigg — https://twitter.com/cduhigg
Connect With Me:
- Website: duffthepsych.com — https://www.duffthepsych.com/
- Instagram: @duffthepsych — https://www.instagram.com/duffthepsych/
- YouTube: Dr. Duff's Channel — https://www.youtube.com/c/DuffThePsych
#MentalHealth #EffectiveCommunication #CharlesDuhigg #SelfHelp #Supercommunicators #PersonalDevelopment #ListeningSkills #SocialAnxiety