The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
Hey, friends! My name is Robert. I am a neuropsychologist and self-help author. In this podcast, I interview fascinating individuals and provide information about psychology, mental health, neuroscience, relationships, and more. I have been told that I ask amazing questions and that I am talented at breaking down complex science into digestible information. Come have a listen and let me know if you agree!
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A New Approach to OCD: Internal Family Systems w/ Melissa Mose
11/10/2025
A New Approach to OCD: Internal Family Systems w/ Melissa Mose
In this deeply informative episode, I’m joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Mose, LMFT, who brings 30 years of clinical experience to the table and a unique approach to treating OCD by integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) with traditional methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Melissa shares how a personal experience—her daughter’s sudden-onset OCD—propelled her into the world of OCD treatment and changed the direction of her career. We talk through how OCD manifests, why traditional ERP can be both life-changing and difficult for people, and how IFS can offer a more compassionate, effective way to approach healing by helping clients access their internal “Self.” We also discuss Melissa’s new book for clinicians, her training work, and the upcoming OCD SoCal Conference happening online on November 15–16, 2025. 🧠 What We Discuss in This Episode: Melissa's unexpected path from literature and mythology to psychotherapy The sudden-onset OCD experience with her daughter that changed everything What OCD really is – beyond stereotypes – and why it's often misunderstood Core concepts of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) How Internal Family Systems (IFS) works and its 8 C's of Self-energy Why combining IFS and ERP may provide better outcomes for some people “Self-led ERP” – Melissa’s integrative model for treating OCD Real-life examples of recovery using this compassionate framework The importance of identifying OCD early, especially in kids Training efforts to help clinicians recognize and effectively treat OCD Hope for those who feel “too far gone” ⏱️ Episode Chapters & Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Melissa Mose and IFS for OCD 03:00 – Melissa’s background and shift from English literature to psychology 08:00 – Early career in teen and family systems therapy 11:00 – Her daughter’s sudden-onset OCD and the diagnosis of PANDAS 14:30 – Navigating confusion, misdiagnosis, and treatment discovery 18:00 – What OCD actually is: the obsession-compulsion cycle 22:00 – How compulsions generalize and worsen OCD 24:30 – Introduction to ERP and how it works 29:00 – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? 34:00 – Comparing IFS to ACT and other models 42:00 – Mapping OCD symptoms to internal "parts" using IFS 48:00 – A self-led approach to ERP: empowering the Self 50:30 – Client success stories and examples 55:00 – The rise of IFS in the OCD world 58:00 – Is IFS evidence-based for OCD? 01:00:00 – Melissa’s “Self-led ERP” model explained 01:02:00 – Workbook and practical tools coming soon 01:04:00 – How to get started with IFS 01:08:00 – Inside Out, visualization, and self-awareness 01:10:00 – Making IFS for OCD more accessible worldwide 01:12:00 – Final thoughts: hope and next steps for those struggling 📚 Resources & Links from the Episode 🔹 Melissa Mose’s Website 🔹 IFS for OCD Resources and Courses 🔹 Melissa’s Book: Internal Family Systems Therapy for OCD: A Clinician's Guide 📘 On Amazon: 📘 On Routledge: 🔹 OCD SoCal 2025 Online Conference (November 15–16, 2025) 🌐 Full Program Info: 🎟️ Register Here: 🎧 Stay Connected with Me 💌 Email: 🌐 Website: 📺 YouTube: 📸 Instagram:
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Celeb Chef Chris Valdes on Mental Health in Kitchens
11/03/2025
Celeb Chef Chris Valdes on Mental Health in Kitchens
In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he’s faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself. Whether you're in food service, struggling with burnout, or just love a good story with heart and spice, this one’s for you. Timestamps / Chapters: [00:00:00] Intro & Chris’s background [00:03:00] Earliest food memory: the flan and whipped cream incident [00:06:45] Growing up in a family restaurant [00:08:30] Father’s imprisonment and family disruption [00:13:00] Early entrepreneurial spirit (orange hustling!) [00:17:00] High school struggles & turning point with Le Cordon Bleu [00:23:00] Launching his catering company at 19 [00:26:00] First experience with depression & thoughts of ending it [00:29:00] Hitting a wall after a breakup & GMA meltdown [00:33:00] Psychedelic healing ceremony in Malibu [00:38:00] Rediscovering self through solitude, therapy, and boundaries [00:43:00] Toxic kitchen culture and normalizing mental health discussions [00:47:00] Holiday catering chaos and internal pressure [00:52:00] Advice on rest, recovery, and choosing yourself [00:56:00] What’s next: books, new management, and the slow lane [00:57:00] Signature nostalgic dish [00:59:00] Go-to Latin spices (cumin, garlic, cilantro) [01:01:00] What young Chris would say to 2025 Chris [01:02:30] Where to follow and final thoughts Links - Instagram: TikTok: His cookbook - One With the Kitchen:
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Dr. Andrea Martinez Talks Gangs, Loss, Depression, and Learning Discernment.
10/10/2025
Dr. Andrea Martinez Talks Gangs, Loss, Depression, and Learning Discernment.
Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim. Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences with depression and suicidality, and her decision to build armor around her heart this year before diving back into the heart of academia and book-writing. I really hope you enjoy this one. In this conversation, Dr. Martinez mentions this book: Stay connected: Weekly newsletter: – free tips, Q&A, and community updates. My website: – articles, resources, and ways to work with me. - Books & guides: – practical mental-health guides and workbooks. - Instagram: – daily insights, behind-the-scenes, and community chats.
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The Podcast is Coming Back.
10/01/2025
The Podcast is Coming Back.
Episode Summary: In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what’s been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it’s headed in. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why the podcast went quiet for a while A behind-the-scenes look at the attempted acquisition of the show The emotional and logistical toll of being let down by a potential deal Reflections on past professional disappointments outside of clinical work What’s next: rebranding, new episode formats, and a stronger emphasis on interviews Why connection and personal stories will be the heart of the podcast moving forward Dr. Duff’s renewed commitment to amplifying diverse voices and lived experiences Updates on the “Bipolar Answers” audiobook and Substack content Thoughts on staying consistent while prioritizing quality over quantity Timestamps: 00:00 – 00:52 — Welcome back! What this episode is about 00:52 – 02:00 — The podcast was almost sold—here's how it started 02:00 – 03:26 — Meeting the company, expectations, and initial excitement 03:26 – 06:04 — Multiple meetings and flying out to pitch in person 06:04 – 08:00 — In-person meetings and positive vibes, but no details yet 08:00 – 10:24 — Delays, excuses, and finally: the deal falls through 10:24 – 12:25 — Processing the disappointment and reflecting on past letdowns 12:25 – 13:21 — Token compensation offered, but trust was broken 13:21 – 14:00 — What’s next: staying open to future partnerships 14:00 – 15:22 — New focus: interviews over general Q&A 15:22 – 16:48 — The unique value of human connection in storytelling 16:48 – 17:15 — Rebranding plans and more diverse guest features 17:15 – 18:17 — Finishing the audiobook, editing, and prepping new interviews 18:17 – 19:05 — Where to find Dr. Duff in the meantime and the new YouTube direction Links & Resources: Website: Email: YouTube: Instagram: Substack: Want to Help Relaunch the Show? If you’re excited about the return of the podcast, be sure to subscribe, share the new episodes with your community, and leave a review wherever you listen. Every bit of support helps relaunch this phoenix from the ashes.
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437: Multicultural Identity, Somatic Healing, and Embodied Code Switching w/ Marcia Bonato Warren
04/18/2025
437: Multicultural Identity, Somatic Healing, and Embodied Code Switching w/ Marcia Bonato Warren
In this insightful interview, I’m joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body. Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book. This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world. Key Discussion Points: Marcia’s multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture What it means to experience culture somatically when language isn’t accessible The definition and practice of embodied code switching How somatic therapy works and how the body holds trauma, history, and healing Cultural embodiment and the importance of body-based awareness across social, emotional, and environmental realms The internal work of bridging identities that may feel in conflict Intergenerational trauma and healing as a form of cultural resilience Marcia’s new book as a form of protest and empowerment amid sociopolitical turmoil The value of curiosity and reclaiming our sense of wonder Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Marcia and her multicultural upbringing 04:30 – Advocating through names and early sense of identity 09:00 – Growing up between cultures and learning through somatic experience 14:00 – Noticing what it feels like to “not belong” in any cultural space 17:00 – The physical experience of fitting in (or not) 20:00 – What is somatic counseling and body-based psychotherapy? 24:00 – Holding multiple identities and forming relationships between them 28:00 – Embodied code switching: definitions and origins 35:00 – Identity, trauma, and resilience in the nervous system 40:00 – Diversity, empathy, and learning across differences 43:30 – Somatics, symbolism, and healing in therapy 47:00 – Marcia’s career in advocacy and transition to therapy 52:00 – Her new book as resistance and hope in a polarized world 58:30 – Book structure, audience, and why it matters now 1:06:00 – Final reflections on curiosity, awareness, and personal power Guest Links: Website: Book Info & Resources: Instagram: Buy the Book on Amazon: Contact Me: Email: Website: YouTube: Instagram: If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or tagging me on social to let me know your thoughts. And if Marcia’s story resonated with you, I’d love to hear how this conversation landed.
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436: Facing Horrific Family Trauma & Finding Joy After Divorce
04/11/2025
436: Facing Horrific Family Trauma & Finding Joy After Divorce
In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format. The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment. The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection. As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark or uncertain times. Key Discussion Points The complexities of publishing a memoir about trauma and abuse Understanding the impact of complex PTSD and generational trauma Navigating family threats and estrangement with personal boundaries Grieving the loss of an idealized future after divorce Why happiness doesn’t have to look how you thought it would Tips for finding support and resilience as a single parent The value of community, therapy, and chosen family Timestamps 00:00 – Intro and personal update 03:00 – Content warning for the first question 04:05 – Listener story: Surviving severe childhood abuse and family rejection 07:00 – Dr. Duff reflects on complex PTSD and trauma recovery 08:30 – The power of isolation in abusive systems 10:00 – Complicated dynamics with the listener’s mother 11:30 – Should I publish my book about my trauma? 13:00 – Weighing the risks and benefits of publishing under a pseudonym 14:30 – Standing in your truth despite family pushback 15:00 – Listener story: Facing loneliness and doubt after divorce 16:30 – Grieving the version of life you hoped for 18:00 – Family disappointment and changing dynamics 19:30 – The importance of time and realistic expectations 21:00 – Children often remember things differently than we expect 22:00 – Challenging fatalistic thoughts about the future 23:30 – Modeling resilience and authenticity for your kids 24:30 – Final thoughts and encouragement Mentioned in This Episode Episode 130: YouTube channel: More mental health content at: Submit a Question Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Reach out any time: 📧 Email: 🌐 Website: 📷 Instagram: 📺 YouTube: Support the Show If you’ve gotten something out of the podcast and haven’t left a review yet, now’s a perfect time—especially if you’re an Apple Podcasts listener. We're close to hitting 1,000 reviews, and every one helps others find the show and supports the mission of accessible mental health content.
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435: Moving Past infidelity & Coping with Sudden Medication Changes
04/04/2025
435: Moving Past infidelity & Coping with Sudden Medication Changes
In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment. The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife’s emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support. Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope. Key Discussion Points Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited. Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles. Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala. Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate. Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases. Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen. Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups. Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life. Question 2: Healing from Infidelity Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity. The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response. Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust. Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments. Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma. Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support. It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro 01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic? 03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development 05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults 08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care 12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support 14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options 17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation 19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate 21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal 24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments 26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy 28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing 31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity 33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways Resources & Links Website: Email: YouTube: Instagram: If today’s episode resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who could use the support. Your stories and questions continue to make this podcast what it is—thank you for being here. Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.
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An Update From Robert
03/28/2025
An Update From Robert
Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!
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Chapter From My NEW BOOK - Bipolar Answers
03/14/2025
Chapter From My NEW BOOK - Bipolar Answers
Pre-Order Bipolar Answers In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder. Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience. Timestamps: [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon! [02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations. [03:00] – Full reading of the book’s introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I. [18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode. [24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder. [37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases. Key Takeaways: Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice. Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown. Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference. The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them. Connect with Dr. Robert Duff: Website: Email: YouTube: Instagram: If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.
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433: Stuck in Trauma & Embarrassed by Emotional Reactions
03/07/2025
433: Stuck in Trauma & Embarrassed by Emotional Reactions
Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking steps toward healing and self-acceptance. What We Cover in This Episode: Understanding why trauma responses persist and how they impact daily life The role of avoidance in PTSD and how to begin addressing it Practical strategies for tackling overwhelming life changes How to communicate with a therapist about deeply buried trauma The importance of seeking trauma-informed therapy and possible medication options Exposure techniques for gradually confronting PTSD triggers Journaling as a tool for processing trauma at your own pace Overcoming embarrassment when experiencing emotional reactions in public Using gratitude as a way to shift focus from shame to connection Coping strategies to regulate emotions and build resilience Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction & request for listener questions 02:00 – Listener question: Living in a house that triggers PTSD 05:00 – Why trauma responses persist and the role of avoidance 10:00 – Communicating openly with a therapist about severe trauma 12:00 – Seeking trauma-informed therapy and medication considerations 16:00 – Making an actionable plan to move forward and sell the house 21:00 – Practical steps to start addressing home repairs and tasks 22:00 – Listener question: Managing PTSD emotional reactions in public 24:00 – Using gratitude to counter feelings of shame and embarrassment 27:00 – Grounding techniques and exposure exercises to build resilience 30:00 – The importance of seeking support from others 32:00 – Closing thoughts & listener engagement request Connect with Me: Email: Website: YouTube: Instagram: If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!
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432: What is High-Functioning Codependency? Terri Cole
02/28/2025
432: What is High-Functioning Codependency? Terri Cole
In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace. What We Cover in This Episode: Terri’s journey from talent agent to psychotherapist Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no How to conduct a resentment inventory and why it’s helpful Addressing difficult family dynamics around social and political issues How Terri’s book, Too Much, can help you break free from codependency Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Terri Cole and her background 01:00 – How Terri transitioned from talent agent to psychotherapist 16:00 – Recognizing high-functioning codependency 25:00 – Childhood & societal influences on codependency 30:00 – The importance of self-awareness and therapy 39:00 – Practical tools for overcoming codependency 42:00 – Navigating difficult family dynamics 49:00 – Setting boundaries and learning to say no 52:00 – Conducting a resentment inventory 58:00 – How Too Much can help you break free Resources Mentioned: Too Much by Terri Cole: High-Functioning Codependency Toolkit: Mastermind program (Flourish): Terri’s membership community: The Terri Cole Show Podcast: Connect with Me: Email: Website: YouTube: Instagram: If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!
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431: Pathological Demand Avoidance & Persistent Low-Grade Depression
02/21/2025
431: Pathological Demand Avoidance & Persistent Low-Grade Depression
Episode 431: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Coaching & Persistent Depression Welcome to another episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Dr. Robert Duff! In this Q&A episode, Dr. Duff tackles two insightful listener questions on very different but equally important mental health topics. Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Coaching A listener working as an individual sports coach seeks advice on how to best support a talented but highly resistant student who displays signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Dr. Duff dives into: What PDA is and how it manifests in individuals, particularly in relation to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions. The importance of reframing PDA as a high drive for autonomy rather than defiance. Practical coaching strategies to work around demand avoidance, including collaborative goal setting, offering choices, and making training sessions more engaging and playful. The significance of open-ended questions and genuine curiosity in understanding the root of a student’s resistance. Question 2: Chronic Low-Grade Depression (Persistent Depressive Disorder) A listener describes their struggle with long-term, low-grade depression despite attempts with medication and therapy. Dr. Duff provides insights into: Understanding Persistent Depressive Disorder (formerly known as dysthymia) and how it differs from episodic major depression. Behavioral activation as a treatment approach, including strategies for identifying and engaging in potentially enjoyable activities despite a lack of motivation or pleasure. The five-minute rule to help overcome resistance to activities. Medication considerations, including alternatives like Wellbutrin (bupropion) and the combination drug Auvelity, which may have fewer side effects. Non-medication treatments such as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and ketamine therapy. The importance of evaluating life circumstances to identify external contributors to chronic depression, such as hidden identity struggles or unsatisfying relationships. Chapters [00:00] Intro and updates on Dr. Duff’s upcoming bipolar book [03:00] Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in coaching [12:00] Strategies for engaging students with PDA [14:00] Question 2: Chronic low-grade depression and treatment options [19:00] Behavioral activation and the five-minute rule [23:00] Medication alternatives and non-pharmacological treatments [27:00] Life circumstances and their role in persistent depression [28:00] Outro and listener support requests Resources & Links Dr. Duff’s website: Email your questions: Follow Dr. Duff on Instagram: Dr. Duff’s book “Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression”: Previous episodes on TMS and ketamine treatments: More on ketamine treatments: Thank you for tuning in! If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with a friend or leaving a review. Your support helps the podcast grow and reach more people who need it. See you next time!
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430: The Truth About Recovery with Dr. Mala
02/07/2025
430: The Truth About Recovery with Dr. Mala
Episode 430: Integrative Approaches to Recovery with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, also known as Dr. Mala, to discuss her integrative approach to addiction recovery, rehabilitation, and mental health treatment. Dr. Mala shares her personal journey that led her into the field, the importance of holistic and individualized treatment, and how she has worked to break down barriers in accessing quality care. What We Cover in This Episode: Dr. Mala’s personal journey into psychology and addiction recovery work The challenges of pushing for integrative mental health care How trauma informed her approach to treatment The importance of cultural competence in mental health and recovery Understanding addiction recovery as a non-linear process The necessity of breaking isolation in the recovery journey The evolving role of virtual therapy and accessibility in mental health care How alternative and holistic approaches such as yoga, meditation, and adventure therapy are valuable in rehabilitation The role of family and loved ones in supporting recovery How to advocate for personalized treatment if current options aren’t working Resources available through Recovery.com for both individuals and families Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Mala and her background 02:00 – How Dr. Mala entered the field of psychology and recovery 06:00 – Why she emphasizes integrative approaches in treatment 10:00 – Challenges in advocating for a holistic recovery model 12:00 – Misconceptions about addiction and recovery 16:00 – The importance of connection and breaking isolation 21:00 – Alternative therapeutic approaches that work 27:00 – The role of family and community in recovery 33:00 – Steps to take if current treatment isn’t effective 38:00 – Recovery.com and available resources 44:00 – Final words of wisdom for those struggling or supporting a loved one Resources: Recovery.com: State of Recovery 2025: Giving Voice to Depression Podcast: Connect with Dr. Mala: Recovery.com Podcast: Instagram: Connect with Me: Email: Website: YouTube: Instagram: If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!
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429: Coping with the Cruel World & Enduring Heartbreak
01/31/2025
429: Coping with the Cruel World & Enduring Heartbreak
In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I answer two deeply personal and important listener questions. The first comes from a trans man struggling with the impact of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, fear for his safety, and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. We talk about tangible ways to navigate the stress of doomscrolling, finding community, and taking back control in uncertain times. The second question dives into the pain of heartbreak—specifically, the loss of a best friend after unrequited love. I discuss how to process grief, handle regret, and move forward when a relationship changes in ways you didn’t expect. Whether you're facing fear, loss, or uncertainty, this episode offers support, validation, and practical steps to help you through it. Chapters: 00:00 — Intro: You Are Seen, You Are Valid 02:00 — Shoutout to the Finch App: A Fun Self-Care Tool 03:00 — Coping with Fear & Uncertainty as a Trans Person in a Hostile Climate 10:30 — Managing Doomscrolling & Social Media Overwhelm 14:00 — The Importance of Community & Seeking Safe Spaces 18:00 — Mental Health Resources & Seeking Support 19:00 — Handling Unrequited Love & The Pain of Heartbreak 22:30 — Why You’re Not to Blame for How Things Changed 24:00 — Navigating Grief & Loss in Relationships 27:30 — The Power of Solo Time & Rebuilding Your Life 29:00 — Closing Thoughts & Next Episode Preview Resources & Links: • Finch App – A self-care companion that makes mental health a little more fun! • Trans Lifeline – | (877) 565-8860 • The Trevor Project – | Crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth • Find a Therapist – About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My goal is to break down mental health topics into real, relatable, and actionable advice. Whether it's tackling anxiety, navigating personal challenges, or discussing the latest in psychology, I’m here to help you thrive. Connect With Me: 🌐 Website: 📷 Instagram: 🎥 YouTube: 💙 If this episode resonates with you, please rate & review the podcast, and share it with someone who might need it. You are not alone. #MentalHealth #LGBTQSupport #Heartbreak #CopingSkills #SelfCare #Doomscrolling #HardcoreSelfHelp
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428: Overcoming Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre
01/24/2025
428: Overcoming Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre
In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing. Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs. We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle. If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre 02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path 07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists 15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health 20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred 27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self 34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing 40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care 45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself 50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know 57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Guest Links: Dr. Blaise Aguirre’s Website: Learn More About DBT: I Hate Myself: Dr. Aguirre’s Latest Book (Coming February 2025) Connect With Me: Website: Instagram: YouTube: Sponsored By: This episode is brought to you by NoCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If intrusive thoughts and compulsions are impacting your daily life, NoCD offers specialized Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit . Hope you find this conversation as inspiring and thought-provoking as I did! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments. Tags: #MentalHealth #SelfHatred #BlaiseAguirre #DBT #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SelfCompassion #TraumaHealing #Parenting #Mindfulness #SelfHelp
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427: THE Guided Meditation you need for 2025
01/17/2025
427: THE Guided Meditation you need for 2025
In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and intentional breathing exercises, this meditation offers a space to acknowledge your stressors, release tension, and tap into a feeling of calm and clarity. This experience is set in a vivid mindscape of space, where you can imagine yourself aboard a futuristic spacecraft, surrounded by the beauty of the cosmos. Together, we’ll navigate through moments of recognition, release, and rejuvenation. By the end of this session, you’ll feel more centered and grounded, with a renewed connection to how you’d like to move forward. Whether you’re a seasoned meditator or new to mindfulness, this episode is a judgment-free zone to focus on yourself. Bookmark it to return to anytime you need a mental reset. Sponsor This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you’re stuck in cycles of overthinking, compulsive behaviors, or intrusive thoughts, NOCD offers specialized treatment using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—a gold-standard therapy for OCD. They provide virtual sessions with licensed therapists, accept many major insurance plans, and offer support between sessions to make treatment as accessible as possible. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit . For more insights on OCD and ERP, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath in episode 406 of this podcast. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Why This Meditation Matters 03:00 — Sponsor: NOCD – Treatment for OCD Symptoms 04:30 — Setting the Scene: Guided Visualization in Space 08:00 — Acknowledging and Offloading Mental Burdens 13:00 — Breathing for Release: Techniques to Let Go 17:00 — Choosing Your Focus and Setting Your Intention 19:30 — Relaxation Breathing and Body Scan 25:00 — Final Reflections and Letting the Experience Settle About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to make mental health topics relatable and actionable. Whether through guided meditations like this one, Q&A sessions, or expert interviews, I aim to help you navigate life’s challenges with clarity and confidence. Connect With Me: Website: Instagram: YouTube: Hashtags: #GuidedMeditation #Mindfulness #MentalHealth #Relaxation #StressRelief #SelfHelp
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426: How to Find Purpose and Not Regret Your Life with Jordan Grumet
01/10/2025
426: How to Find Purpose and Not Regret Your Life with Jordan Grumet
In this inspiring episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jordan Grumet, a hospice director, author, and podcast host, to explore how we can transform our lives by embracing the concept of “little p purpose.” Dr. Grumet shares insights from his latest book, The Purpose Code, which offers actionable strategies to uncover and build a meaningful life, regardless of your circumstances. Our conversation dives deep into the difference between “big P Purpose” (society’s lofty, often unattainable ideals) and “little p purpose” (daily actions that bring joy and meaning). Dr. Grumet shares his personal journey—from losing his father at a young age to becoming a physician driven by unresolved trauma, to ultimately finding fulfillment by pursuing his passions for writing, speaking, and connecting with others. Key takeaways from our discussion include practical ways to recognize your purpose anchors, how to turn regrets into motivations, and why pursuing joy in small, intentional ways can lead to profound impact and lasting legacy. We also explore how Dr. Grumet’s work in hospice has shaped his understanding of what truly matters in life, highlighting lessons from those at the end of their journeys. This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone feeling stuck, searching for meaning, or simply looking to live with more intentionality and joy. Sponsor This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you're caught in an endless loop of “what-ifs” or struggling with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, NOCD offers specialized, evidence-based therapy designed just for OCD—Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). They accept many major insurance plans, making it accessible and affordable, with support available between therapy sessions. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit . Plus, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath, NOCD’s Chief Clinical Officer, on episode 406 of this podcast to learn more about OCD and their approach. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Jordan Grumet 02:00 — Finding Purpose After Loss: Dr. Grumet’s Early Life 06:15 — Purpose Anchors: Joyful Work vs. Goal-Oriented Burnout 10:45 — Lessons from the Hospice Life Review 16:30 — Regrets of the Dying: Turning Regret into Action 20:00 — Building Purpose When You Feel Stuck 24:15 — Tools and Levers: Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction 30:00 — The Difference Between Meaning and Purpose 37:00 — How Small Joys Create Big Impact and Legacy 44:15 — Practical Steps to Start Building a Purposeful Life 50:30 — Final Takeaways: Finding Your Purpose Anchors About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and strategies for living authentically and fulfilling your potential. Guest Links Dr. Grumet’s Website: The Purpose Code: Podcast: Connect With Me: Website: Instagram: YouTube: #MentalHealth #Purpose #PersonalDevelopment #Legacy #SelfHelp #Mindfulness
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425: My Word for 2025!
12/20/2024
425: My Word for 2025!
In today’s year-end wrap-up episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast (Episode 425), I reflect on 2024 and reveal my guiding word for 2025. Instead of traditional New Year’s resolutions, I choose a single word each year to serve as a focal point and inspiration. I revisit last year’s word—Connection—and discuss what worked well, like strengthening family bonds and growing professionally through clinical supervision and podcast interviews, as well as what didn’t go as planned (like making new friends or achieving full Spanish fluency). These reflections highlight how intentions can guide growth in unexpected ways. Looking ahead to 2025, my new word is Mend. From addressing health issues to repairing lingering logistical and financial tasks, I want to focus on making what I already have stronger and more sustainable, rather than building from scratch. This year’s theme is about restoring, improving, and taking care of what’s important in my personal life, home, and professional endeavors—including the podcast and Duff the Psych projects. Join me as I wrap up 2024, share my aspirations for 2025, and encourage you to reflect on your own values, accomplishments, and future direction. Thank you for another year of support and attention. I’ll see you in 2025! Chapters: 00:00 — Reflecting on Another Year: Gratitude & Long-Term Listeners 01:00 — Beyond Resolutions: Choosing a Guiding Word Each Year 03:00 — Reviewing 2024’s Word “Connection”: Wins, Misses & Insights 05:00 — Personal Highlights: Family Bonding, Board Games & Quality Time 09:00 — Professional Growth: Clinical Supervision, Networking & Interviews 11:00 — Language Ambitions: Progress in Spanish, But Not Fluent Yet 13:00 — Introducing 2025’s Word: “Mend” 14:00 — Repairing & Improving: Health, Home Projects & Finances 16:00 — Podcast & Brand Updates: Refining Instead of Expanding 18:00 — Final Thoughts: Entering 2025 with Intention & Flexibility About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist aiming to make mental health more accessible. On the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I break down complex psychological concepts, share actionable tips, and provide relatable advice to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Whether through solo episodes, interviews, or listener Q&A, my goal is to support your mental well-being without unnecessary jargon. Connect With Me: Website: Contact: Email: Instagram: YouTube: #MentalHealth #SelfHelp #PersonalDevelopment #Mindfulness #NewYear #Goals #Intention #Reflection #Podcast
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424: Antidepressants are Making me WORSE & Stress is Waking Me Up Early
12/14/2024
424: Antidepressants are Making me WORSE & Stress is Waking Me Up Early
In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast (Episode 424), I tackle two listener questions that address challenging mental health scenarios. The first question delves into the concept of antidepressant-associated chronic irritable dysphoria (ACID), a proposed condition rather than a formally recognized diagnosis, and the potential long-term effects of antidepressants in the context of bipolar disorder. I break down the limited research behind ACID, emphasize the importance of comprehensive care, and acknowledge the frustration that can arise when medications seem to worsen symptoms instead of helping. The second question focuses on waking up early with irritability and racing thoughts. I provide practical strategies like pre-bed journaling to offload worries, identifying actionable steps for lingering concerns, and creating a calming buffer before sleep. I also discuss the importance of reexamining one’s work environment, considering meaningful changes, and finding fulfillment outside of a stressful job. Throughout the episode, I offer insights on self-advocacy, exploring alternative treatments, and laying the groundwork to regain a sense of control in your daily life. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Needing More Questions & Holiday Scheduling 02:00 — ACID Explained: A Proposed Condition, Not a Formal Diagnosis 08:00 — Bipolar Disorder & Antidepressants: Complex Interactions and Research Gaps 11:00 — Frustration with Care: Inadequate Guidance and Long-Term Medication Issues 14:00 — Exploring Alternatives: Therapy, Lifestyle Changes, and Treatments Like TMS/Ketamine 21:00 — Morning Irritability: Unpacking Workplace Stress & Uncontrollable Factors 24:00 — Reevaluating Work: Finding Meaning Outside Employment and Considering Changes 27:00 — Pre-Bed Journaling: Offloading Worries, Identifying Action Steps, and Creating Buffers 30:00 — Final Thoughts: Gratitude, Year-End Plans, and Continuing the Journey About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. I’m here to demystify mental health, break down psychological concepts, and provide actionable advice without unnecessary jargon. Through expert interviews, listener Q&A, and relatable discussions, this podcast aims to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Connect With Me: Website: Contact: Email: Instagram: YouTube: #MentalHealth #Antidepressants #Bipolar #WorkStress #Journaling #SleepHygiene #QandA #SelfHelp #Psychology
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423: Neurodiversity Playbook with Dr. Matt Zakreski
12/06/2024
423: Neurodiversity Playbook with Dr. Matt Zakreski
In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with psychologist, professional speaker, and author Dr. Matt Zakreski to explore the concept of neurodiversity and how to create a more supportive world for neurodivergent individuals. Drawing from both personal and professional experiences, Dr. Matt shares his journey as someone who is gifted and ADHD, and how that shaped his understanding and advocacy for neurodivergent folks. We discuss what neurodiversity truly means, highlight differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent brains, and break down why it’s crucial to avoid framing neurodivergent individuals as “failed neurotypicals.” Dr. Matt provides practical strategies for understanding executive functioning challenges, improving communication, and fostering more inclusive environments both in schools and in everyday life. Whether you’re neurodivergent yourself, raising a neurodivergent child, or simply looking to become a better ally, this episode is packed with insights and guidance to help you understand, accept, and celebrate neurological differences. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Send in Your Questions & Introducing Dr. Matt Zakreski 02:00 — Defining Neurodiversity and Neurodivergence 08:00 — The Performance Cliff: When School Outpaces Natural Ability 11:00 — Common Threads: Executive Functioning and Pragmatic Language in Neurodivergence 17:00 — Brain-Based Differences: Sensory Input, Basal Ganglia, and Emotional Intensity 21:00 — Universal Design in Education: Creating Systems That Work for All 24:00 — Shame, Emotionality, and the Reality of ADHD 28:00 — Inattentive vs. Hyperactive: Recognizing Subtle Signs and Misdiagnoses 33:00 — Rethinking Assessment: Moving Beyond DSM Checklists 38:00 — Why Specialists and Relationships Matter in Mental Health Care 41:00 — Making Therapy Work for Kids: Meeting Them Where They Are 43:00 — The Neurodiversity Playbook: Tools, Strategies, and Action Points 48:00 — Intention vs. Impact: Communicating Clearly and Compassionately 52:00 — Practical Tips for Executive Functioning in Daily Life 54:00 — Final Takeaways: Building Community and Embracing Your Unique Brain About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into approachable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and practical strategies for thriving. Whether through expert interviews, audience Q&A, or practical tips, this show is all about making meaningful changes without unnecessary jargon or fluff. Guest Links: The Neurodiversity Playbook by Dr. Matt Zakreski: Dr. Matt Zakreski’s Website: Instagram: Connect With Me: Website: Instagram: YouTube: #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Gifted #TwiceExceptional #Autism #ExecutiveFunction #InclusiveEducation #MentalHealth #SelfHelp #PersonalDevelopment
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422: Charles Duhigg on Becoming a Supercommunicator
11/22/2024
422: Charles Duhigg on Becoming a Supercommunicator
In today's episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author Charles Duhigg to explore the science of effective communication and its profound impact on our personal and professional lives. Charles shares insights from his latest book, Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, delving into how skills like empathy, active listening, and understanding different types of conversations can transform the way we connect with others. Our conversation uncovers the neurological underpinnings of communication, including the concept of neural entrainment and the matching principle. We discuss practical strategies for improving communication in various contexts—from personal relationships to the workplace—and address common pitfalls people face, such as social anxiety and miscommunication. Whether you're looking to enhance your relationships, become a better listener, or navigate tough conversations with ease, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you on your journey. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Charles Duhigg 03:00 — From Business to Journalism: Charles's Unconventional Path 08:00 — The Power of Storytelling in Communication 11:45 — Understanding the Science Behind Effective Communication 14:00 — The Three Types of Conversations: Practical, Emotional, Social 17:00 — The Matching Principle: Aligning Conversations for Connection 21:00 — Diagnosing and Matching Conversation Types 24:00 — Looping for Understanding: A Technique for Better Listening 28:00 — Common Communication Mistakes and How to Avoid Them 31:00 — Empathy Without Mimicry: Connecting Without Oversharing 34:00 — Real-World Examples: Doctors, Therapists, and Effective Communication 38:00 — Advice for Introverts and Those with Social Anxiety 44:00 — The Power of Asking Questions in Social Settings 47:00 — Overview of 'Supercommunicators' and Its Practical Applications 51:00 — Navigating Tough Conversations: Tips and Strategies 54:00 — A Challenge for Listeners: Reconnecting with Someone 57:30 — Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Charles's Work Hope you find this enlightening conversation as engaging as I did! Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. About the Podcast I'm Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode is a mix of expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Guest Links: Charles's Latest Book: Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection — Website: CharlesDuhigg.com — Twitter: @cduhigg — Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com — Instagram: @duffthepsych — YouTube: Dr. Duff's Channel — #MentalHealth #EffectiveCommunication #CharlesDuhigg #SelfHelp #Supercommunicators #PersonalDevelopment #ListeningSkills #SocialAnxiety
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421: Grieving your Therapist & Non-Suicidal Self-Injury
11/15/2024
421: Grieving your Therapist & Non-Suicidal Self-Injury
In this Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I address two insightful listener questions. The first explores coping with the end of a therapeutic relationship, while the second delves into the physical manifestations of depression and strategies to manage them. This episode offers practical advice and empathetic understanding for those navigating these challenges. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Returning to Q&A After a series of interviews, I return to answering your questions. Learn how to submit your own and connect with the podcast. 02:05 — Coping with the End of Therapy A listener shares the grief experienced after concluding therapy with a transformative therapist. I discuss why these feelings are normal, the concept of transference, and practical ways to navigate the loss of such a significant relationship. 12:15 — Understanding the Physical Symptoms of Depression Addressing a listener's concern about the often-overlooked physical manifestations of depression, including fatigue, dissociation, and the role of self-injury as a coping mechanism. I explore what these symptoms can look like, why they occur, and practical tools to help reconnect with the body and manage the emotional weight. 24:00 — Final Thoughts and Encouragement Reflecting on the courage it takes to share these challenges and offering guidance on taking small steps toward healing. About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode combines expert insights, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Connect With Me: Website: Instagram: YouTube: Mentioned in This Episode: Book: Skin Game: A Memoir by Caroline Kettlewell. This memoir provides a vivid account of living with and overcoming self-injury. Available on Amazon: I hope you find this episode insightful and supportive. If you'd like to send me a question for a future episode, please email me at
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420: Productive Failure with Dr. Manu Kapur
11/08/2024
420: Productive Failure with Dr. Manu Kapur
In today’s episode, I sit down with Dr. Manu Kapur, a professor of learning sciences, to delve into his unique approach to education: productive failure. Dr. Kapur explains how intentionally designing failure within the learning process can lead to deeper understanding and greater knowledge retention. We discuss the science behind productive failure and how it differs from traditional methods, which often focus on direct instruction followed by application. Dr. Kapur shares his experiences from childhood dreams of soccer to academic life at ETH Zurich, showing how personal failures have shaped his life and work. Together, we explore key concepts like the “four A’s” of productive failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly. This method encourages learners to first explore problems in a safe space, where failure is expected, to prepare them for deeper learning through expert guidance afterward. Dr. Kapur’s insights reveal how frustration and negative emotions, when managed safely, can enhance memory and motivation, making failure a powerful tool in the learning process. In this episode, Dr. Kapur provides real-world examples, from learning statistical concepts in the classroom to developing retrieval paths in social interactions. We also discuss how productive failure can be applied beyond the classroom to daily life and parenting, helping adults model and reinforce the benefits of persistence and exploration for children. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Manu Kapur and the Concept of Productive Failure 05:30 — The Science Behind Learning Through Failure 12:00 — The “Four A’s” of Productive Failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly 18:30 — Real-Life Examples: Productive Failure in the Classroom 24:00 — The Role of Emotions in Memory and Learning 30:05 — Applying Productive Failure in Daily Life 36:25 — Parenting and Productive Failure: Teaching Kids Resilience 41:50 — Productive Failure’s Global Applications and Cultural Reflections 47:05 — Key Takeaways and Where to Find More from Dr. Kapur About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, and on this podcast, we dive deep into mental health and personal growth, bringing expert insights and practical advice to help you navigate life’s challenges. Join us for conversations that break down complex concepts into actionable steps. Guest Links: Dr. Kapur’s Book: Website: Follow Dr. Kapur on , Connect With Me: Website: Instagram: YouTube: #ProductiveFailure #Learning #Education #GrowthMindset #MentalHealth
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419: Seth Godin - Using Strategy to Shape Your Life and Mental Health
10/25/2024
419: Seth Godin - Using Strategy to Shape Your Life and Mental Health
In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I’m thrilled to sit down with marketing guru and best-selling author Seth Godin. Seth shares his near-death experience off the coast of San Clemente—a moment that became a powerful reminder of his mission to teach and contribute. We explore his philosophy of “strategy as a philosophy of becoming” and discuss practical ways to craft personal life strategies that align with our values, whether in creativity, mental resilience, or personal growth. In our conversation, Seth and I cover a range of ideas, from recognizing societal systems that impact our lives to overcoming societal pressures and finding meaning in service to others. Seth’s “lifeguard analogy” emphasizes the importance of focusing on helping others, and his insights are full of actionable takeaways for anyone looking to lead a more purpose-driven life. Tune in for an episode packed with practical strategies and reflections that can help you shape a life you’re proud of. Topics Covered: Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence The Lifeguard Analogy: Why Starting with Generosity Can Change Your Life Recognizing the Systems That Influence Our Daily Lives How Strategy and Mental Health Intersect in Our Modern World Building Powerful Daily Creative Habits Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose Developing Authentic Networks and Finding Your Community Timestamps: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Seth Godin 02:05 — Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence 06:00 — Learning Through the Lifeguard Analogy: How to Start Contributing Now 12:15 — Recognizing the Systems Shaping Our Lives 18:30 — Personal Strategy and Mental Health: How They Intersect 24:00 — The Power of Daily Creative Habits 30:40 — Real-Life Applications: Who's It For, What's It For? 36:25 — Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose 41:50 — How Strategy Can Help Us Cope with Modern Mental Health Challenges 47:05 — Building Authentic Networks and Finding Community About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist dedicated to breaking down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and practical strategies to help you thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, useful tips, and answers to listener questions, all to support your journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. Guest Links: Seth’s Latest Book: Seth Godin’s Blog: Seth’s Podcast: Connect With Me: Website: Instagram: YouTube:
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418: Healing Childhood PTSD with Anna Runkle The Crappy Childhood Fairy
10/18/2024
418: Healing Childhood PTSD with Anna Runkle The Crappy Childhood Fairy
In this episode, I sit down with Anna Runkle, better known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, to explore her journey of healing from childhood PTSD and the unique methods she has developed to help others do the same. Anna has helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide re-regulate their nervous systems and recover from deep emotional wounds using simple but powerful techniques. We dive deep into what childhood PTSD really is, how it differs from complex PTSD, and what doctors often get wrong about trauma. Anna also shares her personal story of growing up in a chaotic commune, the lasting effects of emotional neglect and abandonment, and the practical steps she used to reclaim her life and happiness. Whether you're personally affected by trauma or seeking to support someone who is, Anna’s wisdom, tools, and personal insights provide valuable takeaways for anyone on a healing journey. Links: Order Anna's book Re-Regulated here: Get Instant Access to Anna's free online course, The Daily Practice here: YouTube Channel: Website: CCF Instagram: Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction Introduction to Anna Runkle, aka the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and her mission to help people heal from childhood PTSD. Overview of the topics to be covered: childhood trauma, PTSD, healing methods, and Anna’s personal story. 2:30 – Anna’s Early Life and Growing Up in a Commune Anna describes her chaotic upbringing in a Berkeley commune, surrounded by addiction, neglect, and violence. The impact of family addiction and how it shaped her view of the world. 7:15 – Understanding Childhood PTSD vs. Complex PTSD Anna explains the difference between childhood PTSD and complex PTSD, and why she uses a more accessible term for the general public. How childhood trauma can stay latent and resurface in adulthood after new traumatic events. 12:45 – Coping Mechanisms and the Breaking Point Anna shares how being the "good girl" helped her survive but eventually led to deep depression. Her experience of hitting rock bottom and the overwhelming effects of what she calls a "trauma storm." 16:30 – The Effects of Gaslighting and Emotional Neglect Anna discusses the emotional invalidation she faced growing up and the gaslighting that made her doubt her own reality. The lasting impact of growing up in an environment of denial. 21:00 – The Role of Attachment Wounds and Limerence How unresolved emotional neglect led to dysfunctional relationships in Anna’s life, especially through a phenomenon called "limerence"—an obsessive, addictive form of love. The cycle of seeking validation in unhealthy ways due to an insecure attachment style. 27:30 – Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation Anna explains the concept of nervous system dysregulation and how trauma impacts not only emotions but also physical health. Her personal health struggles with autoimmune diseases and chronic fatigue, and how regulating her nervous system led to profound healing. 33:00 – The Power of Simple Healing Techniques Anna shares the simple yet powerful technique of writing down fears and resentments daily, a method she learned from a friend in AA. How this practice gave her the emotional relief she had been seeking for years. 38:45 – Generational Trauma and Breaking the Cycle Anna reflects on the generational trauma in her family and the importance of breaking the cycle of emotional neglect and dysfunction. How her own healing journey has allowed her to parent with more stability and emotional availability. 43:00 – The Myth of ‘What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger’ Anna challenges the common belief that trauma automatically leads to growth, explaining that for many people, trauma can be devastating without proper support. The dangers of spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. 48:15 – Finding True Healing and Becoming Your Full Self Anna talks about the ultimate goal of trauma healing: becoming your full, real self and creating space to hear your own inner guidance. The importance of personal freedom, acceptance, and helping others on their healing journey. 53:00 – Practical Takeaways and Final Thoughts Anna offers actionable advice for anyone struggling with childhood trauma, focusing on simple daily practices that help re-regulate the nervous system and foster healing. How to connect with Anna and learn more about her work with the Crappy Childhood Fairy. Key Takeaways: Childhood PTSD often goes unrecognized or is misunderstood, even within the medical community. Emotional neglect and trauma can deeply impact adult relationships, leading to patterns of insecurity and attachment wounds. Healing from trauma involves re-regulating the nervous system, a process that can lead to profound physical, emotional, and mental recovery. Simple daily practices, like writing down fears and resentments, can provide powerful emotional relief and open the door to deeper healing. Breaking the cycle of generational trauma is possible, and it begins with self-awareness, acceptance, and practical steps toward recovery. Support the Podcast: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review! Your support helps others find the show. Follow me on Instagram: Website: Join the Hardcore Self Help Facebook Community:
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417: Podcast Updates and Random Show!
10/11/2024
417: Podcast Updates and Random Show!
In this laid-back check-in episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I take you through a series of updates and random musings. I discuss the current state of the podcast, why I decided to fire my ad agency, and the recent revival of interviews. I also share some personal projects, from working on my bipolar disorder book to collaborating with my kids on a creative game inspired by Minecraft. Throughout, I reflect on AI innovations, the challenges of balancing podcasting with life, and ways I've been keeping active, like my new rucking routine. This episode is perfect for catching up on everything happening in my world, from professional changes to hobbies and everything in between. Links: with your questions or feedback. for more contact options. Check out for more brain-focused content. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 01:00 Podcast Updates 02:00 Fired Ad Agency 05:00 Interview Segment Revival 08:00 Changes in Podcast Style 09:00 Decline in Podcast Numbers and Stepping Away from Ads 11:00 Writing Update - Bipolar Book 13:00 AI Adventures - ChatGPT Voice Mode Demo 18:00 AI Applications - Notebook LM 21:00 Personal Favorites - POV Cooking Channels 22:00 Nostalgia Gaming - Pokémon Insurgence 23:00 Podcast Recommendation - Tim Ferriss Interview with Elizabeth Gilbert 24:00 Work and Mentorship Updates 26:00 Fitness Journey - Rucking 27:00 Creative Projects with Kids 28:00 Reflections on Current Events and Mental Health 29:00 Wrap-up
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416: David Burns MD - "Feeling Good" Legend on Life, Legacy, and His New AI App
09/27/2024
416: David Burns MD - "Feeling Good" Legend on Life, Legacy, and His New AI App
In today’s episode, I had the absolute honor of sitting down with Dr. David Burns, a true legend in the field of mental health. Dr. Burns is not only a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), but he’s also the best-selling author of Feeling Good and Feeling Great, which have collectively sold millions of copies worldwide. Spending so much time with him was a real treat, as he shared his incredible insights into mental health, his innovative T.E.A.M. Therapy method, and his groundbreaking Feeling Great App. We talked about how his methods are helping people achieve rapid and lasting recovery from depression, anxiety, and other difficult emotions, sometimes in just one session. Dr. Burns also gave us a behind-the-scenes look at how his AI-driven app is transforming mental health treatment, making it accessible and effective for people everywhere. This conversation was truly fascinating, and I’m sure you’ll find a ton of value in it. Whether you’re familiar with Dr. Burns’ work or hearing about him for the first time, you’ll come away with practical advice and a deeper understanding of how to break free from the emotional patterns holding you back. In this episode, we cover: Dr. Burns' early work with CBT and how it evolved into T.E.A.M. Therapy. The creation and impact of the Feeling Great App, and how it leverages AI to deliver therapy. Why measuring progress in therapy is essential and how data-driven methods are changing the field. The common cause behind many negative emotions, and how to tackle it. Dr. Burns’ unique approach to therapy—including why he hasn’t charged for sessions in over 30 years. Links: Reach out!
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415: Latino Mental Health, Machismo, and Vulnerability as Strength with Dr. Paul Rivera
09/20/2024
415: Latino Mental Health, Machismo, and Vulnerability as Strength with Dr. Paul Rivera
Breaking Boundaries: Dr. Paul Rivera on Redefining Success and Masculinity In this episode, Dr. Paul Rivera, a first-generation Latino American, shares his inspiring journey navigating cultural expectations and his pursuit of a fulfilling life. From his early challenges growing up in a Latino neighborhood in Los Angeles to his prestigious roles as a professor and diplomat, Dr. Rivera discusses the importance of discovering one's unique superpower, embracing vulnerability as a strength, and redefining traditional notions of masculinity. Together with his wife, Dr. Rivera co-founded BE ACT Change, an organization focused on aligning individuals and organizations with their purpose. He also discusses their book, 'Creating Your Limitless Life,' which provides insights into achieving authentic success beyond material trappings. Tune in for valuable lessons on mental health, family dynamics, and sustainable change. Sponsored by , promoting proactive steps for health through genetic screening and personalized plans. 00:00 Introduction: Dreams and Expectations 00:25 Meet Dr. Paul Rivera: A Journey of Defying Expectations 01:28 Navigating Cultural Expectations and Personal Aspirations 02:22 Interview with Dr. Paul Rivera: Early Life and Influences 03:12 Growing Up Latino in Los Angeles 06:33 Balancing Work, Culture, and Personal Identity 18:30 Family Dynamics and Personal Growth 23:56 Challenging Machismo and Embracing Vulnerability 29:50 The Power of Vulnerability 30:38 Creating Safe Spaces at Home 32:11 Community Outreach and Education 33:47 Recognizing and Nurturing Potential 35:07 Discovering Your Superpower 37:03 Empowering Women in Leadership 39:04 Building Trust and Overcoming Barriers 40:21 The Journey to Self-Discovery 42:36 From Diplomacy to Entrepreneurship 43:32 The Mission of BeActChange 51:21 Advice for Feeling Stuck 56:30 Final Thoughts and Resources
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414: Does COVID-19 Make ADHD Worse?
09/13/2024
414: Does COVID-19 Make ADHD Worse?
Managing ADHD and Long COVID: Strategies for Cognitive Challenges In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, Dr. Robert Duff addresses a listener's question about the impact of COVID-19 on ADHD symptoms. The listener shares their struggles with ADHD and how contracting long COVID has exacerbated their cognitive difficulties, impacting their academic performance and daily life. Dr. Duff delves into the comorbidity of ADHD with other mental health issues, discusses research on post-COVID syndrome, and offers practical advice for seeking accommodations and support. He emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and provides steps for managing ADHD symptoms effectively. Tune in for compassionate guidance and actionable strategies to navigate ADHD in the context of long COVID. 00:00 Introduction: ADHD and COVID-19 Impact 00:33 Listener's Question: Struggles with ADHD and Long COVID 02:14 Host's Response: Acknowledging the Struggles 03:04 Understanding ADHD and Comorbidities 04:39 COVID-19's Cognitive Impact 08:16 Executive Functioning Explained 10:20 Practical Advice and Encouragement 13:21 Seeking Help and Accommodations 17:30 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
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413: Therapy Search is BROKEN w/ Colleen Marshall from Two Chairs
09/06/2024
413: Therapy Search is BROKEN w/ Colleen Marshall from Two Chairs
Revolutionizing Therapy: Colleen Marshall on Two Chairs' Matching Process In this episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, Dr. Robert Duff interviews Colleen Marshall, Chief Clinical Officer at Two Chairs, a company dedicated to improving the therapy experience through innovative matching processes and measurement-based care. They discuss the current challenges in finding a suitable therapist, the importance of therapeutic alliance, and how Two Chairs' approach significantly improves client retention rates. Colleen also shares insights into her background, the systematic changes needed in therapy cultures, and the importance of culturally responsive training. Listeners will gain a better understanding of how Two Chairs is transforming mental health care by ensuring clients find the right therapist for their specific needs and continually measure treatment progress. 00:00 The Broken Process of Finding a Therapist 01:04 Introducing Two Chairs: Revolutionizing Therapy Matching 01:52 Meet Colleen Marshall: Chief Clinical Officer at Two Chairs 02:44 Colleen's Journey in Mental Health and Innovation 06:22 The Importance of Therapeutic Alliance and Matching 10:17 How Two Chairs Ensures Effective Therapy 16:53 Challenges and Successes in Implementing Measurement-Based Care 28:56 Balancing Wellness and Specialty Training 29:23 Efficient Care and Graduation Goals 31:03 Insurance and Access to Therapy 32:04 Therapist's Role in Client Progress 33:52 Matching Clients with the Right Therapist 36:07 Navigating Therapy Models and Approaches 47:13 Two Chairs: Availability and Process 51:11 Future of Therapy and Cultural Responsiveness 53:36 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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