99. indiana jones is my father: horizontal with chosen family (2 of 4)

horizontal is Slow Radio about intimacies of all kinds. I think of it as consensual eavesdropping — we’re lying down, wearing robes, sharing secrets, in your ears.

In this, the second episode of a four-part series with those who consider themselves chosen brother and sister, I lie down with Jillian Richardson, creator of The Joy List and author of Unlonely Planet & her housemate Dennis E. Sarkozy, Lifestyle Designer and co-lead of Personal Development Nerds.

Each horizontal conversation is typically between 3 and 5 hours long. When it’s 3 hours long, it gets divided into two parts: part one is available to everyone in all the podcast places, and part two is available exclusively to my patrons. When the conversation goes for most of the night, like this one did, it gets divided into four parts: parts one and two are available to everyone, and parts three and four are available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts.

In part one of this conversation, episode 98. withhelds & unsaids, Jillian and I cleared the air after our cancelled event, I shared how I feel about Dennis, and we talked about the difference between being drawn to someone and being attracted to them, The Touch Gauntlet, safeporting, and a distinction between sensual and sexual energy. Then, I made an erotic confession. One that’s still giving me a vulnerability hangover.

In this, part two, we discuss Dennis’s creative family tree, including Indiana Jones, his communal roots, and his mother’s indomitable matriarchal strength. We discuss his biological father who preferred not to be a father, the crush in kindergarten that lead to a bit of violence with a block, and his grade school infatuation with each of the girls in his class, in turn. We discuss passing the torch, becoming the patrons and matrons and caretakers of our families. Jillian presences that she’s feeling distant, and we grapple with my intentions for making our clearing part of the recording. We discuss having a good public image, the Wounded Healer syndrome, and the brief personal essay Jillian shares at the outset of every Joy List email, which often reveals something she is actively struggling with. And then Jillian shared the story of how she induced her parents to attend a 5-day family therapy retreat. I am in awe of it.

To listen to part three, in which we get into Jillian’s household growing up, that incident with the vibrator, Dennis’s high school work as a peer-to-peer Sex Educator, his relationship with his biological brothers, the topography of our friendship lives, and how Dennis used to rely entirely on his long-term relationship to get his intimacy needs met — for access to The Full Horizontal, including part three and four of this conversation, become a patron of the horizontal arts. Be a part of my mission to make the world a more intimate place, continuing to create independent, uncensored, sex-positive work by navigating to patreon.com/horizontalwithlila

This episode was mixed and mastered by Irving Gadoury. I highly recommend him for all your audio needs, including live shows! You can hire him on IGrecording.com . My cover art was created by Shana Shay, whose character illustrations you can find on 99 designs. And my intro music was composed by Alan Markley, on Instagram as plasticcannons.

If you haven’t yet hit the subscribe button in your podcast player of choice, would you do that? It makes a difference. Thanks!

This is episode 99, and since the next episode is 100, (100! Something to celebrate!) I may have a bit of a surprise experiment coming next week… or maybe just a surprise. I'm not sure.

But until next time: May you have someone to love (I’m especially wishing that for myself right now). May you have something to do. And may you have at least one thing to look forward to. 

I’m looking forward to Samia’s wedding! Can you believe it? Samia, of episodes 59. i’m gonna fuck him forEVER and 60. consexual experiences, is getting married to a man on November 19th. The theme of her wedding is death and rebirth. She is wearing a skeleton catsuit, to the great chagrin of her mom. I can’t wait. There will be photos.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for getting horizontal.

And now, come lie down with us again in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.