113. other people’s love: horizontal with a global matchmaker (2 of 4)

Hello my horizontal lover. horizontal is the podcast about sex, love, and relationships of all kinds, recorded while lying down.

This is Season 4, my Season of Experiments. I’ll be playing with form in all sorts of ways: with coaching sessions and mash-ups and crossovers, happenings and themes and advice sessions, horizontality in unexpected places, and other intimate surprises.

In the first four episodes of this season, I (virtually) lie down with Lemarc Thomas, global matchmaker, relationship expert, sweetheart, psychology-versed purveyor of kindness, native St. Helenian, marriage equality advocate, husband to Michael, and, as he has been dubbed by The Telegraph, “the gentle but determined Cupid.”

Our first two episodes are available in all the podcast places for all my horizontalists. Parts three and four will be available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts.

Become a patron for access to The Full Horizontal by navigating directly to patreon.com/horizontalwithlila !

In our first part, episode 112. broken a few hearts, Lemarc interviewed me as if I were his newest matchmaking client. It’s a particularly revealing and tender episode for me, as I disclose my visions for a romantic relationship, struggles with belief & sexual attraction, past experiences with some of the men I’ve hurt, and some who’ve hurt me, my pattern of choosing unavailable men to love, fear of feeling suffocated, whether I’ve experienced emotional and sexual attraction at the same time, what I love about being me, and what I imagine my future partner will love about being with me.

You could use episode 112 to Think Like Your Own Matchmaker, and get closer to envisioning the core of your heart’s desire. Check the show notes on horizontalwithlila.com for the series of questions Lemarc asked me, and perhaps try journaling on them, or getting together with a beloved friend to ask them of each other. If you do so with a friend, I suggest you record it, so you can listen back and see: am I exploring love in accordance with my values.

This is the second episode of my four-part arc with Lemarc. Our experiment is my very first themed episode. I interview Lemarc all about matchmaking. We discuss:

*  the differences between traditional matchmaking and Lemarc’s modern take on the industry

*  his 4-step process

*  love coaching vs. therapy

*  being our full rainbow & sharing our crazy

*  how to not to date like a teenager

*  non-negotiables & deal-breakers

*  cultivating communities that will hold the love that we meet

*  The Matchmaking Experiment

*  becoming a matchmaker

*  how Lemarc keeps his vast network in mind, &

*  his signature love advice.

This episode was mixed and mastered by Irving Gadhoury, IGrecording.com on the interwebz. My cover art was illustrated by Shana Shay, whom you can find on 99designs. This remix of my original intro music was created by kidmental, an acapella beatbox musician, and a Black creator you can support right now.

If you’d like one-on-one guidance from me on your intimate struggles, I now offer Personal Intimacy Roadmap Sessions. They are 60-minute sessions of sex-positive, judgement-free, kink-aware, LGBTQ+ celebratory, gender-affirming support for what ails you in the realm of sex, love, & relationships of any kind. A session includes exercises, techniques, recommendations, homework, & a tailored roadmap of resources to use as you navigate the terrain of your intimacy challenge. One happy client said, “I’ve had a lot of therapy. But you give advice a therapist cannot give!”

To schedule, email [email protected], and I’ll send you my welcome form, so I can best prepare for you. If you desire ongoing support of your intimate growth, become a patron of the horizontal arts at the $100/month level and receive a 30-minute coaching session every month! To peruse all the patron tiers and sign up, navigate directly to Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila, and thank you for being a part of making the world a more intimate place.

In next week’s patrons-only episode with Lemarc, we explore his childhood as a effeminate boy growing up on one of the most remote inhabited islands in the world, belonging and outsiderness, chameleon-like behavior, and codependency.

Come lie down with us in Uluwatu, Bali, Indonesia & Stockholm, Sweden.