Libsyn Directory

The Four Trauma Responses: How Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Manifest in Financial Behaviours

Release Date: 03/31/2025

Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Feel Broke Even When You Have Money (10-Minute Daily Fix)

It's Not About The Money

Have you ever looked at your bank account and thought "this should feel like enough," yet still felt that familiar knot of anxiety in your stomach whenever money came up? You're absolutely not alone in this experience. This week, I'm diving deep into why you can feel broke even when you have money - and it has nothing to do with the actual numbers in your account. The real culprit? Your nervous system and how it's been programmed to recognise what feels "safe" around money. If you grew up hearing "we can't afford that" or witnessed your parents stress about finances, your body has been...

Breaking Money Cycles - Why Saving More Money Never Makes You Feel Safe

It's Not About The Money

In this deeply personal episode, I explore why having more money often doesn't make us feel safer, and why this isn't actually a money problem - it's a meaning problem. Drawing from my own experience of nearly losing my youngest son Thomas twice in his first five weeks of life, I reveal how our "not enough" programming around money often stems from our deepest fears about being unprepared when someone we love is at risk. Through my three-zone model of receiving, holding, and giving, I break down how these inherited money beliefs create an exhausting cycle where we work harder but can never...

Why Hustle Culture is Killing Your Success: The Long-Haul Leadership Revolution with Chris Ducker

It's Not About The Money

In this episode, I'm joined by Chris Ducker, serial entrepreneur, founder of Youpreneur, and author of the brand new book "The Long-Haul Leader." Chris shares his deeply personal journey from building multi-seven figure businesses whilst burning himself out, to being diagnosed with phase three adrenal failure, depression, and anxiety all in the same day in 2021. What emerged from that breakdown was a complete reimagining of what sustainable success looks like - moving away from hustle culture towards what he calls "long-haul leadership." We explore his Life OS framework with its four key...

Building a Business That Runs Without You with Alexis Kingsbury

It's Not About The Money

Episode Overview In this episode, I'm joined by Alexis Kingsbury, a multi-entrepreneur who started his first business at just 12 years old, yet failed with six consecutive businesses throughout school and university. After being told by a management consultant that he'd "never be able to build a team" and having his first employee quit saying his company had "no culture, no processes and no proper ways of working," Alexis has gone on to build two successful software businesses and a consulting practice serving over 600 organisations worldwide, including Google, Sony and Pepsi. Most...

From Leukemia to Financial Adviser: How Crisis Shaped My Money Story with Michelle Taylor

It's Not About The Money

Episode Overview In this episode, I'm delighted to chat with Michelle Taylor, founder of Women in Wealth and host of the "Talk Wealthy to Me" podcast, who shares her incredibly powerful and vulnerable money story. From growing up with two parents who had completely opposite approaches to money, to being diagnosed with leukaemia at 17, to finding herself unable to buy a magazine at the airport because four credit cards were declined - Michelle's journey is a masterclass in resilience and financial transformation. Her story beautifully illustrates how our early money experiences shape us, and...

How to Break Generational Money Blocks in 7 Days

It's Not About The Money

In this episode, I share a powerful story about a well-known financial celebrity who, despite decades of expertise and clear logical reasons, had been putting off the same property purchase for almost 20 years. What we discovered in our conversation reveals everything about why you might be undercharging, avoiding money conversations, or sabotaging your financial success - and it's not what you think. Through my seven-day money story discovery process, I'll show you how to uncover the hidden inherited survival strategies that have been passed down through three generations, affecting every...

Always Free - How to Become Financially Free with Jason Graystone

It's Not About The Money

In this episode, I'm delighted to chat with Jason Graystone, author of "Always Free" and investor who achieved financial freedom at just 30 years old. Jason and I actually met on a ski trip with Daniel Priestley earlier this year, and I couldn't resist having him on the show to discuss his remarkable journey from hiding behind the sofa as bailiffs knocked on the door in his childhood council estate, to building a half-million subscriber YouTube channel and living completely financially free on his West Sussex farm. We dive deep into why most people never achieve financial freedom, the...

Master Female Financial Freedom in 1 hour: Everything They Never Taught Women About Money!

It's Not About The Money

In this comprehensive masterclass episode, I share everything I learned during my 15 years working inside banks as a trained financial adviser, watching thousands of intelligent people convinced they weren't good with money. After discovering that you don't need to be rich to get started, don't need financial qualifications, and definitely don't need to love numbers to build wealth like the top 1%, I'm pulling back the curtain on the complete system that's helped thousands break free from financial stress. This is your complete guide to transforming your relationship with money - covering both...

How to Build Rich Relationships With Selena Soo

It's Not About The Money

Episode Overview In this episode, I'm delighted to chat with bestselling author and visibility expert Selena Soo about her incredible book "Rich Relationships." After following Selena's work for years and witnessing the transformative results her expertise creates, I dive deep into her revolutionary approach to building, nurturing, and activating your million-dollar network. We explore how rich relationships - those that massively enrich the quality of your life - are truly the fastest way to get from where you are to where you want to be, especially in today's economy where trust is at an...

Why You're Busy But Not Profitable (And The 3 Ways To Fix It)

It's Not About The Money

In this episode, I tackle one of the biggest challenges facing business owners today: working 50-70 hours a week but still lying awake wondering where all the money has gone. Through a real client case study and practical strategies, I reveal why being busy isn't the same as being profitable, and share the three fundamental ways to transform your hard work into actual profit that pays you properly. Chapters 00:00 The Busy vs. Profitable Paradox 02:45 Understanding Profit Confusion 06:07 Designing Your Life for Profit 09:13 The Importance of Knowing Your Financial Needs 12:06 Time...

More Episodes

Episode Overview

In this episode, I explore the often-overlooked connection between trauma responses and our financial behaviours. By examining how fight, flight, freeze and fawn manifest in our relationship with money, I uncover the deeper patterns that shape our financial decisions—often without us even realising it.

Key Highlights

Understanding Financial Trauma

Financial trauma can be passed down through generations via family stories, belief systems and behaviours
Research suggests traumatic experiences, including financial stress, can affect gene expression
Environmental factors (current economic climate, news) shape our financial behaviours and attitudes
Trauma doesn't only refer to major events—it's any experience that exceeds our capacity to cope
The key difference between stress and trauma: stress can motivate action while trauma can shut down our ability to act

The Four Trauma Responses in Money Behaviours

1. Fight Response

Characteristics: Anger, aggression, confrontation, desire for control
Financial manifestations:
- Aggressive pursuit of money at the expense of wellbeing
- Defensiveness or anger during money conversations
- High-risk investment strategies without proper research
- Confrontational behaviour around spending habits
- Competitive approach to financial status
- Resistance to accepting financial help from others

2. Flight Response

Characteristics: Avoiding responsibilities, burying head in the sand
Financial manifestations:
- Avoiding money conversations or opening bank statements
- Procrastinating on financial decisions
- Changing the subject when money comes up
- Setting up financial systems but not following through
- Overspending and impulsive shopping as emotional escape
- Ignoring financial problems until they become overwhelming

3. Freeze Response

Characteristics: Becoming stuck, rigid, unable to take action
Financial manifestations:
- Inability to make financial decisions
- Leaving money in low-interest accounts for years
- Complete inability to ask for pay rises or raise prices
- Staying stuck in financially abusive situations
- Excessive hoarding or saving from fear of insecurity
- Avoiding spending money even on necessities

4. Fawn Response

Characteristics: People-pleasing to avoid conflict or rejection
Financial manifestations:
- Undercharging for services
- Staying in unfulfilling jobs to please others
- Taking on clients who can't afford your rates
- Lending money when you can't afford to
- Paying for others at your own expense
- Prioritising others' financial needs over your own

The Brain Science Behind Money Trauma

The amygdala processes emotions like fear and anxiety during financial stress
The hippocampus affects learning, memory and cognitive processing
The prefrontal cortex impacts decision-making, planning and impulse control
Regulating the nervous system helps all these brain regions function better

Moving Forward from Financial Trauma

Awareness is the first step—simply noticing when you're in a trauma response
Put healthy financial boundaries in place
Learn to regulate your nervous system through breathwork and movement
Have compassion for these protective responses
Take small steps rather than trying to overhaul everything at once
Remember: these responses are not who you are—just patterns in your nervous system

Final Thought

Trauma responses are not who you are—they're patterns in your nervous system that developed to keep you safe. As you bring awareness to these patterns, you create space for new, more empowered financial behaviours to emerge.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Financial Trauma and Its Impact

06:09 Defining Trauma in the Context of Money

11:42 Exploring the Fight Response to Money

16:05 The Flight Response: Avoidance and Procrastination

20:26 The Freeze Response: Paralysis in Financial Decisions

24:44 Fawning: The People-Pleasing Money Response

28:09 Recognizing and Healing Trauma Responses