Breaking Your Money Ceiling: How Vulnerability Can Set You Free
Release Date: 05/12/2025
Breaking Money Cycles: When Breaking Money Cycles Means Breaking Relationships
It's Not About The Money
I lost one really deep friendship when I started changing my relationship with money - not because I became a different person or got arrogant, but because I stopped being who they needed me to be. What nobody talks about when breaking money cycles is that sometimes the people closest to you have the most invested in keeping you exactly where you are. This is the conversation I've been avoiding since we started this series because it's messy, it's painful, and it doesn't have a tidy solution. But if you've been setting boundaries and healing your relationship with money, you've probably...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Can't Stop Putting Others First With Money
It's Not About The Money
What would happen if you stopped holding all the responsibility with money? If you weren't the rescuer or the provider, the generous one - would people still value you and would you still matter? That may sound like a rather odd question, but right now there are thousands of people searching terms like "Why do I always put others first with money?" and "How do I stop feeling guilty spending money on myself?" because so many of us are trapped in what I refer to as the caretaker money cycle, where your mind and your body have literally learnt that giving money away equals safety, love, and...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Debt, Shame and Forgiveness
It's Not About The Money
If money has been feeling rather heavy for you recently, or maybe you're waking up in the middle of the night worrying about money, I want you to first of all know that you are not alone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you have debts. This episode is specifically about debt and shame, and I'm going to be sharing what happened for me when I was in £35,000 of debt - a story I've rarely told publicly because of the deep shame I carried around it for years. The truth is, debt isn't just about the numbers on a statement; it's about the weight of secrecy, the fear of judgement,...
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Breaking Money Cycles: The Real Reason You Can't Create Consistent Income (It's Not Your Marketing)
It's Not About The Money
What if next month's revenue felt as reliable as your morning coffee? As a financial expert who's helped thousands of business founders to steady their income, I can honestly tell you this: you've already done the hard part - people want what you sell. Let's make the good months stick. Feast and famine cycles aren't personal failures, and it's not even your marketing. It's a pattern that your body and your business have learnt to repeat. Today, I'm going to widen your capacity to receive money, to hold and to give, and pair it with some really simple, practical planning strategies so that...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Make Your Worst Financial Decisions When You're Overwhelmed
It's Not About The Money
Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by a money decision that you've Googled "best savings account," opened 17 tabs, read 18 articles, and ended up way more confused than when you started? Here's the trap we all fall into: when we're stressed about money, we think the answer is more information - one more podcast, one more YouTube video, one more expert opinion that will finally make it all make sense. But that information is actually making the overwhelm worse. Today, as a former financial adviser with 20 years of experience, I'm showing you what's actually happening in your brain when you try...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Hide from Your Numbers (And How to Build Financial Courage)
It's Not About The Money
I've spent the last 10 years trying to find the perfect financial management system for my business and personal finances, and here's what I've discovered: it doesn't matter which system you implement if the one thing avoiding the numbers is you. As a qualified financial advisor and somatic money expert, I can tell you with absolute certainty that financial avoidance has nothing to do with lack of financial education - it's a protection response your body has learned. When you retrain that response, money stops feeling like a threat and starts feeling like simple, neutral information. Today,...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Self-Sabotage When Things Go Well
It's Not About The Money
Have you ever achieved a major financial milestone - landed a big client, hit a revenue goal, or finally built up your savings - only to watch yourself systematically self-sabotage it within weeks? Maybe you suddenly took on underpriced work, made an impulsive expensive purchase, or created some drama that torpedoed your success. If this sounds familiar, I need you to understand something crucial: this isn't weakness, it's not a character flaw, and it's not lack of willpower. This is your nervous system literally treating financial success like a threat to your existence. Right now,...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Financial Trauma - The Hidden Cost of Being the Affordable Option
It's Not About The Money
If you've ever caught yourself saying "I don't want to price myself out of the market" or felt that familiar guilt creeping in when considering raising your prices, you're about to discover why being the affordable option is actually a financial trauma response. The hidden cost of undercharging isn't just the money you're leaving on the table - it's the cycle of resentment, exhaustion, and trauma responses that keep you trapped in patterns of unworthiness. In my book "It's Not About The Money," I explore how under-earning often starts as a trauma response where we overwork to prove ourselves,...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Feel Broke Even When You Have Money (10-Minute Daily Fix)
It's Not About The Money
Have you ever looked at your bank account and thought "this should feel like enough," yet still felt that familiar knot of anxiety in your stomach whenever money came up? You're absolutely not alone in this experience. This week, I'm diving deep into why you can feel broke even when you have money - and it has nothing to do with the actual numbers in your account. The real culprit? Your nervous system and how it's been programmed to recognise what feels "safe" around money. If you grew up hearing "we can't afford that" or witnessed your parents stress about finances, your body has been...
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Breaking Money Cycles: Why Saving More Money Never Makes You Feel Safe
It's Not About The Money
In this deeply personal episode, I explore why having more money often doesn't make us feel safer, and why this isn't actually a money problem - it's a meaning problem. Drawing from my own experience of nearly losing my youngest son Thomas twice in his first five weeks of life, I reveal how our "not enough" programming around money often stems from our deepest fears about being unprepared when someone we love is at risk. Through my three-zone model of receiving, holding, and giving, I break down how these inherited money beliefs create an exhausting cycle where we work harder but can never...
info_outlineIn this episode, I explore how financial struggles often aren't money problems at all—they're courage problems. Whether you're hiding from financial conversations, struggling to charge what you're worth, or trapped in cycles of overspending, the real solution might lie in embracing vulnerability and getting "financially naked."
Episode Highlights:
Understanding Money Ceilings
- Many people unconsciously downplay financial success due to beliefs that having too much money is greedy or unfair
- Money taboos keep us playing small with our financial goals
- Financial identity creates "set points" where exceeding certain levels feels uncomfortable
- When we exceed these set points, we experience identity disruption and unfamiliar territory
- Our brain creates these ceilings to keep us "safe" in what's familiar
The Fear of Being Exposed
- Common fears around money include questioning if we're "enough," if we "know enough," or if we've "left it too late"
- Society teaches us that vulnerability equals weakness
- We avoid seeking financial help because we don't want to be exposed as lacking knowledge
- This avoidance creates cycles of indecision and stagnation
The Nature of True Vulnerability
- Brené Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and exposure
- Personal story of choosing vulnerability at the dentist despite fear of judgment
- How making choices to be brave can break patterns of avoidance
- The powerful freedom that comes from being honest about our struggles
Four Steps to Financial Vulnerability and Bravery
1. Choose to Be Brave
- Make a conscious decision to step into courage
- Ask yourself what's most important in this moment
- Recognise when avoidance is more painful than vulnerability
2. Pull Apart the Stories We Make Up
- The brain is wired to create and connect with stories
- Notice the narratives you're telling yourself about money
- Question whether these stories are true or just comfortable
- Recognise when you're making assumptions about how others will respond
3. Acknowledge That Everyone Needs Help with Money
- Even financial experts struggle with their personal finances
- 99.9% of financial coaches have needed help with their own money
- Learning about money is a continuous journey for everyone
- You are not alone in needing guidance and support
4. Make Being Brave with Money a Decision
- Choose one area of your finances to get brave with today
- Identify what conversation you've been avoiding
- Challenge the stories you're holding onto that aren't true
The Physical Experience of Financial Courage
- Money beliefs live in our bodies, not just our minds
- Contraction around money creates physical tension
- Expansion through bravery changes our physical state
- Our capacity to expand is directly connected to our capacity to give and receive
- When we expand one area, we naturally expand everything
Final Thought
Breaking through money ceilings isn't selfish—it's necessary to create bigger, more positive impacts with your work. It requires the courage to be vulnerable, to step into uncertainty, to take risks, and to expose yourself to your deepest money desires.
Chapters
00:00 Breaking Your Money Ceiling
12:57 The Power of Vulnerability
17:44 Choosing Bravery in Financial Conversations
Resources:
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