The Invisible Money Scripts Sabotaging Your Success (And How to Rewrite Them)
Release Date: 06/23/2025
Breaking Money Cycles: When Breaking Money Cycles Means Breaking Relationships
It's Not About The Money
I lost one really deep friendship when I started changing my relationship with money - not because I became a different person or got arrogant, but because I stopped being who they needed me to be. What nobody talks about when breaking money cycles is that sometimes the people closest to you have the most invested in keeping you exactly where you are. This is the conversation I've been avoiding since we started this series because it's messy, it's painful, and it doesn't have a tidy solution. But if you've been setting boundaries and healing your relationship with money, you've probably...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Can't Stop Putting Others First With Money
It's Not About The Money
What would happen if you stopped holding all the responsibility with money? If you weren't the rescuer or the provider, the generous one - would people still value you and would you still matter? That may sound like a rather odd question, but right now there are thousands of people searching terms like "Why do I always put others first with money?" and "How do I stop feeling guilty spending money on myself?" because so many of us are trapped in what I refer to as the caretaker money cycle, where your mind and your body have literally learnt that giving money away equals safety, love, and...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Debt, Shame and Forgiveness
It's Not About The Money
If money has been feeling rather heavy for you recently, or maybe you're waking up in the middle of the night worrying about money, I want you to first of all know that you are not alone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you have debts. This episode is specifically about debt and shame, and I'm going to be sharing what happened for me when I was in £35,000 of debt - a story I've rarely told publicly because of the deep shame I carried around it for years. The truth is, debt isn't just about the numbers on a statement; it's about the weight of secrecy, the fear of judgement,...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: The Real Reason You Can't Create Consistent Income (It's Not Your Marketing)
It's Not About The Money
What if next month's revenue felt as reliable as your morning coffee? As a financial expert who's helped thousands of business founders to steady their income, I can honestly tell you this: you've already done the hard part - people want what you sell. Let's make the good months stick. Feast and famine cycles aren't personal failures, and it's not even your marketing. It's a pattern that your body and your business have learnt to repeat. Today, I'm going to widen your capacity to receive money, to hold and to give, and pair it with some really simple, practical planning strategies so that...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Make Your Worst Financial Decisions When You're Overwhelmed
It's Not About The Money
Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by a money decision that you've Googled "best savings account," opened 17 tabs, read 18 articles, and ended up way more confused than when you started? Here's the trap we all fall into: when we're stressed about money, we think the answer is more information - one more podcast, one more YouTube video, one more expert opinion that will finally make it all make sense. But that information is actually making the overwhelm worse. Today, as a former financial adviser with 20 years of experience, I'm showing you what's actually happening in your brain when you try...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Hide from Your Numbers (And How to Build Financial Courage)
It's Not About The Money
I've spent the last 10 years trying to find the perfect financial management system for my business and personal finances, and here's what I've discovered: it doesn't matter which system you implement if the one thing avoiding the numbers is you. As a qualified financial advisor and somatic money expert, I can tell you with absolute certainty that financial avoidance has nothing to do with lack of financial education - it's a protection response your body has learned. When you retrain that response, money stops feeling like a threat and starts feeling like simple, neutral information. Today,...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Self-Sabotage When Things Go Well
It's Not About The Money
Have you ever achieved a major financial milestone - landed a big client, hit a revenue goal, or finally built up your savings - only to watch yourself systematically self-sabotage it within weeks? Maybe you suddenly took on underpriced work, made an impulsive expensive purchase, or created some drama that torpedoed your success. If this sounds familiar, I need you to understand something crucial: this isn't weakness, it's not a character flaw, and it's not lack of willpower. This is your nervous system literally treating financial success like a threat to your existence. Right now,...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Financial Trauma - The Hidden Cost of Being the Affordable Option
It's Not About The Money
If you've ever caught yourself saying "I don't want to price myself out of the market" or felt that familiar guilt creeping in when considering raising your prices, you're about to discover why being the affordable option is actually a financial trauma response. The hidden cost of undercharging isn't just the money you're leaving on the table - it's the cycle of resentment, exhaustion, and trauma responses that keep you trapped in patterns of unworthiness. In my book "It's Not About The Money," I explore how under-earning often starts as a trauma response where we overwork to prove ourselves,...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Why You Feel Broke Even When You Have Money (10-Minute Daily Fix)
It's Not About The Money
Have you ever looked at your bank account and thought "this should feel like enough," yet still felt that familiar knot of anxiety in your stomach whenever money came up? You're absolutely not alone in this experience. This week, I'm diving deep into why you can feel broke even when you have money - and it has nothing to do with the actual numbers in your account. The real culprit? Your nervous system and how it's been programmed to recognise what feels "safe" around money. If you grew up hearing "we can't afford that" or witnessed your parents stress about finances, your body has been...
info_outline
Breaking Money Cycles: Why Saving More Money Never Makes You Feel Safe
It's Not About The Money
In this deeply personal episode, I explore why having more money often doesn't make us feel safer, and why this isn't actually a money problem - it's a meaning problem. Drawing from my own experience of nearly losing my youngest son Thomas twice in his first five weeks of life, I reveal how our "not enough" programming around money often stems from our deepest fears about being unprepared when someone we love is at risk. Through my three-zone model of receiving, holding, and giving, I break down how these inherited money beliefs create an exhausting cycle where we work harder but can never...
info_outlineMy Personal Financial Adviser Paradox
- How I spent years giving brilliant financial advice whilst being unable to follow it myself
- Why excess money never felt safe to hold - everything above day-to-day needs felt dangerous
- The realisation that it wasn't about willpower, knowledge, or self-control
- How inherited beliefs about money scarcity and "dirty money" from family arguments shaped my nervous system responses
Understanding Borrowed Beliefs - The Father Christmas Analogy
- Borrowed beliefs as gifts in Father Christmas's sack - given with love but not all serving us today
- How these beliefs often hold secondary gains and serve us in some way (usually safety)
- The importance of returning unused "gifts" with love and gratitude to break generational patterns
- Why changing our money relationship impacts every future generation
Where Inherited Money Scripts Come From
- Family dynamics and early childhood experiences (my Warwick Castle story about my brother losing £20)
- Religious and cultural influences on money beliefs
- Specific historical events our families lived through
- Personal money experiences that create lasting impressions
- The crucial question: "In my family, money was..."
The Three Predictable Patterns of Borrowed Beliefs
Low Receiving Pattern:
- Difficulty allowing money, opportunities, or compliments to come in
- Common beliefs: "Rich people are greedy," "Money corrupts people," "I don't deserve money"
- Shows up as: undercharging, deflecting compliments, turning down opportunities, feeling guilty about success
- My personal example of struggling with praise and awards
Low Holding Pattern:
- Brilliant at making money but terrible at keeping it
- Common beliefs: "Money disappears anyway," "Something bad happens when I have too much"
- Shows up as: impulsive spending after earning well, self-sabotage when successful, anxiety about bank balances
- Case study of my student hitting six-figure months then immediately booking lavish holidays
Low Giving Pattern:
- Fear-based hoarding rather than conscious saving
- Common beliefs: "I can't afford to be generous," "If I give, there won't be enough for me"
- Shows up as: difficulty investing in yourself, anxiety about spending on others, perpetual "rainy day" saving
The Family Money Tree Exercise
- How to map out your family's money patterns across generations
- Questions to explore: Was money talked about openly? Was it a source of arguments? Who controlled money?
- Common inherited phrases and their impacts:
- "Money doesn't grow on trees" = scarcity programming
- "Money's the root of all evil" = spiritual guilt around wealth
- "We can't afford it" = limitation mindset
- "Money doesn't buy happiness" = pacifist money story
The Generational and Cultural Context
- How survival strategies from the Great Depression or wartime still influence us today
- Different cultural approaches to wealth - celebration vs. modesty
- Gender dynamics between maternal and paternal money influences
- The historical context that made these beliefs necessary for survival
Conscious Choice and Legacy Work
- Recognising which beliefs served our families but no longer serve us
- The power shift from unconscious inheritance to conscious choice
- How this work creates transformation for coaches, therapists, and financial professionals
- The ripple effect of changing generational money patterns
Final Thought
This episode emphasises that changing our relationship with money isn't just personal work - it's legacy work that impacts every future generation. When we consciously choose which inherited beliefs to keep and which to lovingly release, we're not just transforming our own financial reality, we're changing the money story for generations to come.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Money Beliefs
02:10 The Impact of Family Money Stories
05:25 Understanding Borrowed Beliefs
08:32 Identifying Personal Money Experiences
11:57 The Blueprint of Money in Families
17:00 Patterns of Money Behavior
22:24 Mapping Your Money Tree
29:44 Choosing New Money Beliefs
Resources:
Get my FREE book 'It's Not About The Money'
Take the Money StoryTypes® Quiz
Sign up to my FREE Newsletter
Become a Certified Financial Coach
Get Investing with my course - Use code INVEST50OFF2024 for 50% off as a podcast listener.
Listen to the previous podcast episode - The Future Of Money and AI With Natalie MacNeil
Listen to the previous podcast episode - How Digital Currency Is Rewiring Our Money Mindset