Episode 151 - The Three Steps To Lessen Attachment
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
In this episode, we look at a three-step process to lessen attachment. The first step is to notice the craving mind and examine it. The craving mind focuses on its object of desire, exaggerates its good qualities, and fixates on it until it feels it can not be happy without it: it is at this stage that attachment has arisen. We might be attached to a new car, a person, being right, or an experience going the way we want it to. Our mind of attachment makes these things so desirable, imbuing them with attractiveness, and yet the attachment to them sets us up for disappointment, painful longing,...
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Episode 150 - Happiness and Attachment
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
Once Buddha was staying near the Himalayas in a place where the people were being very poorly treated by three cruel and ruthless kings. Buddha had the thought, ‘I wonder if there is a way to get the kings to treat people better and to rule wisely?’ Mara, kind of a devil figure, observed Buddha having this thought. Mara decided to try and tempt Buddha into ruling as king himself. But Buddha noticed this and said to Mara, “your teaching and my teaching are quite different.” Buddha could not be tempted by power or riches. Then Buddha explained where happiness really comes from is in...
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Episode 149 - Friendship and Buddhism
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
With stories of yogis who spent years practicing alone in isolated mountain caves, it might seem like Buddhism promotes a solitary path. But in reality, Buddha spoke many times of the importance of good friends. Friends that are a good influence on us are essential to our well-being and spiritual development. Once, Ananda said to the Buddha that good friends are half the Holy Life. Buddha replied, “No, Ananda, having good friends isn’t half of the Holy Life. Having good friends is the whole of the Holy Life.” Buddha also said, “it is better to go alone” than to have...
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Episode 148 - Mindfulness for a Happy Life
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
Mindfulness can be used to train the mind: to make the mind more peaceful and see your world differently. Mindfulness, in this way, is used to remember things we’ve learned and intend to put into practice. For example, we may have heard the teaching to gather all blame into one--our mental afflictions. We might agree that there are no external problems or enemies; our problems come from our mental afflictions, such as anger, attachment, ignorance, pride, or greed. To practice mindfulness, we could then determine to recall this wisdom when we start to get angry or upset. Mindfulness is used...
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Episode 147 - Be Grateful To Everyone
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
The practice of Lojong has the literal translation of “mind training.” The great Buddhist master Atisha taught mind training over 1,000 years ago in the form of slogans. These 59 slogans are designed to be practiced in the hustle and bustle of daily life to retrain our minds in the ways of peace, compassion, wisdom, and bodhicitta (the wish to attain enlightenment for the sake of all living beings.) In this episode, JoAnn Fox focuses on the 13th slogan, “Be grateful to everyone.” Be grateful to everyone. Who does everyone include? Grateful to those who lift us up Grateful...
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Episode 146 - Caring For Our Parents
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
The Buddha taught that certain factors strengthen the karmic results of our actions. One example is that the effects of actions we do toward certain types of people are intensified because of their special relationship to us and the benefits we receive from them. Our parents are one of these types of people, since we have received so much help from them in the past. Buddha, therefore, advised that we try to take care of our parents and cherish them as much as we can. In this episode, JoAnn Fox relates the teachings on this subject in a way that can also begin to heal our experience of our...
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Episode 145 - The Nature of The Mind
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
The word enlightenment is a translation of two Pali words that mean “awakened” and “freed from all fetters.” To become enlightened then means we wake to the true nature of reality, and we free our mind from all the shackles of the delusions, like ignorance, anger, and attachment. The basic nature of the mind is purity. No matter how troubled or deluded someone’s mind is currently, their basic nature is purity. In this episode, we try to get an understanding and an experience of the basic nature of the mind: purity, clarity, and awareness. “The deep, peaceful clarity of...
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Episode 144 - How To Turn The Other Cheek
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
Many of the great religious leaders have asked us to practice non-retaliation, to turn the other cheek, and practice nonviolence. The Buddha explained that non-retaliation is not only important for the person who harms us, but for the protection of our self. Buddha once said that if you throw burning coal at someone, you will definitely get burnt. In the same way, when we retaliate in our mind by harboring resentment, we experience that harm by drawing out the suffering we experience. If we retaliate verbally or physically, we create negative karma that will cause us to suffer again in the...
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Episode 143 - Right Thinking
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
This episode is the last of a three part series on the ten nonvirtuous actions, and the focus is on actions of mind. Actions of mind you say! Yes, actions of mind do create karma. In fact, mental actions are continuously creating our reality. Our mind can create a heaven or a hell right on earth. Our mind can also create a happy life—or at least 80% happier. Nonvirtuous actions of mind: covetousness ill will Wrong view Finding fault in what’s not at fault And seeing no fault in what is, Those who take up wrong views Go to a bad rebirth. (318) ...
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Episode 142 - Mindful Speech
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
When the Buddha explained the ten nonvirtuous actions to abandon, four are devoted to our speech. Our words are an incredibly powerful tool; they can build ourselves and others up. Or they can tear ourselves and others down. In a sentence they can destroy a relationship, friendship, or employment; such is the power of our speech. In fact, a mindfulness practice of purifying our speech is one that can change our lives completely. The Four Nonvirtous Action of Speech Lying Divisive speech Harsh speech Idle chatter 5 Factors of Right Speech: Is it true?...
info_outlineWith stories of yogis who spent years practicing alone in isolated mountain caves, it might seem like Buddhism promotes a solitary path. But in reality, Buddha spoke many times of the importance of good friends. Friends that are a good influence on us are essential to our well-being and spiritual development. Once, Ananda said to the Buddha that good friends are half the Holy Life. Buddha replied, “No, Ananda, having good friends isn’t half of the Holy Life. Having good friends is the whole of the Holy Life.”
Buddha also said, “it is better to go alone” than to have friends who negatively influence us. Because we are so easily, almost subconsciously, affected by those we spend a lot of time with, we must choose our companions carefully. In this episode, we look at how vital deep friendships are and the inner qualities of friendship.
In the Sigalaka Sutra, the Buddha named these four types of friend:
- The helpful friend:
- protects you when you are careless
- looks after your property when you are forgetful
- is a refuge when you are frightened
- when some need arises, gives you twice the wealth required
- The friend who shares one’s happiness and suffering:
- reveals their secrets to you, but guards your secrets
- would not abandon you when you are in trouble
- they would even sacrifice their life for your sake
- The friend who points out what is good:
- discourages you from doing evil or harmful things
- enjoins you in doing good things
- informs you what you have not heard
- points out the path of love and compassion
- The sympathetic friend:
- never rejoices in your misfortune
- rejoices in your good fortune
- stops those who speak poorly of you
- commends those who speak praise of you
Which of these four types of friends best describes you? What qualities of friendship could you improve? In our weekly mindfulness practice, we can engage in purposeful actions to strengthen our friendships and inner qualities.
If you find an intelligent companion,
A fellow traveler
A sage of good conduct,
You should travel together,
Delighted and mindful,
Overcoming all dangers. (328)
If you do not find an intelligent companion,
A fellow traveler
Of good conduct and wise,
Travel alone,
Like a king renouncing a conquered kingdom,
Like the elephant Matanga in the forest. (329)*
There is no companionship with a fool;
It is better to go alone.
Travel alone, at ease, doing no evil
Like the elephant Matanga in the forest. (330)
References and Links
Buddha.The Dhammapada. Translated by Gil Fronsdale. (Kindle). Shambala, Boston and London, 2011. (Link)
Wikipedia contributors. (2021, October 21). Kalyāṇa-mittatā. In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 20:38, August 14, 2022, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Kaly%C4%81%E1%B9%87a-mittat%C4%81&oldid=1051137163
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