Episode 216 - W.A.I.T. Why am I talking?
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
Release Date: 08/01/2025
Buddhism for Everyone with JoAnn Fox
Imagine feeling a burst of joy every time someone else wins. A friend gets a promotion, your sister finds love, a stranger shares good news, and you feel happiness with them. That spark of delight is the heart of sympathetic joy, or mudita, a Buddhist practice that flips the script on comparison and jeaousy. It turns the happiness of others into a source of our own happiness. It’s not magic, but it feels like it. When sympathetic joy is practiced with the bodhicitta intention to become a Buddha for the benefit of all beings, it becomes "Immeasurable Joy." Immeasurable Joy is a trained...
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We constantly make small choices that shape the reality of our relationships, whether with our partner, children, friends, or colleagues. They determine whether we deepen connection or cause resentment and distance to quietly grow. Every moment holds a fork in the road: Will I feed love, or will I feed pain? In this episode, we look the difference between love and attachment. Love is the wish that another person be happy. Attachment is the wish that they make us happy. Attachment is the habit of selfishness in relationships that causes pain. The strength of a relationship is directly...
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Longtime Buddhist Teacher, JoAnn Fox, explores five powerful Buddhist antidotes to anger and aversion: patience acceptance recognizing karma remembering impermanence seeing other people or challenges as spiritual teachers compassion Learn how to meet challenges with wisdom instead of reaction. Buddha reminds us that peace isn’t about avoiding pain; it’s about understanding it. By practicing a simple yet profound method, W.A.I.T What Am I Thinking, we begin to free ourselves from the fires of aversion and cultivate genuine calm instead. In this way, we can...
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Delusions are distorted ways of looking at things that make our mind unpeaceful and uncontrolled. Anger exaggerates someone’s faults. Attachment exaggerates someone’s good qualities. Both lead us away from reality and keep us trapped in craving or aversion. Buddha taught that what fuels delusions is inappropriate attention. When we dwell on thoughts that feed our delusions, we are engaging in "inappropriate attention." The way all delusions arise: Object + inappropriate attention = Delusion With anger, inappropriate attention might look like replaying an insult, focusing only on...
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In this episode, JoAnn Fox shares the practice of W.A.I.T.—What Am I Thinking? to help us cultivate self-compassion and retrain the often-critical voice in our minds. Through mindfulness, we can begin to notice the thoughts that shape how we treat ourselves, and choose a kinder, more beneficial way to respond. The Buddha said: All experience is preceded by mind, Led by mind, Made by mind. Our world is created by our thoughts. Every word, every action, every mood begins as a whisper in the mind. And sometimes, those whispers aren’t so kind. When we notice the...
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“The rain could turn to gold and still your thirst would not be slaked,” the Buddha said. He was pointing to the endless cycle of craving, the restless thirst that keeps us searching outside ourselves for satisfaction. Even if we were showered with gold, our longing would not end. So how do we free ourselves from this thirst? In this Fan Favorite episode, we look for the answer in understanding the connection between emptiness and craving. When Buddhism speaks of emptiness (shunyata), it doesn’t mean that nothing exists. It means that nothing exists inherently or independently....
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The Buddha said that the minds of his followers should "constantly, day and night, delight in spiritual practice." But what practice can we stitch into the fabric of ordinary days? This fan-favorite epsiode explores a spiritual thread that can run through work, family, errands, and all the passing moments that make up our lives. Cherishing others requires no shrine, no retreat, no special circumstance—only a special intention. To cherish another means we think and act on this intention, "Your happiness matters. I will work for your happiness." Whether it's the barista, a child,...
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We’re bringing back a fan favorite episode from the Buddhism for Everyone archives with an exploration of fear, anxiety, and bravery. Fearlessness is often spoken of in Buddhist teachings, but here we go beyond the idea of simply “being brave” to uncover how the Buddha understood fear itself. Together, we’ll look at what causes fear, the antidotes that dissolve it, and how we can tap into the quiet courage already within us. In Buddhism, there is a distinction between skillful fear and unskillful fear. Skillful fear can protect us. An example of skilful fear is noticing a subway train...
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Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, "Why did I just say that?" Oh, me too. But thankfully, the Buddha left us plenty of tools to transform even our speech into something sacred. In this episode, we explore an acronym I recently added to my spiritual toolbox, W.A.I.T. — Why Am I Talking? Before we speak, we can pause and ask ourselves this simple question to check our motivation. Are we trying to connect or control? Are we speaking from kindness or merely from habit? The Four Gates of Speech Another powerful filter comes directly from the Buddha. Before we speak, we can...
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This episode is a gentle return to something simple, sacred, and too often forgotten: the present moment. The only moment we ever truly have. We explore what it means to really be present. True calm arises when we're not lost in yesterday's story or tomorrow's worries but rest in the stillness of the now. JoAnn Fox, a Buddhist teacher of over twenty years, will talk about why presence is the ground of peace, the birthplace of connection, and the secret doorway to joy. Let's take a breath and be here now. They do not grieve over the past, Nor do they yearn for the future; They live only...
info_outlineHave you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, "Why did I just say that?" Oh, me too. But thankfully, the Buddha left us plenty of tools to transform even our speech into something sacred. In this episode, we explore an acronym I recently added to my spiritual toolbox, W.A.I.T. — Why Am I Talking? Before we speak, we can pause and ask ourselves this simple question to check our motivation. Are we trying to connect or control? Are we speaking from kindness or merely from habit?
The Four Gates of Speech
Another powerful filter comes directly from the Buddha. Before we speak, we can ask ourselves if our words pass through these Four Gates:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it necessary?
- Is it the right time?
The Downfalls of Speech
In the Buddhist teaching on Right Speech, the Buddha identified four types of unskillful speech that cause harm:
- Lying – intentionally deceiving
- Divisive speech – creating conflict or turning people against each other
- Harsh speech – cruel, aggressive, or hurtful words
- Idle gossip– pointless talk that distracts and wastes energy
We can gradually reduce these habits and move toward speech that uplifts, heals, and connects.
A Practice You Can Try Today
Next time you're about to speak, even just in casual conversation, take a beat and ask:
"W.A.I.T — Why am I talking?"
You might find there's wisdom in the silence. Or you might find your words come from a more beautiful place, a place of kindness, truth, and intention.
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To learn more about virtual classes with JoAnn Fox: Buddhist Study Program