Haters

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston got some blowback from a social media post this week. He asks us, "How do you deal with haters?"

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One year ago, I set a goal to paddle board across Mobile Bay. I completed that goal in May. The second part of the goal was to write about the challenge and be paid to have it printed. That was completed last week when the story was carried in Mobile Bay Magazine. I will get a small payment in a week or so. A year’s planning, researching, note-taking, exercising, preparing and lots of paddling later, the goal was entirely met. Pretty cool.

Yesterday, Mobile Bay magazine made posts about my paddle with links taking readers to the story and I received a good bit of social media attention as a result.  The vast majority of the social media comments were very positive and congratulatory. Today’s commentary is about the ones that weren’t.

No sooner had the magazine posted the story than a handful of people jumped in to denigrate my effort. Some said that my paddle across the Bay wasn’t that hard and that they could do it. Essentially, my effort wasn’t worthy of the attention I was receiving. Others said they know people who swim across the bay and that my paddle, again, wasn’t much of an accomplishment. And let me say again, the vast majority of comments were very positive, but what makes people want to attack other’s accomplishments? What triggers haters?

There’s a type of person that simply can’t let others be acknowledged without debasing their achievements. Unfortunately, they’re everywhere. They lurk in shadows waiting to leap out and knock down someone’s efforts. Is it possible to scroll through social media and NOT attack other’s success? Certainly. But some can’t. Or won’t. What is it about these people?

Remarkably, I sat this morning after reading some of these comments and began questioning if my paddle board crossing was truly that hard? Maybe they were right? Did I overblow the effort seeking some sort of vainglory? It didn’t take long for me to answer No. All aspects of this goal were a difficult challenge and when I finished crossing the Bay the pain and exhaustion I felt were very real. A superhero athlete could have done it easily. Me? It was a true struggle.

Discouragement is a powerful drug. It’s meant to stoke the ego of the pusher. And the ego, unchecked, always compares, elevates and separates. It says I’ve judged you, I’m different and I’m better. It’s the motive of the hater. I knew none of the people who tried to devalue my effort. I think none of them knew me. Anonymity is key to haters.

If there is a message here, it’s one you and I have already heard before - it’s to keep achieving. Keep making things happen. Set goals, do bold and audacious things. Let the haters try to knock you down but don’t flinch. Don’t even turn your head. Accept helpful criticism but ignore the rest. Because when they’re judging, evaluating and separating they’re dying inside due to their personal weakness. We’ll never be rid of them, but we can devalue them.  And maybe, in time, like gnats and mosquitos, they’ll go away.

I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to keep it real.