Busy Hands
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
There’s sad news at Cam’s house. Friends are reaching out to help his family through their grief. Losing a loved one is never easy and friends just want to help by doing something. ----- Busy hands surround my wife and me these days. Recent bad news has brought the need for friends to reach out and want to help us get through it. “I’m so sorry,” they say. “What can I do?” Our reply, just like most people’s is “Nothing. Thank you. We’re all set.” And they reply with, “Well, let me at least bring dinner.” The need to do something to feel helpful. The need for busy...
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Purpose
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
Cam’s been studying retirement trends for his work lately. One thing’s for sure, he’s not ready! ----- More often than not, when I ask someone who has retired in the past two years, their answer is nearly exactly the same. They say, “Well, retirement’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Why? They worked so hard for it, now they have it. So, what’s missing? My work has steered me into retirement studies. Most people think about money when they think about retirement planning, but I’m learning money is not the only thing you need to plan for. There’s more. And it’s something...
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Carnival Cruise Ship Crashed Into the Dominican Republic
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week’s Keepin’ It Real, Cam has been away lately but just got back from Spring Break with his kids. Imagine a cruise ship wrecked on a beach and they turned it into a hotel…. ----- Imagine a Carnival Cruise ship out at sea and loaded with passengers headed full speed, for the coast of the Dominican Republic and crashing ashore not far from Punta Cana. Then, rather than clean up the mess, they turn wreckage into a hotel, add a bunch more swimming pools and put loud Bose speakers everywhere, and call it the Hard Rock All-Inclusive Sodom and Gomorrah Resort and Hotel Punta Cana....
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Ant Farm
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam has learned that there are moments in time where a simple guttural sound really really matters. And they can’t accumulate because they expire quickly. All this relates back to an incomplete Christmas present. ----- I got an ant farm for Christmas. My kids laughed and they told their friends and they laughed but my family came through and on Christmas morning I opened an ant farm. It has a main chamber and two auxiliary chambers. I set it up just like the pictures showed. A few weeks ago, in March, I got the ants for my birthday. Apparently, the farm...
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AI Me?
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam has been pitched by a software company to duplicate himself. Who would want another of him? Even he questions his own worth from time to time. ----- I’ve just come from my accountant’s office where I handed all my tax information to the lady at the front desk. The manilla envelope was much lighter this year than in years past. Last week I had a long talk with an AI guy out of Houston. He said he loved to find people like me – content experts with books and videos and training programs and blogs and podcasts and such. He wants to take all content...
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Lenten Commitment
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam realizes that he really had no choice over what he gave up for Lent - it was given to him and he's not happy about it. ----- Our new puppy continues to rule the house and my life. She was trained by the breeder to urinate on a pee pad which is exactly what it sounds like – an absorbent mat for dogs to urinate on indoors. At our house, that means the carpet. She’ll trot off the hardwood floors, pass the open back door to find the Persian rug and squat and look at me with an expression of “look how good I am!” Meanwhile the whole yard in available...
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Another Tree
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam wonders what the life span of a titanium knee is and whether his father might need one or two more with the way he’s going. ----- My eighty-nine-year-old father is scheduled to get a knee replacement next week. Let me say that again - he’s eighty-nine and getting a new knee and is eager to return to his very active life when the pain subsides. He’s done this once before and wants the same results. People stop me nearly every day to ask about my father. They comment on how healthy he is and how he never slows down. This is true, though I can...
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In On the Joke
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
In a few coastal cities in the deep south, in the weeks before Lent begins, a strange behavior begins to appear. Honorable and respectable people step into a different personalities for a short time. They do it together, and it's a heck of a good time. ----- Grown people acting like fools for a few days might very well be good for the soul. I’m not sure how large groups, primarily of men, agreeing to behave silly is therapeutic, but it is. I’ll leave it to some psychologist try to explain it. As a participant, though, I assure you, it’s good stuff. Over the top costumes, over the...
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He Claims to Know
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam Marston admits that from time to time when he’s on his knees at church on Sunday he asks himself what in the world he’s doing. Has he, maybe, lost his mind. ----- The Mayan god of rain was called Cha ac. When drought hit the jungles of Central America fifteen hundred years ago, Cha ac was called upon to send rain. So, the Mayans, led by their shaman, offered a child – children, actually. The archeologists who studied Bartlett Cave in Belize say they found the bones of eighteen children in one area alone, and there were many areas. None of the children...
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It's the Ritual I Crave
Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam is coming to the end of a month of no alcohol - Dry January. February begins soon, though. And Cam's wondering whether he'll continue on or not. ----- My dry January has just a couple days left. This is the third consecutive year I’ve participated in Dry January and I’ve remembered again how much I like it. Thirty nights of good sleep. I feel like I’ve lost ten or twelve pounds. My head is clear each day. The benefits are amazing. And, just like the last two years, I wonder why I don’t do this more regularly. When my wife moved to Mobile with...
info_outlineOn this week’s Keepin It Real, there are some arrogant folks showing up in Cam’s life these days. They don't’ commiserate with Cam’s struggles. Instead, they gloat...
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This is a commentary about a specific kind of quiet arrogance. It’s in the background. But you know it when you hear it. These people are “just reporting the truth,” as they may say. It’s not truth. It’s haughty arrogance. And I’ll tell you where I’ve run up against it recently.
The first is citrus arrogance. I planted a satsuma tree in my yard many years ago and it has never produced one satsuma. I talk it. I water it. I play it Gloria Estafan. It’s leafy and broad and growing, but no fruit. When I ask gardeners, their arrogance explodes. “Oh man!” they say. “My satsuma tree is overcome with satsumas. I bag them and give them to family. Then I bag more and give them to neighbors. Then I bag more and leave them on my curb hoping someone will take them away. I can’t get close to the tree there are so many on the ground. You can probably see them from outer space. I have vitamin C poisoning. Even my dog is eating them” and on and on. “You know,” I say, “You don’t have to boast so much about your dang tree.” “Hey! I’m just reporting the truth.” “Yes. A little too loudly” is my reply. My neighbor says his Satsumas taste like Starburst Fruit Chew candy and he gets tired of eating them. Ugh.
Next are hummingbird people. “Do you have any hummingbirds yet,” they ask. “Yes,” I’ll reply. “The first one arrived a week or so ago. It’s a little female.” “Wow,” they shoot back. “I think I have fifty. Maybe a hundred. I feel like I’m in some sort of war zone with so many hummingbirds flying by my face and the sounds of their wings. You’ve heard what one bird’s wings sounds like? Imagine a hundred buzzing all over the place. It’s a roar. I added a few more feeders to allow them to spread out but they brought in more hummingbirds. I think I have two hundred now. Maybe a thousand. I can’t hardly go outside anymore. Aren’t they magical?” Yes. Like you disappearing right now would be magical. “Hey! I’m just reporting the truth,” they say. Blech.
Finally, orchid people. I have a knotty cypress stump full of holes and I want help turning it into an orchid planter. But having an orchid person in Alabama, Georgia, or Florida call me back with some advice is darn near impossible. “Ha!” I can hear them saying, “If he doesn’t know how to do that, he won’t learn it from me! Our orchid club is closed.” They can cite every orchid’s family, genus, and species articulated perfectly in Latin and they flash a look of contempt when you can’t do the same. It’s a club and they’re quick to point out that you’re not in it. And they won’t tell you how to get in and they won’t return your calls even if you leave several messages at the so called “Master Gardener Hotline.” Which is a crock. They’ll deny it of course. “We’re not arrogant,” they’ll say. “We’re not hoarding information. We’re not trying to keep you out.”
Ha. I’m just reporting the truth.
I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real.