The Story a Childless, Infertile Woman Tells
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
How to tell your story with pride when IVF failed and you are living childless after infertility. When IVF fails and motherhood did not happen, it is so easy to feel like your only option is to hide. You spent years doing everything you possibly could—fertility treatments, doctors’ appointments, lifestyle changes, endless waiting. You gave your body, your money, your heart, and your time to the dream of becoming a mom. And despite all of it, you find yourself living childless after infertility. In those moments, it can feel impossible to talk about what really happened. Maybe you...
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Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels Uncomfortable
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
When IVF fails and you’re childless after infertility, people often try to cheer you up with “at least you can…” comments. But what these comments really reveal is how uncomfortable our society is with sadness. In this episode, I share how a recent injury reminded me of that cultural reflex, why sadness is not a flaw, and how you can create room for both grief and growth as a childless woman. Plus: details on my free class September 17 and my World Childless Week panel on September 20, Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman. Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels...
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IVF Failed: Calm Your Brain and Find Peace when Childless
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
When IVF fails, your brain can feel like the enemy, spiraling with infertility triggers, constant comparison, and the grief of being childless after infertility. In this episode, you will discover why your brain reacts this way when fertility treatments do not work, and three simple practices to begin calming your mind and finding peace. Have you ever felt fine one moment, and then a single pregnancy announcement, bump photo, or piece of unsolicited advice left you spiraling? If IVF failed you and you are now childless, your brain may feel like the enemy. But the truth is, your brain is just...
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Childless Legacy – How to Create One
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Episode 181: Childless Legacy – How to Create One If you are childless after infertility, what kind of legacy are you leaving? When IVF, IUI, or years of trying to conceive did not lead to the family you dreamed of, it can feel like your story has nowhere to go. Like your legacy disappeared along with the possibility of motherhood. But what if you could create a legacy that does not depend on having a child? In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, Lana shares a deeply personal reflection on what legacy really means when you are childless not by choice. Inspired by her...
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Infertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Infertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly thought, “I’m the only one here without kids”? That sinking feeling in your body is what is known as othering. Othering happens when you are seen, or you see yourself, as separate because you do not fit a societal mold. If you are childless after infertility or your IVF journey ended without the child you dreamed of, you know how often othering can happen. You get left out of conversations, your life experiences are dismissed, or someone makes a comment that forces you to explain why you do...
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Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It If you are childless after infertility, you have probably been on both sides of the spectrum: staying silent because you do not have the words or emotional energy to talk about your journey, and then overexplaining to justify that you “did enough” to try to become a mom. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, we talk about the exhausting pressure to explain why you did not keep going with fertility treatments, adoption, or donor eggs, and how to protect your peace when people ask intrusive questions. I share a personal passage from...
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IVF Without a Pregnancy — No One Saw You Trying
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
What if the hardest part of infertility wasn’t just the treatments… but the fact that no one even knew how hard you tried? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, we’re talking about an overlooked reality: what it feels like to go through years of IVF and fertility treatments and never even get a positive pregnancy test. No bump. No loss others can see. Just you, quietly rearranging your life around the hope of motherhood… with nothing to show for it when it didn’t work. This is for you if you’re childless after infertility and have felt the sting of being dismissed,...
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Friendships When You're the Only Childless One
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
You love your friends. You’ve grown up together, lived through milestones, and shared so many memories. But now they’re raising kids, and you’re navigating life after infertility. You’re the only one in the group chat without a child, and suddenly, the conversations feel distant. Do you go and feel left out? Or do you stay home and feel even more alone? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana shares the story of reuniting with three of her closest college friends (all moms) and what it now feels like to show up to these friendships as a proud, childless woman. Years ago,...
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Infertility and the Shame, Secrecy, and Guilt That Haunts You
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
If you are a woman who is childless not by choice, you know the heartbreak of infertility does not end when treatments stop. You might still feel like shame and guilt are following you around every day. In this episode, you will hear why infertility shame and secrecy can stay with you for years after IVF or other fertility treatments. Lana shares insights from a 1998 doctoral thesis that described shame as the central emotion of infertility and explains why so little has changed in how women feel about themselves today. You will discover how guilt convinces you that infertility was your fault,...
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Childless After IVF: When the Path to Your Dreams Feels Impossible
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
If you have spent years going through fertility treatments like IVF, pouring everything into your dream of motherhood, and still found yourself without a child, you know how heavy it feels to imagine a future that could ever feel as meaningful. In this week’s episode, Lana shares a deeply personal story about standing on a piece of vacant land in Michigan, a place she and her husband dreamed of building their future home, and realizing that the path to something beautiful isn't coming without obstacles. If you’re childless after infertility, it’s so easy to believe your life will always...
info_outlineIf you’ve gone through IVF or fertility treatments and didn’t end up with the child you always dreamed of, this episode is for you.
During National Infertility Awareness Week 2025, it’s easy to feel like the spotlight is only on the stories that end in a baby. But what if yours didn’t? What if you're childless after infertility, and you’ve spent years wondering where your voice fits in?
This week, we’re finally talking about the part no one wants to say out loud:
The silence that follows when fertility treatments don’t work.
The awkward comments. The unsolicited advice. The way people try to “fix” you with adoption suggestions, miracle stories, or spiritual shortcuts.
But in this episode, you’ll hear what you’ve been longing to hear:
You are not an afterthought.
You are not a failure.
And you are not alone.
Lana shares:
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Why awareness doesn’t always mean inclusion, especially when your journey ends without a child
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How society struggles to hold space for grief that’s not “fixable”
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What it’s like to be left without resources or support when you leave your clinic for the last time
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A reading from Chapter 14 of her new book So Now What?, called “Avoiding Isolation and Strengthening Existing Connections”
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What you can do to start reconnecting with yourself and others in an authentic way without having to explain or justify your path
Whether you’ve felt misunderstood, judged, or completely invisible, this episode will help you feel grounded, seen, and empowered to move forward, even when life looks nothing like you planned.
🧡 Want to keep going beyond the podcast?
Here’s how to get support and stay connected:
➡️ Join me LIVE during National Infertility Awareness Week:
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April 28 – Infertility, Identity, and the Fight to Be Seen – So Now What? at Indiana University Northwest, 11:30 AM
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April 28 – Interview on WCPT Radio in Chicago
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May 1 – Book reading and signing at City Lit Books, 6:30 PM (Logan Square, Chicago)
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May 10 – The 4th Annual Other’s Day Brunch, a powerful gathering for women without children on the Saturday before Mother’s Day
Get all the details at: www.lanamanikowski.com/events
🎧 Ready to talk about what’s next for you?
Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call with Lana and start mapping out what your future can look like, even if it doesn’t include motherhood.
👉 Book now
📚 Haven’t read the book yet?
Download the foreword by Jody Day and Chapter 1 of So Now What?
👉 Get your preview
💬 Struggling with how to respond to awkward or hurtful comments?
Download the free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and How to Respond)
👉 Get the guide
If this episode spoke to you, please leave a review or share it with someone who needs to hear that a meaningful life is still possible, even without the children they dreamed of.
📲 Connect with Lana on Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube: