233: How to Have Better Sex (Part 3)
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What does better sex actually require once you’ve clarified your desires and started rebuilding a connection with your partner? If you want better sex in a long-term relationship, the next step isn’t simply hoping that things improve. It’s learning how to communicate, collaborate, and intentionally co-create a sexual relationship that works for both of you. In this episode, I continue our conversation about better sex by focusing on the practical realities of reconnecting sexually with a committed partner. Rather than assuming great sex should happen effortlessly, I...
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232: How to Have Better Sex (Part 2)
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What if having better sex has less to do with what you do in bed and more to do with how you show up with your partner every day? If your sex life has been unsatisfying or nonexistent for a while, it’s easy to assume the solution is something dramatic. But what if the real work starts somewhere much simpler? If you want better sex, this episode will help you understand why presence and focus are essential, even when they take effort. You’ll learn how to break out of patterns of distraction and disinterest, how to take responsibility for your role in the relationship...
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231: How to Have Better Sex (Part 1)
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What does better sex actually mean to you, and have you ever really stopped to define it for yourself? So many people say they want better sex, but when we look closer, they’re focused on specific outcomes or details without ever considering the bigger picture of what creates a genuinely satisfying sexual experience. Tune in this week to learn how to begin having better sex by examining your own desires, your mental and emotional experiences of sex, and the role your thinking plays in generating sexual desire. This is the foundation for having better sex, not just occasionally,...
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230: When Your Infidelity Situation Takes Over Your Life
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
When your infidelity situation starts to take over everything, it can feel like it’s the only thing that matters, the only thing worth thinking about, and the only thing that will determine whether you’re okay. But what if the problem isn’t just the situation itself, but how much space it’s taking up in your life? If you’ve been feeling consumed, stuck, or like your life is on hold, this episode will help you widen your lens and start making choices from a more grounded and intentional place. Join me this week as I explore what happens when you become fixated on...
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229: Radical Un-Shaming with David Bedrick
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Radical un-shaming sounds lovely in theory, but what does it actually look like when you are dealing with desires, behaviors, or parts of yourself that other people insist are unacceptable? In this episode, I’m joined by author, teacher, and counselor David Bedrick to talk about shame, morality, psychology, and the limits of a therapeutic model that divides people into victims and perpetrators, good people and bad people. Together, we explore how infidelity and other taboo experiences are so often approached through judgment rather than curiosity, and why that leaves so...
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228: Podcast Greatest Hits: When You Love Your Partner and You Still Want to Cheat
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Is it possible to deeply love your partner and still want to have sex or romantic experiences with someone else? If you’re in a committed relationship that was supposed to be monogamous, and you find yourself wanting more than that, you may feel confused, ashamed, or worried about what that says about you. You may wonder if something is wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship. In this episode, we’ll explore the reality that desire for more than one person is not inherently a problem and does not automatically mean your relationship is broken. Tune in this...
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227: Love, Sex, and Romance: What Do You Really Want?
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you been so immersed in your infidelity situation that it feels impossible to think clearly about anything else, let alone what you actually want from your love life? When emotions run high and the drama feels all-consuming, it can be hard to step back and ask bigger, more honest questions about desire, fulfillment, and the life you’re trying to build. In this episode, I invite you to take a step back from the immediacy of your infidelity situation so you can reconnect with what truly matters to you. Tune in to learn how gaining clarity about your own desires can...
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226: Recovering From a “Bad Decision”
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making a "bad decision" about your infidelity situation? Maybe you're terrified that you'll leave a good-enough marriage to pursue your affair partner, only to have that relationship fall apart. Or perhaps you're scared that any choice you make will doom you to eternal misery. Here's what I want you to know: You are never doomed by any single decision you make. In fact, I have real-time proof of this truth, and I'm sharing it with you on this episode. Tune in this week to hear why you're never doomed by any single decision or set...
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225: Drunken One-Night Stands
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
You had a drunken one-night stand while in a committed relationship, and now you're out of sorts about it. Maybe you're torturing yourself with questions like: “Do I have to tell my partner?” “What does this mean about my relationship?” “How could I have done this?” Here’s the truth. Sometimes a one-night stand is simply a reflection of the fact that humans can be attracted to multiple people, but sometimes it's a way to distract yourself from dealing with dissatisfaction in your committed relationship. Join me on this episode as I help you cut through the...
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224: Going All-In On Your Desires
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Do you want to be lying on your deathbed saying, “Oh yeah, I'm really glad I didn't take that risk”?Or would you rather say, “Thank God I went all in on my desires”? I'm asking because I just made a massive life change - I moved to Costa Rica two weeks ago. And let me tell you, it's been HARD. We've dealt with so many hurdles that within days, my spouse was ready to reevaluate. Within hours, I was asking myself “What have we done?!” But here's what I know after coaching hundreds of people through infidelity situations: The bigger your dreams are, the more likely...
info_outlineHave you ever felt proud of yourself for telling the truth… only to later wonder if you should have approached it differently?
We often think of truth-telling as an absolute good - something that's always right and beneficial. But what if I told you that, sometimes, the truth we choose to tell isn't necessarily the most important or useful truth in a situation?
This week, I share a story about how a dead rat smell in a yoga studio became the catalyst for a profound lesson about truth-telling, and how my well-intentioned truth-telling may have inadvertently created more problems than it solved.
Through this cautionary tale, you'll discover why truth isn't always the straightforward virtue we think it is. I'll show you how even those of us who consider ourselves nuanced about honesty can get caught up in truth-telling fervor, and why the most important question isn't whether to tell the truth, but which truth is most useful to tell.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/217