238: After the Affair: What Happens When You Finally Choose Yourself
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Most stories about infidelity end with heartbreak, regret, or destruction. But what if that isn't the whole story? In this episode, I'm joined by Scarlett, a longtime listener who generously shares the story of her affair, the end of her marriage, the painful aftermath of losing her affair partner, and the unexpected life she built on the other side of it all. Join us as we discuss clarity, courage, boundaries, closure, new love, and why even deeply difficult experiences can become catalysts for creating a life that feels more authentic than the one you left behind. If you've...
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237: Change Can Be (EXTREMELY) Strange
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Have you ever made a change you knew was right for you, only to wonder why it felt so unsettling? If you've found yourself grieving a life you chose to leave, questioning your identity after making a major decision, or feeling strangely untethered even though you're confident in your choice, this episode is for you. In this episode, I explore why change can feel so profoundly strange, even when it leads us exactly where we want or need to go. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: If you want my personalized attention and support, we can...
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236: Taking the Agony Out of Major Life Decisions
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What if making major life decisions didn’t have to be so agonizing? Many people assume that the bigger the decision, the more time, uncertainty, and emotional turmoil it should involve. But what if you could make major life decisions thoughtfully without turning them into an exhausting, never-ending mental ordeal? In this episode, I share the story of leaving Costa Rica and deciding where to move next, and I use that experience to illustrate a different approach to making major life decisions. Along the way, I explore why we often create unnecessary suffering around...
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235: Emotional Affairs
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What exactly is an emotional affair, and how do you know if you’re having one? Despite how often the term gets used, there is surprisingly little agreement about what an emotional affair actually is. Many people find themselves wondering whether a close connection with someone else crosses a line, only to discover that there are no universal rules that can answer that question for them. In this episode, I take a closer look at the concept of emotional affairs and why I’ve avoided discussing the topic for so long. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information...
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234: Resisting the Urge to Contact Your (Ex) Affair Partner
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What do you do when you’ve decided you don’t want to continue your affair, but you still desperately want to contact your affair partner? So many people assume that if they truly wanted the relationship to end, they wouldn’t feel the urge to reach out. But what if those urges don’t mean you made the wrong decision at all? In this episode, I talk about why learning how to tolerate the urge to contact your affair partner is very different from resisting or fighting the urge. I explain why urges to...
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233: How to Have Better Sex (Part 3)
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What does better sex actually require once you’ve clarified your desires and started rebuilding a connection with your partner? If you want better sex in a long-term relationship, the next step isn’t simply hoping that things improve. It’s learning how to communicate, collaborate, and intentionally co-create a sexual relationship that works for both of you. In this episode, I continue our conversation about better sex by focusing on the practical realities of reconnecting sexually with a committed partner. Rather than assuming great sex should happen effortlessly, I...
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232: How to Have Better Sex (Part 2)
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What if having better sex has less to do with what you do in bed and more to do with how you show up with your partner every day? If your sex life has been unsatisfying or nonexistent for a while, it’s easy to assume the solution is something dramatic. But what if the real work starts somewhere much simpler? If you want better sex, this episode will help you understand why presence and focus are essential, even when they take effort. You’ll learn how to break out of patterns of distraction and disinterest, how to take responsibility for your role in the relationship...
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231: How to Have Better Sex (Part 1)
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
What does better sex actually mean to you, and have you ever really stopped to define it for yourself? So many people say they want better sex, but when we look closer, they’re focused on specific outcomes or details without ever considering the bigger picture of what creates a genuinely satisfying sexual experience. Tune in this week to learn how to begin having better sex by examining your own desires, your mental and emotional experiences of sex, and the role your thinking plays in generating sexual desire. This is the foundation for having better sex, not just occasionally,...
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230: When Your Infidelity Situation Takes Over Your Life
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
When your infidelity situation starts to take over everything, it can feel like it’s the only thing that matters, the only thing worth thinking about, and the only thing that will determine whether you’re okay. But what if the problem isn’t just the situation itself, but how much space it’s taking up in your life? If you’ve been feeling consumed, stuck, or like your life is on hold, this episode will help you widen your lens and start making choices from a more grounded and intentional place. Join me this week as I explore what happens when you become fixated on...
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229: Radical Un-Shaming with David Bedrick
Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Radical un-shaming sounds lovely in theory, but what does it actually look like when you are dealing with desires, behaviors, or parts of yourself that other people insist are unacceptable? In this episode, I’m joined by author, teacher, and counselor David Bedrick to talk about shame, morality, psychology, and the limits of a therapeutic model that divides people into victims and perpetrators, good people and bad people. Together, we explore how infidelity and other taboo experiences are so often approached through judgment rather than curiosity, and why that leaves so...
info_outlineWhat if having better sex has less to do with what you do in bed and more to do with how you show up with your partner every day?
If your sex life has been unsatisfying or nonexistent for a while, it’s easy to assume the solution is something dramatic. But what if the real work starts somewhere much simpler?
If you want better sex, this episode will help you understand why presence and focus are essential, even when they take effort. You’ll learn how to break out of patterns of distraction and disinterest, how to take responsibility for your role in the relationship dynamic, and how to begin creating the conditions where better sex can actually become possible.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/232
If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one