#157 Five Books That Got Me Through My First 6 Months of Loss.

I had someone ask me recently what the fives books that really helped me with this last year of losing my sister. I figured this would be a good opportunity to put them in one place in the hopes that the people who need them, will find them. If you know someone who is grieving and don't know how to help them, one of these or another read delivered to their house is a wonderful way to show them they are on your mind. Friends and family sent me books during this time, and I feel that more than flowers, or candy (Aside from hand written notes because I loved those) recieving the gift of a book in the mail is so lovely. Thank you to all.

 

#1 The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and Sacred Work of Grief. Francis Weller

I know I should put my favorite in the bottom of the post, but I just can't. This book is everything to me. In my darkest moments it was a source of light. It is written so beautifully that I found myself not wanting to consume too much of it in one sitting. I would have to put it down so I could come back to it when I was feeling lousy or down. It is my top, top favorite. It got me through some of my lowest points of despair, and it speaks not just about my particular grief, but the grief the we as humans share everyday. Grief that connects each and every one of us. Everyone should read this book. Even those who haven’t lost someone. The world would be a much better and kinder place to live in.

# 2 Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age.- Bruce Feiler

This was a very interesting read. For about two years I could( and still can) feel the pressure of transition bearing down my neck. Even if my sister Nina hadn't died, I know this feeling would still be there. I think we all feel it right now. The world is a different place, and after Covid a lot of us had to rethink the way we live, what is important to us, what matters most.

If you have feelings of being lost, old patterns not serving you, wanting a higher calling, foggy, trying to get in touch with your most honest self, or truly just feel like you are ready for something different and life is leading you to that- This is a great book to grab. It solidified that the steps I was/am taking are alright and healthy. I was proud that a lot of the things I was already doing in my life were listed in the book and it helped validate those actions. I highly suggest it for anyone going through any transition, not just grief over losing someone close to you.

# 3 Set Boundaries, Find Peace- Nedra Glover Tawwab

I am about 80% through this and It is a game changer. It is for those who are ready to take a deep look at themselves and how they interact with the people in their lives. It will peel back the curtain of your healthy and unhealthy one relationships and communication. Complete rewiring of the system here. Not for the faint of heart. I learned some things about myself that I didn't know, and would like to change or shift. Be ready for some eye opening insight, and have a pen and paper handy for exercises. I suggest getting their workbook to help with this it will aid quite a bit to be able to follow along and write some things down.

#4 Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Non Violent Communication- Oren Jay Sofer

 

“THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS AND WITH OURSELVES ULTIMATELY DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES” ~ ANTHONY ROBBINS

Suggested by my therapist! Thank you Kim you are the best, and if you are reading this, I don't know what I would have done without you! AHEM. Back to the book...I bought two copies. One for me, one for Phil. We are reading this together, and it is a game changer. After loss, any loss, people may have trouble expressing their feelings. It can lead to fights, miscommunication, and a breaking down of relationships. Healthy communication is essential and it starts with YOU. Not the other way around.

This read is helping me in my own communication with myself and those I care about. It is eye opening and shows how old patterns and stuck ways that we grew up with can be hard to unravel. I will say that this book paired with the #3 Boundaries book has been extremely interesting to read for me personally. I feel like they go together really well. Prepare for that deep dive on knowing yourself. That's what brought you here, right? You can handle it ! I have faith in you! :)

#5 Comfortable with Uncertainty- Pema Chödrön

This is a work that calms me when I am feeling the weight of impermanence. When I feel lost. I love this author so much. Pema Chodron writes a lot of books, and this one isn’t so much a study read as it is a book to come back to time and time again. You can pick it up at any page at any moment of your life, and relearn or see something new for the first time.

I love it, and it is teaching me more on how to be more comfortable with the unknown. How to surrender to it and remain present and open instead of expectant or judgemental. Really hard things to swallow, but incredible to implement in every day life.

#6 The Untethered Soul- The Journey Beyond Yourself -Michael Alan Singer

Marta, I thought you said FIVE books. Nope. Sorry! I had to put this one in there. This is a gorgeous read that will make your heart open and feel more alive that you have felt in years. It is a quick read, and a lovely way to heal your deep soul. If you are looking for a gift for someone or yourself... this is it. Beautiful writing.

Notable mention to these books-

Surviving the Death of a Sibling- T. J. Wray

There aren't many works that are this specific and I like this one because it speaks directly to losing a sibling and how that differs from other losses. I read this shortly after Neen's passing and it helped not feel so alone. I was told about this book from a friend who also lost her sister. Thank you so much, Martina.

What am I currently reading?

Quit Like a Woman : The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed With Alcohol.- Holly Whitaker

Every year for a certain amount of time I give up alcohol, sugar, white flour, and most caffeine. Last year I created my 3 To Be Me Journey Course around these habits. I am taking this year to work on me more, so will not be offering that course at this time. (I am only offering one on one meetings and workshops) My goal this year is 100 days! I am three days in and feeling good. 60 pages into this book, and it is extremely informative about changing my perspective on alcohol. A really great read if you are thinking about taking a break, or giving it up entirely.

These are my favorites! What are yours? I love learning and hearing from you all about what has helped you on your path. If reading isn't your thing, grab an audiobook! I love listening to them when I take a walk.

Much love and light!

~M

 

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