Control Isn’t Strength. It’s Fear in Disguise.
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
Release Date: 01/14/2026
You’re Allowed to Feel Good (Even When Life Is Heavy)
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
You are allowed to feel good—even in moments of doubt, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, stress... And when these lower frequency emotions show up, “feeling good” is always a breath and a choice away. Follow on LinkedIn: ASK: Please share this with another leader who would benefit.
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The Powerful Benefits of Zero-Judgment Leadership
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
What if judgment is quietly costing you your steadiness, your compassion, and your leadership power? In this episode, Melissa explores what “zero judgment” can look like—toward others and toward yourself—without giving up boundaries, discernment, or standards. You’ll also be guided through a grounding breath-based drop-in to return to coherence, clarity, and self-trust. This episode explores: Why judgment often becomes self-righteousness and reduces empathy How to disapprove without judging (keep boundaries, drop superiority) The difference between selecting and judging in...
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When You Encounter Hatred: Transmuting Hate Into Something Life-Giving
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
There’s a lot of hatred in our world right now, and many mission-driven leaders feel unsure about how to meet it. In this episode, Melissa names that reality and then takes you somewhere steadier: understanding hatred as an emotion, as an energy, and as a choice—so you can meet it without wobbling, counter it with coherence, and be stronger than it. This episode explores: What hatred is made of and how it works Why hatred can intensify when there’s distance and “ideological bunkers” How “common enemy intimacy” creates counterfeit belonging Why understanding hatred matters if you...
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Failure Is a Choice: The Difference Between Temporary Defeat and Failure
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
In today’s Morning Lives, Melissa reframes success as an upward spiral — not a straight line — and invites leaders to stop interpreting “backwards” moments as failure. You’ll learn the difference between temporary defeat and failure, how to use setbacks as information and insight, and how to return to steadiness through breath and heart-focused coherence. This episode includes a guided drop-in to help the truth land in your body: your next win may be closer than you think. This episode explores: • Why real growth and success move in spirals (progress + wobble + return) • How...
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Feeling Powerless About the World Right Now? You’re Not. Here's How To Reclaim Your Power.
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
A lot of people are watching what’s happening in the world and thinking: “I’m just one person. I can’t change this. I can’t make an impact.” In today’s Morning Live, Melissa Agnes delivers the message you need to hear clearly: You are not powerless. Here’s the truth: you can’t fight fear with fear—just like you can’t fight darkness with darkness. The only thing that overcomes fear is love (love-based emotions like gratitude, joy, excitement, excitement). Not as a “nice idea,” but as a real leadership choice that changes what you create and what you amplify in...
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How to Process Your Emotions Healthily In 90 Seconds
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
Have you ever felt an emotion so intense—anger, sadness, fear, overwhelm—that it felt like it might swallow you whole? And then you judged yourself for feeling it… or tried to push it down… or got stuck replaying the story in your mind? In today’s Morning Live with Melissa Agnes, you’ll learn a simple, powerful way to process emotions healthily in real time—without suppressing them, without spiraling, and without making the emotion your identity. Melissa explores a research-based idea often attributed to Harvard-trained brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor: when we notice an...
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Possibility vs. Probability: The Leadership Reframe That Changes Everything
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
Today’s episode explores possibility vs. probability, and why mission-driven leaders can’t afford to live only by what the past suggests is “realistic.” Melissa shares a grounded leadership reframe (anchored in science, belief, and focus) and then guides a heart-centered drop-in to help you feel your mission as possible—right now—so you can lead your day with more resonance, coherence, and conviction. This episode explores: How probability thinking keeps people looping in “this is just how it is” How possibility leadership reclaims choice, agency, and meaningful change ...
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Stop Blaming, Start Understanding: Curiosity as a Leadership Superpower
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
In this episode, Melissa shares a morning leadership reminder inspired by Napoleon Hill: there is no problem without an appropriate solution, and often, the solution is found by getting curious about the circumstances that created the problem in the first place. This is not an invitation to blame. It’s a call to open curiosity and radical self-ownership—so you can access clearer thinking, deeper self-connection, and more creative solutions. The episode closes with a grounding breathwork drop-in to help you regulate and return to your calm, clear, most expansive self. This episode explores:...
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The Real Remedy for Overwhelm: Stillness
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
Overwhelm isn’t a sign you need to work harder. It’s an extreme stress state, and when it hits, your nervous system (and your clarity) can get overridden fast. In today’s episode, Melissa breaks down the common misbelief: that tackling your to-do list is the cure to feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelm can create the feeling that you’re losing control, so the mind reaches for “do more” to feel safer. But in a heightened stress state, your capacity for clear, creative, grounded decision-making can drop. The most powerful move is often the most countercultural one: step away, get...
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You Can’t Lead From Stress: Returning to Coherence
Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes
Learn the practice of choosing calm, even when the world Isn’t. When the collective feels chaotic, it’s easy to slip into stress, fear, and overwhelm. But you can’t lead from survival mode—and you don’t have to stay there. Today is your reminder: calm, clarity, and alignment are always available to you. In this Morning Live, I share a grounded truth for mission-driven leaders: fear and anxiety hijack clear thinking when we’re locked into the “brain brain.” When we return to the body, we regain access to steadiness, creativity, and wise action. We then do an extended grounding...
info_outlineControl can look like strength. But here is the hard truth we explore today: control is a tool of fear.
When a part of us does not feel safe, the ego reaches for control. Control of the outcome. Control of the timeline. Control of the situation. Control of other people. It is the mind’s attempt to create certainty so it can feel safe.
The twist is that control is also an illusion. When we lead from the need to control, we are not actually in control at all. We are in fear, and fear drives fear-based decisions.
In this episode of Morning Lives with Melissa Agnes, you will explore this truth and practice recognizing the urge to control when it shows up, then meeting what is underneath it with curiosity and compassion so you can return to steadiness.
This episode also explores a powerful lesson in empathy. When someone else is grasping for control, it often means their system is in fear and, in some deep way, does not feel safe. Recognizing that truth does not mean you condone harmful behavior. It means you can respond as a leader with more compassion, grounded authority, and a steadier presence.
As always, we end with a grounding drop-in. You will identify one thing you have been trying to control, and we will practice releasing the grip and the fear it stems from.
This episode explores
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Why control is a tool of fear
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How to recognize your need for control without shame
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The question to ask when you feel yourself tightening or grasping
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How to hold empathy when you witness control in others without condoning harm
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A grounding practice to soften, surrender, and return to safety
If this episode stirs something in you, that is welcome. Let it be information. Get curious. Ask yourself why.
Want morning reminders?
Follow Melissa Agnes on Instagram or LinkedIn (@melissaagnes) and join live every weekday at 9am Eastern. You can also DM REMEMBRANCE to get set up with text reminders before she goes live.