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MFP 378: Training Children to Master Themselves

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Release Date: 04/20/2026

MFP 402: When Empathy Becomes Wimpy show art MFP 402: When Empathy Becomes Wimpy

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

If I understand my child’s feelings but refuse to guide them toward what is good, am I fully loving them? Summary What if empathy, one of the most important tools in parenting, can sometimes keep us from loving our children well? In this episode, Mike and Alicia explore the difference between understanding a child’s feelings and allowing those feelings to guide every decision. Drawing on Scripture and the example of God’s fatherly love, they talk honestly about compassion, authority, boundaries, service, and the deep delight parents are called to have in their children. You’ll hear...

info_outline MFP 401: The Four Core Needs of Your Spouse and How to Address Them show art MFP 401: The Four Core Needs of Your Spouse and How to Address Them

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Summary Marriage does not mean you will perfectly fulfill every need your spouse has, but we are called to be a channel of God’s self-giving love. Join us for this powerful conversation with Devin Schadt author of The Marriage Gap: How to Understand, Communicate, and Meet Your Spouse's Four Deepest Needs. We explore the complementary needs of husbands and wives: security and respect, strength and beauty, closeness and physical intimacy, spiritual leadership and shared mission. Devin offers practical wisdom for expressing needs without shame, blame, or manipulation; building trust through...

info_outline MFP 400: From Rules to Responsibility, Giving Teens Freedom show art MFP 400: From Rules to Responsibility, Giving Teens Freedom

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“We have vastly overprotected our children in the real world. We have to give them more freedom.”  —Jonathan Haidt Summary How much freedom should you give your children—and how do you know when they’re ready for more? In this episode, we explore one of parenting’s challenging balancing acts: offering children room to grow while providing the guidance and security they still need. Through the relatable picture of teaching a child to swim or drive, we consider why freedom is an art, not a formula, and why every child may need something different. We will tell you some stories...

info_outline MFP 399: Motherhood - Losing Yourself or Becoming Yourself? show art MFP 399: Motherhood - Losing Yourself or Becoming Yourself?

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28 Summary Motherhood changes everything—and sometimes that transformation feels less like a beautiful makeover and more like someone rearranged your whole life while you were trying to sleep. In this honest, hopeful episode, Alicia and guest host Katie Gamboa explore the tension between self-care and sacrificial love. How do mothers give generously without running on empty? We also challenge today’s impossible expectations: work, prepare healthy meals, raise happy children, keep the house running, and...

info_outline MFP 398: Discovering Your Child’s Unique Gifts show art MFP 398: Discovering Your Child’s Unique Gifts

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6 Summary With so many sports, clubs, arts programs, school choices, and community activities available, how can parents help their children discover their gifts without letting a packed schedule take over family life? Rather than trying to produce a generically successful child, parents are invited to become students of the unique children God has entrusted to them. In this podcast, we encourage parents to give their kids room to try new things, change direction, fail, and...

info_outline MFP 397: The No-Resentment Rosary show art MFP 397: The No-Resentment Rosary

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“The Holy Rosary, by age-old tradition, has shown itself particularly effective as a prayer which brings the family together.” —St. John Paul II, Rosarium Virginis Mariae, no. 41   Summary Have you ever gathered the family to pray the Rosary—and wondered if all the fidgeting, correcting, and frustration were helping your children love prayer or simply teaching them to endure it? In this episode, we take an honest look at praying the Rosary with kids. Perseverance matters, but so do creativity, patience, and sensitivity to the needs of your particular family. The goal is not merely...

info_outline MFP 396: The Great Family Reboot show art MFP 396: The Great Family Reboot

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” - James Clear Summary Is your family running on good routines—or on lost shoes, late-night permission slips, and someone yelling, “Where is your backpack?” If summer loosened every habit in your house, this episode is your invitation to hit the family reset button. We’re talking honestly about the routines that shape family culture, whether we choose them or simply fall into them. Bedtimes, chores, prayer, screens, school mornings, and family meals don’t just organize the day; over time, they help...

info_outline MFP 395: Who Comes First? Navigating the Hard Choices of Family Life show art MFP 395: Who Comes First? Navigating the Hard Choices of Family Life

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Family life is full of competing needs, responsibilities, and relationships. And sometimes there isn't one obvious "right" answer. Summary In this listener questions episode, Mike, Alicia, and Katie tackle some of the complicated situations real families are facing: What should a mom do when her teenage son starts turning to Dad instead of her? How do you discern where your family should live? Should you move if your spouse is unhappy but your children are thriving? How do you honor your parents while putting your spouse first? They also discuss life with a large family in a small house,...

info_outline MFP 394: NFP- Love, Life, and Learning Self-Control show art MFP 394: NFP- Love, Life, and Learning Self-Control

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Catholic couples don’t discern if they should have a child, they discern if they should postpone pregnancy. These are two different conversations.    Summary This re-release of a 2015 episode presents Natural Family Planning as more than a technique: it's a way of living that contrasts sharply with a culture focused on control and convenience. We explore how modern society tends to "engineer" outcomes, even in areas like fertility, while NFP invites couples to cooperate with the natural design of the body, integrating both faith and science. This approach requires intentional...

info_outline MFP 393: Helping Kids Grow Through Hard Things show art MFP 393: Helping Kids Grow Through Hard Things

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

High expectations along with high support produces resilient kids. Summary In this episode, Mike and Alicia focus on the challenge of raising resilient kids in a culture that often prioritizes comfort and protection. They emphasize that while parents naturally shield their children from pain and failure, doing so too often can actually prevent them from developing the strength and perseverance they need in life. Instead, resilience is built when kids are allowed to express appropriate struggles, learn from mistakes, and grow through adversity with the steady support of their parents. This...

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There is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work. ~St. Josemaría Escrivá

 

Summary

How do you talk to your kids about purity without turning it into a list of rules and constant “no’s”?  Join us for this conversation with Fr. Carter Griffin about the importance of purity and self-mastery.  This episode invites parents to shift the focus to what purity says yes to: love, freedom, and a future built on integrity. We discuss why teens demand authenticity and how sharing your own striving for goodness, with discernment, builds trust instead of hypocrisy. You’ll learn how to react when your child falls and create a space for them to speak honestly without fear of shock or shame, especially when mistakes happen.  With clarity and compassion, Fr. Griffin challenges parents to invite their children into something greater than themselves, grounded in mercy at every step. The fight for purity is intense, but it is far from hopeless.

Key Takeaways

  • Teach your children what they are saying YES to, not just what they need to say NO to.  Purity is more than a list of rules, it is saying YES to your future spouse. 

  • Teens especially demand authenticity and can tell if you are being hypocritical.  With appropriate discernment, talk about your own striving for goodness and the boundaries you have set for yourself in these areas. 

  • Develop a "confessor's face".  Be prepared to not show emotion or shock when your child admits to you an area of sin or when you find out about it.  Parents need to be very aware of the trap of shame for a child caught in sexual sin. 

  • Call you children to a higher standard, but always start with mercy. 

  • Invite your children little by little into ownership of their own formation and practice of virtue.  

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • How can we model appropriate marital love and affection for our children?  

  • When and where will we start this conversation with our children about the dangers of porn and the traps that are found in our culture?  How will we continue this conversation? 

  • How can we give our children opportunities to practice self-mastery, not just blind obedience to rules? 

 

Resources