Epilogue: Emo Cafeteria
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat go to prom! Turns out it’s more cafeteria than gazebo but whatever. They invent a new type of restaurant while Edward is finally the appropriate level of sad and horny. Also there’s a lot of piss jokes. Again.
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Chapter 29: Liar Liar
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat get all armchair expert up in this hospital room. They analyze everything from why Edward is such a dirty little liar to why Edward is such a dirty little liar. Meanwhile Edward is still sad and still a dirty little liar.
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Chapter 28: Done with that, I went back to brooding
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat are very emotional about very silly things. Renee hate is officially made canon and James has a no good very bad video shoot. Edward is brooding and horny.
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Chapter 27: All Cullens Are Bastards
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat pivot into true crime podcasting thanks to Alice. Make sure to stick around to the end to get an exclusive glimpse of the ‘after show’. It’s not worth it. Edward is sad, horny, and doesn’t have a headache.
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Chapter 26: Blink Twice and You Miss It
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat spend most of the chapter complaining about Stephanie Meyer’s writing. You knew we’d get here eventually, we knew we’d get here eventually, it was simply a matter of time. Edward is sad and horny and doesn’t monologue enough
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Chapter 25: Kat's Dad Is A Slut
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat are fast and furiously racing to the end of our story!! They watch in horror as Emmett definitely doesn’t kill a bunch of people and in even more horror as Edward remembers the Volturi exist. Jenna also shares her favorite conspiracy theory. Edward is sad, horny, and in a hoodie.
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Chapter 24: Plane Plans
Midnight Sunburn
Join Jenna & Kat on a high octane action packed chapter! There’s platforming, puzzles, and most surprisingly of all a new found respect for K Stew. Also Esme calls to tell us about her day. Edward is sad and horny for all these planes, trains and automobiles.
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Chapter 23: Frozen Thoughts
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat are back and ready for a new year where all the Cullens act like they’re in an 80’s movie. We learn about Edward’s favorite spot in Bella’s car and Jasper’s surprising new backstory. Edward is sad and horny about the Charlie Fight (tm)
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Chapter 22: This chapter exists
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat go off script and it feels SO GOOD! They joke about vore more often than they realize and find Jasper incredibly boring for some reason. Kat is increasingly nostalgic for Mike Newton. Edward is toe tappingly horny.
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Chapter 21: Baseball is racist
Midnight Sunburn
This week Jenna & Kat aren’t eating anything and they’re so happy about it! They discuss lemonade caps, vampire slapstick and an upsetting amount of baseball. Edward is sad and horny but that doesn’t stop him from dancing.
info_outlineThis week Jenna & Kat take a leisurely drive home from the meadow situation and discuss lemonade cap evacuations, character backstories and whether or not god made vampires. Edward is finally happy AND horny - but not horny enough for Jenna...
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