Midnight Sunburn

A chapter by chapter analysis of Stephenie Meyers new novel Midnight Sun, by comedians Jenna Vesper and Kat Buckley.

Epilogue: Emo Cafeteria 02/22/2021

Epilogue: Emo Cafeteria This week Jenna & Kat go to prom! Turns out it’s more cafeteria than gazebo but whatever. They invent a new type of restaurant while Edward is finally the appropriate level of sad and horny. Also there’s a lot of piss jokes. Again. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/18035585

Chapter 29: Liar Liar 02/15/2021

Chapter 29: Liar Liar This week Jenna & Kat get all armchair expert up in this hospital room. They analyze everything from why Edward is such a dirty little liar to why Edward is such a dirty little liar. Meanwhile Edward is still sad and still a dirty little liar. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17934389

Chapter 28: Done with that, I went back to brooding 02/08/2021

Chapter 28: Done with that, I went back to brooding This week Jenna & Kat are very emotional about very silly things. Renee hate is officially made canon and James has a no good very bad video shoot. Edward is brooding and horny. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17861303

Chapter 27: All Cullens Are Bastards 02/01/2021

Chapter 27: All Cullens Are Bastards This week Jenna & Kat pivot into true crime podcasting thanks to Alice. Make sure to stick around to the end to get an exclusive glimpse of the ‘after show’. It’s not worth it. Edward is sad, horny, and doesn’t have a headache. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17747516

Chapter 26: Blink Twice and You Miss It 01/25/2021

Chapter 26: Blink Twice and You Miss It This week Jenna & Kat spend most of the chapter complaining about Stephanie Meyer’s writing. You knew we’d get here eventually, we knew we’d get here eventually, it was simply a matter of time. Edward is sad and horny and doesn’t monologue enough /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17656808

Chapter 25: Kat's Dad Is A Slut 01/18/2021

Chapter 25: Kat's Dad Is A Slut This week Jenna & Kat are fast and furiously racing to the end of our story!! They watch in horror as Emmett definitely doesn’t kill a bunch of people and in even more horror as Edward remembers the Volturi exist. Jenna also shares her favorite conspiracy theory. Edward is sad, horny, and in a hoodie. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17570375

Chapter 24: Plane Plans 01/11/2021

Chapter 24: Plane Plans Join Jenna & Kat on a high octane action packed chapter! There’s platforming, puzzles, and most surprisingly of all a new found respect for K Stew. Also Esme calls to tell us about her day. Edward is sad and horny for all these planes, trains and automobiles. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17478455

Chapter 23: Frozen Thoughts 01/04/2021

Chapter 23: Frozen Thoughts This week Jenna & Kat are back and ready for a new year where all the Cullens act like they’re in an 80’s movie. We learn about Edward’s favorite spot in Bella’s car and Jasper’s surprising new backstory. Edward is sad and horny about the Charlie Fight (tm) /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17411171

Chapter 22: This chapter exists 12/21/2020

Chapter 22: This chapter exists This week Jenna & Kat go off script and it feels SO GOOD! They joke about vore more often than they realize and find Jasper incredibly boring for some reason. Kat is increasingly nostalgic for Mike Newton. Edward is toe tappingly horny. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17262923

Chapter 21: Baseball is racist 12/14/2020

Chapter 21: Baseball is racist This week Jenna & Kat aren’t eating anything and they’re so happy about it! They discuss lemonade caps, vampire slapstick and an upsetting amount of baseball. Edward is sad and horny but that doesn’t stop him from dancing. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17175602

Chapter 20: The one where we are not okay 12/07/2020

Chapter 20: The one where we are not okay This week Jenna & Kat spend the first part of the episode taste testing the candy corn Thanksgiving dinner set and content warning: it’s terrible. There’s mouth sounds, but it’s funny don’t worry. There’s also some Midnight Sun content, or something? Edward is happy and horny, like Jasper apparently. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/17078615

Chapter 19: Piss is thicker than blood 11/30/2020

Chapter 19: Piss is thicker than blood This week Jenna & Kat are silly and they know it. They learn more about vampire anatomy than anyone ever thought possible, and that’s surprisingly not a dick joke. They also do their best Austin Powers impressions, again. Edward is happy, horny, and disappointed in them. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16994399

Chapter 18: Too horny to drive 11/23/2020

Chapter 18: Too horny to drive This week Jenna & Kat take a leisurely drive home from the meadow situation and discuss lemonade cap evacuations, character backstories and whether or not god made vampires. Edward is finally happy AND horny - but not horny enough for Jenna... /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16915496

Chapter 17: Never Been Kissed 11/16/2020

Chapter 17: Never Been Kissed This week Jenna & Kat literally can not handle the meadow situation. We can’t. After all this time...It’s here, it’s happening and there are at least 24 pages devoted to his emotions. Edward is horny, sad, and sparkles in a way we can finally understand. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16764596

Chapter 16: Ma'am this is a Meadow 11/09/2020

Chapter 16: Ma'am this is a Meadow This week Jenna & Kat have standing desk energy! It’s election night and we deserve a little meadow, as a treat. Edward is still sad and horny but now he’s wearing a sleeveless button down shirt. Apparently. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16731272

Chapter 15: That's so Alice! 11/02/2020

Chapter 15: That's so Alice! This week Jenna & Kat prepare their bodies for ‘Sparkle Crisis 2005’, which is totally not a metaphor for election night. Daddy Carlisle is here and surprise he’s actually William Dafoe from the Lighthouse. Edward is still sad, scared, and (s)horny. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16639976

Chapter 14: Toxic 10/26/2020

Chapter 14: Toxic This week Jenna & Kat discuss the micro-managed sex lives of Alice and Jasper, prepare their bodies for the meadow situation and present their newest monstrosity: the Midnight Sunburn Fanmix. And don’t worry, it’s totally got ‘Faith’ by Fred Durst. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16541075

Chapter 13: Hybrid Theory 10/19/2020

Chapter 13: Hybrid Theory This week Jenna & Kat learn EVERYTHING about Bella’s favorite intellectual properties! Jenna reveals she is a literal monster - but don’t worry, she’s doing it all for the ****. Edward is still horny but less sad about it. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16448120

Chapter 12: The Ben Chronicles 10/12/2020

Chapter 12: The Ben Chronicles This week Jenna and Kat are sitting on the floor which can only mean one thing: another weird episode! They try to recount a rather boring chapter and contemplate the pros and cons of cold meat. Edward is more horny than sad. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16364264

Chapter 11: Spoiler Monkey 10/05/2020

Chapter 11: Spoiler Monkey This week Jenna and Kat listen in as Edward listens in to everyone’s thoughts about Bella. They theorize on the lemonade cap’s final resting place and address the Lanny in the room. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16265747

Chapter 10: Wanna join a cult? 09/28/2020

Chapter 10: Wanna join a cult? This week Jenna & Kat learn which superpower is the horniest and how to almost murder someone. But don’t worry, Lanny’s like totally fine. Edward and his lemonade cap are still sad and horny. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16177022

Chapter 9: Who Needs a White Man? 09/21/2020

Chapter 9: Who Needs a White Man? This week Jenna & Kat mourn the state of the world and Kat’s inability to say names. We finally learn the true meaning of the pomegranate and vow to make a candy corn dildo. Don’t worry, they’re unrelated. We are all sad and horny. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/16082996

Chapter 8: Horse Girl 09/14/2020

Chapter 8: Horse Girl This week Jenna & Kat support our boy Edward as he uproots a tree when Mike Newton touches Bella’s hair. That’s Edward’s job, damn it. Stephenie asks ‘what if vampires also played football’ and never shows us. Edward is still sad and horny. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15997508

Chapter 7: Reporting LIVE from Forks! 09/07/2020

Chapter 7: Reporting LIVE from Forks! This week Jenna & Kat are recording from Forks WA! Jenna nearly breaks her ankle twerking next to Bella’s truck and a lovely time was had by all, except the locals. Edward is still sad and horny and not inside any of the Volvos we broke into. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15910826

Chapter 6: Coffee Makes You Gay 09/04/2020

Chapter 6: Coffee Makes You Gay This week Jenna & Kat….hey, how are you? My hands are starting to hurt from typing all these out and it’s a little lonely. I’ve got this lemonade cap I keep smelling but it’s just not the same. Do you think we could play Quiplash on Zoom later this week? /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15882203

Chapter 5: Slider? I Barely Know Her! 08/31/2020

Chapter 5: Slider? I Barely Know Her! This week Jenna & Kat and Edward talk a lot of shit about Mike Newton. I mean he totally deserves it though, always trying to unlock her secrets and all. Edward is still sad and horny but now he occasionally rocks with laughter. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15810095

Chapter 4: I'm a Gamer Now 08/24/2020

Chapter 4: I'm a Gamer Now This week Jenna & Kat are drunk. They reach out to Red Robin and Big Gravel for sponsorships to no avail. Frankly I don’t remember this episode too much, but it's a good one, trust me. Edward is still sad and horny. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15717653

Chapter 3: I'm So Horny and I'm So Scared 08/17/2020

Chapter 3: I'm So Horny and I'm So Scared This week Jenna & Kat invent the best selling Kink Wall (™) for keeping track of all your Horny Sad Boy’s various kinky interests. Patent Pending. Also, if vampires do drugs are they just like that now? /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15636326

Chapter 2: I Like the Girl with Brown Hair 08/10/2020

Chapter 2: I Like the Girl with Brown Hair This week Jenna & Kat discuss this hot, wet, pulsing chapter. At least that’s what my notes say. We take a brief I, Tonya break in Alaska and are then back to Forks where Edward is still sad, but horny. Like a horny kinda sad. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15541856

Chapter 1: I'm So Excited 08/06/2020

Chapter 1: I'm So Excited This week Jenna & Kat figure out if Midnight Sun is hot, or just tall. Spoiler alert - it’s horny! Edward is sad. /episode/index/show/midnightsunburn/id/15504674

Midnight Sunburn

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