Unlocking Motivation in Neurodivergent Children (reprise)
Release Date: 12/31/2025
Neurodiversity Podcast
When creating policies and environments for neurodivergent students, schools frequently rely on outward observations, behavioral data, and the opinions of non-autistic professionals. But this approach often misses the most critical perspective of all: the lived, internal experience of autistic individuals. Today, Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes David Rivera, an autistic self-advocate, UC Berkeley student, and founder of the nonprofit organization Mentoring Autistic Minds, and they talk about why autistic adults must be recognized as a primary epistemic resource in the fight for educational...
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When a student or child is dysregulated, adults often focus entirely on finding the right words to say or the appropriate consequence to give. But what if the most critical factor in that interaction isn't the consequence itself, but the energy of the adult delivering it? Dr. Lori Desautels, an educator, researcher, and professor of applied educational neuroscience at Butler University, joins the podcast to reframe how we approach discipline, emotional regulation, and transitions. Her latest manual, Body and Brain Brilliance, emphasizes that true support, whether in a classroom or a living...
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How often do we label someone "unmotivated" or "defiant" when they fail to start a task? What if the barrier isn't a lack of will, but an inability to simulate the future? Sarah Ward, a speech-language pathologist and co-director of Cognitive Connections, joins Emily to redefine how we conceptualize executive function. Sarah moves the conversation beyond the ability to get things done and instead frames it as a complex mental simulation. They discuss the "time horizon" and why students with ADHD often experience time blindness not as a lack of awareness, but as a developmentally delayed...
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Interoception plays a pivotal role in how all people perceive and engage with their bodies and the world around them. For neurodivergent people, the differences we experience in interoception can have a bigger effect than we might expect. From the very sensation of 'feeling our feelings,' to the day-to-day experiences and potential supports for those with variations in their interoceptive system, we dig into the subject with Dr. Kelly Mahler, an occupational therapist and professor at Elizabethtown University. How well do we truly understand interoception, and how does it influence those who...
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In this episode, Emily sits down with Dr. Danika Maddocks to deconstruct why conventional parenting advice - like reward charts and strict consequences - often backfires for gifted and twice-exceptional (2E) children. They explore the concept of capacity, the intense drive for autonomy inherent in bright minds, and how to pivot from power struggles to collaborative problem-solving. Whether you are navigating demand avoidance or simply trying to survive the bedtime routine, this evidence-based conversation offers a permission slip to parent the child in front of you, not the one described in...
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Why is inattentive ADHD so often missed, especially in girls? In this episode, Emily Kircher-Morris is joined by Cynthia Hammer, author of Living with Inattentive ADHD and founder of the Inattentive ADHD Coalition. Cynthia shares her personal journey of being diagnosed at age 49 and her late-life mission to ensure the next generation of girls doesn't have to wait decades for answers. The two discuss the subtle clues of inattentiveness, the overlap between ADHD and autism, and how perfectionism often serves as a high-stakes masking strategy that leads to adult burnout. They also talk about the...
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This week, Emily welcomes Kyrus Keenan Westcott, the creator behind The Vibe with Ky. Ky is an ADHD/neurodiversity advocate, host, and theatrical director who uses his massive platform to validate the neurodivergent experience with humor and radical honesty. In this episode, Ky opens up about his ADHD diagnosis at age 34 and the subsequent journey through anger, mourning, and eventual acceptance. They talk about the fluctuating capacity of the ADHD brain, why we can build a website in a day but struggle to get off the couch the next, and why the Western 9-to-5 ideology often fails...
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Why does friendship feel like an intuitive gift for some, but a complex, manual process for others? This week, Emily Kircher-Morris sits down with social-emotional learning expert Caroline Maguire, author of the award-winning Why Will No One Play With Me? and the upcoming Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults. The conversation dismantles the harmful narrative that connection should happen organically, reframing social struggles not as character flaws, but as understandable skill gaps influenced by executive dysfunction and past trauma. They talk about the concept of "Middle School...
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In this episode, Emily sits down with education leader, school founder, and author Chris Balme to completely reframe how we view the middle school years. Rather than treating early adolescence as a miserable phase to simply muddle through, it's a period of profound neurological transformation and peak human potential. Redesigning educational environments for neurodivergent students, by prioritizing smaller, consistent advisory cohorts and scaffolding executive function, creates a safer, more engaging culture for everyone. Other topics include the activation of the "social brain," why a...
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This week, Emily sits down with advisory teacher Rebecca Duffus, and neurodiversity advocate Lyric Rivera, to discuss the critical shift from viewing autism as a purely medical diagnosis to embracing it as a core identity. Lyric shares their personal journey of late discovery and the complex emotions that accompany it, from grief to validation. Rebecca provides some insight into the importance of authentic, affirming language. They also discuss how to empower autistic youth to advocate for their needs, navigate a world that isn't always accommodating, and ultimately discover the power of being...
info_outlineEmily Kircher-Morris chats today with Diane Dempster and Elaine Taylor-Klaus from Impact Parents, hosts of the Parenting with Impact podcast. They talk about the challenge of motivating neurodivergent kids, and break down why it’s so challenging. The chat includes a framework called PINCH, a way to remember and think about important elements of motivation. You’ll come away with practical strategies for parents to foster a supportive environment that encourages engagement, and ways to move away from fear and stress as motivators.
TAKEAWAYS
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Traditional parenting advice often doesn't apply to neurodivergent kids.
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Motivation can be misunderstood; it's not always lack of interest.
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Executive functioning skills play a crucial role in motivation.
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Dopamine is essential for engaging in non-preferred tasks.
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Waiting until the last minute can be a legitimate strategy for motivation.
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Fear-based parenting creates stress and is not sustainable.
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Intrinsic motivation develops later in life, especially for neurodivergent individuals.
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The PINCH framework helps identify different motivators for kids.
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Novelty keeps the brain engaged and interested.
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Competition can motivate but may also cause anxiety in some children.
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Collaboration and connection with peers can enhance motivation.
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Parents should experiment with different motivational strategies.
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Transparency and vulnerability in parenting can build trust.
If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.
Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster co-founded ImpactParents.com in 2011 because traditional parenting advice wasn’t working for their complex kids and they found no training or coaching available designed specifically to support them as parents of complex kids.
Internationally recognized as leading parent educators, they use a coach-approach to help parents reduce the stress of raising children, teens, and young adults with ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, LD and more. They’re the creators of Sanity School® behavior training, and the authors of many books including Parenting ADHD Now: Easy Intervention Strategies to Empower Kids with ADHD and The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety and More.
BACKGROUND READING
Impact Parents website, Parenting with Impact podcast, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter/X, LinkedIn
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