Connection Before Correction: Autism Understanding & Support
Release Date: 01/22/2026
From Special Ed to Law School: Redefining Autistic Potential
Neurodiversity Podcast
When creating policies and environments for neurodivergent students, schools frequently rely on outward observations, behavioral data, and the opinions of non-autistic professionals. But this approach often misses the most critical perspective of all: the lived, internal experience of autistic individuals. Today, Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes David Rivera, an autistic self-advocate, UC Berkeley student, and founder of the nonprofit organization Mentoring Autistic Minds, and they talk about why autistic adults must be recognized as a primary epistemic resource in the fight for educational...
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The Secret Ingredients for Emotional Regulation
Neurodiversity Podcast
When a student or child is dysregulated, adults often focus entirely on finding the right words to say or the appropriate consequence to give. But what if the most critical factor in that interaction isn't the consequence itself, but the energy of the adult delivering it? Dr. Lori Desautels, an educator, researcher, and professor of applied educational neuroscience at Butler University, joins the podcast to reframe how we approach discipline, emotional regulation, and transitions. Her latest manual, Body and Brain Brilliance, emphasizes that true support, whether in a classroom or a living...
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Beyond Motivation: Why We Struggle to Start
Neurodiversity Podcast
How often do we label someone "unmotivated" or "defiant" when they fail to start a task? What if the barrier isn't a lack of will, but an inability to simulate the future? Sarah Ward, a speech-language pathologist and co-director of Cognitive Connections, joins Emily to redefine how we conceptualize executive function. Sarah moves the conversation beyond the ability to get things done and instead frames it as a complex mental simulation. They discuss the "time horizon" and why students with ADHD often experience time blindness not as a lack of awareness, but as a developmentally delayed...
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Interoception Is a Sense Few Understand
Neurodiversity Podcast
Interoception plays a pivotal role in how all people perceive and engage with their bodies and the world around them. For neurodivergent people, the differences we experience in interoception can have a bigger effect than we might expect. From the very sensation of 'feeling our feelings,' to the day-to-day experiences and potential supports for those with variations in their interoceptive system, we dig into the subject with Dr. Kelly Mahler, an occupational therapist and professor at Elizabethtown University. How well do we truly understand interoception, and how does it influence those who...
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Why Conventional Parenting Fails 2E Kids
Neurodiversity Podcast
In this episode, Emily sits down with Dr. Danika Maddocks to deconstruct why conventional parenting advice - like reward charts and strict consequences - often backfires for gifted and twice-exceptional (2E) children. They explore the concept of capacity, the intense drive for autonomy inherent in bright minds, and how to pivot from power struggles to collaborative problem-solving. Whether you are navigating demand avoidance or simply trying to survive the bedtime routine, this evidence-based conversation offers a permission slip to parent the child in front of you, not the one described in...
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The Lost Girls of ADHD: Inattentive in Girls and Women
Neurodiversity Podcast
Why is inattentive ADHD so often missed, especially in girls? In this episode, Emily Kircher-Morris is joined by Cynthia Hammer, author of Living with Inattentive ADHD and founder of the Inattentive ADHD Coalition. Cynthia shares her personal journey of being diagnosed at age 49 and her late-life mission to ensure the next generation of girls doesn't have to wait decades for answers. The two discuss the subtle clues of inattentiveness, the overlap between ADHD and autism, and how perfectionism often serves as a high-stakes masking strategy that leads to adult burnout. They also talk about the...
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Radical Self-Grace: Accepting the Brain You Have
Neurodiversity Podcast
This week, Emily welcomes Kyrus Keenan Westcott, the creator behind The Vibe with Ky. Ky is an ADHD/neurodiversity advocate, host, and theatrical director who uses his massive platform to validate the neurodivergent experience with humor and radical honesty. In this episode, Ky opens up about his ADHD diagnosis at age 34 and the subsequent journey through anger, mourning, and eventual acceptance. They talk about the fluctuating capacity of the ADHD brain, why we can build a website in a day but struggle to get off the couch the next, and why the Western 9-to-5 ideology often fails...
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The Friendship Playbook: Building Connection on Your Own Terms
Neurodiversity Podcast
Why does friendship feel like an intuitive gift for some, but a complex, manual process for others? This week, Emily Kircher-Morris sits down with social-emotional learning expert Caroline Maguire, author of the award-winning Why Will No One Play With Me? and the upcoming Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults. The conversation dismantles the harmful narrative that connection should happen organically, reframing social struggles not as character flaws, but as understandable skill gaps influenced by executive dysfunction and past trauma. They talk about the concept of "Middle School...
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Belonging Before Achievement: Redesigning Middle School for Neurodivergent Minds
Neurodiversity Podcast
In this episode, Emily sits down with education leader, school founder, and author Chris Balme to completely reframe how we view the middle school years. Rather than treating early adolescence as a miserable phase to simply muddle through, it's a period of profound neurological transformation and peak human potential. Redesigning educational environments for neurodivergent students, by prioritizing smaller, consistent advisory cohorts and scaffolding executive function, creates a safer, more engaging culture for everyone. Other topics include the activation of the "social brain," why a...
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Accepting and Embracing Your Autistic Self
Neurodiversity Podcast
This week, Emily sits down with advisory teacher Rebecca Duffus, and neurodiversity advocate Lyric Rivera, to discuss the critical shift from viewing autism as a purely medical diagnosis to embracing it as a core identity. Lyric shares their personal journey of late discovery and the complex emotions that accompany it, from grief to validation. Rebecca provides some insight into the importance of authentic, affirming language. They also discuss how to empower autistic youth to advocate for their needs, navigate a world that isn't always accommodating, and ultimately discover the power of being...
info_outlineDavid Smith spent years working as a therapist specializing in neurodiversity-affirming care, but it wasn’t until age 56, prompted by his wife and his own clients, that he sought his own autism diagnosis. That confirmation fundamentally shifted his clinical approach from that of a white-coated expert to a fellow traveler, deepening the way he accompanies families through unmapped territory.
Today, Emily and David discuss the delicate balance between professional curiosity and humility, and why traditional therapeutic models often fail to support the fragile nervous systems of neurodivergent clients. They talk about the nuances of demand avoidance, specifically the high-masking, internalized presentation that often looks like perfectionism, and why "connection before correction" is a neurological necessity, not just a catchy phrase.
TAKEAWAYS
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Effective therapy for neurodivergent clients often requires shifting away from the traditional expert hierarchy.
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The neurodivergent brain is a "complicated, custom-made car with no user’s manual."
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For neurodivergent nervous systems, stress isn't just negative trauma; it includes any destabilizing experience, including excitement and joy.
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While we often associate PDA with external defiance, the internalized profile often manifests as high-achieving perfectionism.
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Rewards and consequences often backfire with neurodivergent children because they increase anxiety.
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It's ineffective to offer a correction to a child until you have connected with them.
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There is a massive overlap between complex trauma and neurodivergence.
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A late diagnosis doesn't instantly fix struggles; it initiates a complex grieving and reframing process.
Join our live CE training, Adapting Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Autistic and ADHD Pediatric Clients, Friday morning, January 23, at 10:30 eastern/7:30 pacific, or get the recorded version anytime after. Get signed up or learn more here.
David Smith, LCSW is a late-diagnosed autistic therapist and licensed clinical social worker specializing in neurodiversity-affirming care for autistic and otherwise neurodivergent individuals and their families. Practicing since 2017, David opened his private telehealth practice in 2023 and now serves clients across five states from his home in southern Oregon. In addition to therapy, he offers consultation, writing, education, and advocacy to expand access to effective, affirming support for the neurodivergent community.
Diagnosed with autism in 2024 at age 56 (thanks in part to gentle nudges from his wife and clients) David continues to explore how his autistic identity shapes both his personal and professional life. His work is deeply rooted in curiosity, humility, and a commitment to learning from his clients and the broader neurodivergent community. He is also a devoted listener of this and other neurodivergence-focused podcasts. David lives with his wife, a fellow therapist originally from Peru, and is the proud father of three sons.
BACKGROUND READING
David’s website, LinkedIn, authored articles
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If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.