Connection Before Correction: Autism Understanding & Support
Release Date: 01/22/2026
Understanding Yourself: A Process to Finding the Person Inside
Neurodiversity Podcast
Today's episode is a heartfelt conversation about the importance of helping neurodivergent children understand themselves and their brain profile, and how this understanding can foster confidence and self-advocacy. Emily talks with Dr. Liz Angoff about the need for transparent communication with children about their diagnoses, and the use of relatable metaphors to explain complex concepts. They discuss collaborative approaches in assessments, the challenges of co-occurring diagnoses, and the role of parents in supporting their children. How can families find practitioners who align with...
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The Wall of Awful: Why Starting Feels Impossible
Neurodiversity Podcast
When people with ADHD struggle to start, return to, or finish a task, their inaction is frequently mislabeled as laziness, poor motivation, or chronic procrastination. In reality, the obstacle is rarely about logistics or effort. It stems from the emotional pre-work required just to get to the starting line. Brendan Mahan, an ADHD coach, speaker, host of the ADHD Essentials podcast, and author of Overcoming the Wall of Awful, joins Emily to talk about the emotional barriers that turn ordinary demands into overwhelming roadblocks. TAKEAWAYS Task paralysis is driven primarily by emotional...
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The Asynchrony Paradox: Why Capable Kids Struggle with the Basics
Neurodiversity Podcast
When raising or teaching gifted, twice-exceptional, and differently wired children, adults often face the emotional whiplash of asynchronous development. A child might engage in deep, high-level discussions one moment, only to struggle with basic emotional regulation, task initiation, or practical organization the next. Colleen Kessler, an educator, gifted specialist, author of The Homeschool Advantage, and host of the Raising Lifelong Learners podcast, joins Emily to discuss why supporting neurodivergent kids requires shifting away from one-size-fits-all expectations and becoming an active...
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Neurodivergent Capacity: Why Can They Do It Sometimes But Not Every Time?
Neurodiversity Podcast
When supporting neurodivergent kids, adults often struggle to balance when to gently challenge a child and when to pull back to prevent nervous system overload. Pushing too hard risks chronic distress and shutdown, but overprotecting can unintentionally create learned helplessness and limit opportunities for growth. Emily welcomes Dr. Emily King, a child psychologist, former school psychologist, and author of The Neurodivergent Learner, to talk about how parents and educators can work together to read a child's true capacity and build authentic engagement in school and at home. TAKEAWAYS ...
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Learning Differences And Emotional Well-Being Aren't Separate, and Here's Why
Neurodiversity Podcast
It's easy to view academic difficulties and mental health challenges as two separate issues when a child struggles. However, the emotional toll of an unaddressed learning difference often leads to chronic anxiety, low self-esteem, and a loss of motivation. Dr. Karen Wilson is a pediatric neuropsychologist and the host of the Diverse Thinking-Different Learning Podcast, and she joins Emily this week to talk about the deep overlap between learning differences and emotional well-being. TAKEAWAYS Learning differences and mental health challenges are deeply connected, with neurodivergent kids...
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The Evolution of Assessment: It's More Than Just a Score
Neurodiversity Podcast
As public understanding of neurodiversity continues to grow, evaluators face a shifting landscape when assessing clients whose traits don't match traditional, less nuanced pictures of autism. Many individuals—especially women and girls—learn to navigate daily social interactions through pattern recognition and learned strategies rather than intuitive processing, masking their traits enough to miss early identification. Dr. Jeremy Sharp, a licensed psychologist, founder of the Colorado Center for Assessment, and host of the Testing Psychologist Podcast, joins Emily to unpack the realities...
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Autistic Girls Are Going Undiagnosed or Misdiagnosed
Neurodiversity Podcast
Often, autistic girls are called shy, introverted, perfectionistic, confused, anything BUT autistic. There is a pervasive impression, even in the medical community, that autism occurs in boys vastly more often than girls. The result is, autistic girls are missing out on services and tools that are available to them. Holly Blanc Moses is a therapist, and the host of the Autism ADHD Podcast, and she joins Emily Kircher-Morris in this encore presentation to talk about missing autism in girls. You can for our upcoming continuing education course for mental health professionals, Clinical...
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The Right to Be Heard: Reclaiming Communication Autonomy
Neurodiversity Podcast
The baseline premise of Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) rests on the fundamental principle that communication is an inherent human right rather than a privilege to be earned through baseline cognitive compliance. Too often, school systems and clinical providers inadvertently stall access to verbal alternatives by requiring non-speaking students to prove communicative readiness or complete repetitive testing metrics. Brenda Del Monte, an AAC specialist and author, alongside Sarah Kinsella, an assistive technology specialist, join Emily Kircher-Morris to discuss ways to reverse...
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What We’re Learning About (Pervasive) Pathological Demand Avoidance
Neurodiversity Podcast
When an autistic child or teen consistently pushes back against daily expectations, traditional parenting and teaching methods often default to high-pressure enforcement. This pattern routinely triggers escalating defensive behaviors, creating a continuous loop of friction that strains the entire family system. In this encore conversation, Sandra McConnell, an advocate known as the PDA Mama Bear, joins Emily Kircher-Morris to unpack the nuanced framework of pervasive demand avoidance and explore how it reshapes typical social navigation. They talk about ways to shift the focus away from...
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The Parenting Long Game: Finding the Problem Under the Problem
Neurodiversity Podcast
Today we talk about how parent reactivity, historical family patterns, and systemic overwhelm inadvertently trap families in cyclical power struggles. Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Diane Dempster, a professional coach, author, and co-founder of ImpactParents, to talk about how urgency often drives parents out of an objective problem-solving mindset, and toward reactionary behaviors that over-manage their kids, rather than supporting their neurological growth. They talk about the family as an interdependent system, and about how interpersonal traps of the traditional drama triangle can cause...
info_outlineDavid Smith spent years working as a therapist specializing in neurodiversity-affirming care, but it wasn’t until age 56, prompted by his wife and his own clients, that he sought his own autism diagnosis. That confirmation fundamentally shifted his clinical approach from that of a white-coated expert to a fellow traveler, deepening the way he accompanies families through unmapped territory.
Today, Emily and David discuss the delicate balance between professional curiosity and humility, and why traditional therapeutic models often fail to support the fragile nervous systems of neurodivergent clients. They talk about the nuances of demand avoidance, specifically the high-masking, internalized presentation that often looks like perfectionism, and why "connection before correction" is a neurological necessity, not just a catchy phrase.
TAKEAWAYS
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Effective therapy for neurodivergent clients often requires shifting away from the traditional expert hierarchy.
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The neurodivergent brain is a "complicated, custom-made car with no user’s manual."
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For neurodivergent nervous systems, stress isn't just negative trauma; it includes any destabilizing experience, including excitement and joy.
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While we often associate PDA with external defiance, the internalized profile often manifests as high-achieving perfectionism.
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Rewards and consequences often backfire with neurodivergent children because they increase anxiety.
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It's ineffective to offer a correction to a child until you have connected with them.
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There is a massive overlap between complex trauma and neurodivergence.
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A late diagnosis doesn't instantly fix struggles; it initiates a complex grieving and reframing process.
Join our live CE training, Adapting Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Autistic and ADHD Pediatric Clients, Friday morning, January 23, at 10:30 eastern/7:30 pacific, or get the recorded version anytime after. Get signed up or learn more here.
David Smith, LCSW is a late-diagnosed autistic therapist and licensed clinical social worker specializing in neurodiversity-affirming care for autistic and otherwise neurodivergent individuals and their families. Practicing since 2017, David opened his private telehealth practice in 2023 and now serves clients across five states from his home in southern Oregon. In addition to therapy, he offers consultation, writing, education, and advocacy to expand access to effective, affirming support for the neurodivergent community.
Diagnosed with autism in 2024 at age 56 (thanks in part to gentle nudges from his wife and clients) David continues to explore how his autistic identity shapes both his personal and professional life. His work is deeply rooted in curiosity, humility, and a commitment to learning from his clients and the broader neurodivergent community. He is also a devoted listener of this and other neurodivergence-focused podcasts. David lives with his wife, a fellow therapist originally from Peru, and is the proud father of three sons.
BACKGROUND READING
David’s website, LinkedIn, authored articles
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