The Friendship Playbook: Building Connection on Your Own Terms
Release Date: 03/11/2026
The Right to Be Heard: Reclaiming Communication Autonomy
Neurodiversity Podcast
The baseline premise of Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) rests on the fundamental principle that communication is an inherent human right rather than a privilege to be earned through baseline cognitive compliance. Too often, school systems and clinical providers inadvertently stall access to verbal alternatives by requiring non-speaking students to prove communicative readiness or complete repetitive testing metrics. Brenda Del Monte, an AAC specialist and author, alongside Sarah Kinsella, an assistive technology specialist, join Emily Kircher-Morris to discuss ways to reverse...
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What We’re Learning About (Pervasive) Pathological Demand Avoidance
Neurodiversity Podcast
When an autistic child or teen consistently pushes back against daily expectations, traditional parenting and teaching methods often default to high-pressure enforcement. This pattern routinely triggers escalating defensive behaviors, creating a continuous loop of friction that strains the entire family system. In this encore conversation, Sandra McConnell, an advocate known as the PDA Mama Bear, joins Emily Kircher-Morris to unpack the nuanced framework of pervasive demand avoidance and explore how it reshapes typical social navigation. They talk about ways to shift the focus away from...
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The Parenting Long Game: Finding the Problem Under the Problem
Neurodiversity Podcast
Today we talk about how parent reactivity, historical family patterns, and systemic overwhelm inadvertently trap families in cyclical power struggles. Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Diane Dempster, a professional coach, author, and co-founder of ImpactParents, to talk about how urgency often drives parents out of an objective problem-solving mindset, and toward reactionary behaviors that over-manage their kids, rather than supporting their neurological growth. They talk about the family as an interdependent system, and about how interpersonal traps of the traditional drama triangle can cause...
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The Rewards and Punishment Paradox with Alfie Kohn
Neurodiversity Podcast
Within traditional educational and parenting paradigms, behaviorist strategies such as token economies, behavior color charts, and positive reinforcement models are frequently treated as standard mechanisms for human development. However, these compliance-driven metrics often collapse under long-term evaluation, obscuring the critical psychological friction they introduce. Alfie Kohn, a prominent educational theorist and author of Punished by Rewards, joins the program to systematically critique the reliance on traditional behavioral modification systems, including school-wide positive...
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Educator Burnout: Why "Remember Your Why" Isn't Enough
Neurodiversity Podcast
The high statistical prevalence of burnout in the education system has moved past the realm of speculation and into undeniable systemic reality. While modern teacher preparation programs provide good technical training, they consistently fail to equip people with the emotional tools required to withstand chronic occupational stress. Katrina G. Huels, an educational consultant, former special education leader, and author of Transformational Tools for Special Educators, joins Emily to talk about the cumulative emotional load of behavior management, chronic staffing shortages, and high...
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Deconstructing Gifted Burnout
Neurodiversity Podcast
When highly capable children spend years cruising through an educational system where academic rigor is geared toward the average, they fail to develop the neurological muscles required to process difficulty. This week, we present an encore chat with Dr. Brian Housand, coordinator of the academically or intellectually gifted program at the University of North Carolina Wilmington, and Andi McNair, a gifted education author and digital innovation specialist. They discuss how burnout can be a result of long-term exposure to unrealistic expectations and a profound fear of failure, and how it can...
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Waiting for Sleep: Chronobiology and Neurodivergence
Neurodiversity Podcast
When a neurodivergent child or teen struggles with daytime focus, emotional volatility, or low frustration tolerance, caregivers naturally look for behavioral or psychological explanations. However, chronic sleep deprivation frequently hides behind these daytime struggles, acting as an unseen amplifier for executive dysfunction and sensory overload. Dr. Melisa Moore, a clinical psychologist and board-certified behavioral sleep medicine specialist at Rady Children's Health San Diego, joins Emily Kircher-Morris to reframe sleep not as an isolated nighttime issue, but as a continuous 24-hour...
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Understanding ADHD Children
Neurodiversity Podcast
Parents often believe they know their children, when in reality they haven’t made the effort to really understand them. That understanding can be even harder when adding ADHD into the mix. Dr. Sharon Saline is a clinical psychologist and author of the book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew. She talks with Emily Kircher-Morris about how to go about understanding your child better, and how ADHD can complicate the relationship. This conversation was previously released. Perfectionism can be difficult to identify in therapy, and once identified, still very difficult to overcome. If you're a...
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From Special Ed to Law School: Redefining Autistic Potential
Neurodiversity Podcast
When creating policies and environments for neurodivergent students, schools frequently rely on outward observations, behavioral data, and the opinions of non-autistic professionals. But this approach often misses the most critical perspective of all: the lived, internal experience of autistic individuals. Today, Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes David Rivera, an autistic self-advocate, UC Berkeley student, and founder of the nonprofit organization Mentoring Autistic Minds, and they talk about why autistic adults must be recognized as a primary epistemic resource in the fight for educational...
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The Secret Ingredients for Emotional Regulation
Neurodiversity Podcast
When a student or child is dysregulated, adults often focus entirely on finding the right words to say or the appropriate consequence to give. But what if the most critical factor in that interaction isn't the consequence itself, but the energy of the adult delivering it? Dr. Lori Desautels, an educator, researcher, and professor of applied educational neuroscience at Butler University, joins the podcast to reframe how we approach discipline, emotional regulation, and transitions. Her latest manual, Body and Brain Brilliance, emphasizes that true support, whether in a classroom or a living...
info_outlineWhy does friendship feel like an intuitive gift for some, but a complex, manual process for others? This week, Emily Kircher-Morris sits down with social-emotional learning expert Caroline Maguire, author of the award-winning Why Will No One Play With Me? and the upcoming Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults.
The conversation dismantles the harmful narrative that connection should happen organically, reframing social struggles not as character flaws, but as understandable skill gaps influenced by executive dysfunction and past trauma. They talk about the concept of "Middle School Caroline," the inner child who reacts to perceived slights with high-alert protection, and suggest advice on unmasking, managing rejection sensitivity, and finding "your people" who value compassion over perfect social performance.
TAKEAWAYS
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The "friendship should be easy" narrative fuels unnecessary shame.
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Connection is a complex skill set, not an innate character trait.
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Executive dysfunction directly impacts the logistical and emotional labor of maintaining adult relationships.
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Rejection Sensitivity (RSD) often functions as a protective mechanism whose past social trauma colors present-day perceptions.
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Unmasking in friendships is a gradual spectrum that requires identifying safe people rather than an all-or-nothing disclosure.
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Neurodivergent social strengths like info-dumping and deep empathy are valid forms of connection that deserve recognition and framing, rather than suppression.
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Neurodivergent adults often base social perceptions on the most recent interaction, making objectivity and evidence-based thinking vital for relationship stability.
Mental health professionals, join us for our training session, Interpreting Autism Assessment Data in High-Masking and Under-Identified Presentations. Dr. Taylor Day is the presenter, and this recorded self-study is now available. It's approved for both APA and NBCC continuing ed hours. You can take the course here.
Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., PCC is an internationally recognized expert in social-emotional learning, ADHD coaching, and relationship development. She is the author of the award-winning book Why Will No One Play with Me? and the upcoming Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults (Balance Books, April 2026). As the host of The ADHD Social Playbook podcast, Caroline helps neurodivergent individuals build the confidence and connection skills needed to thrive in relationships.
A coach, educator, and sought-after speaker, Caroline developed a comprehensive SEL training methodology used by parents, clinicians, and educators to foster self-awareness, emotional regulation, and meaningful social interactions. She is the founder of the family-focused coach training program at the ADD Coach Academy, and brings both professional expertise and personal insight to her work as a neurodivergent person with ADHD, dyslexia, and learning disabilities. Her work has been featured by TEDx, ADDitude, WebMD, MindBodyGreen, and more.
BACKGROUND READING
Facebook, Instagram, "Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults" book: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Hachette, Audible
The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and you’re invited to join our Facebook Group. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com.
If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.