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Managing expectations as a mother

My New Life

Release Date: 11/13/2023

Montessori math show art Montessori math

My New Life

Math is all around us. When it comes to teaching it, the challenge lies not in creating the opportunities, but in recognizing them. Counting grapes while they disappear is a fun one! Around the age of 4, a child’s mathematical knowledge takes a big leap forward. They go from counting and recognizing numbers, to understanding 1:1 correspondence and being able to complete simple addition. As parents, we can support them in this leap by providing things to count, line up, and compare. Lovevery’s Montessori Math Bars & Number Tiles for months 43-45 are a great place to start. On this...

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Montessori handwriting show art Montessori handwriting

My New Life

The Montessori method is rooted in the idea that children can—and should—be empowered to do things on their own. On this episode of My New Life, we consider handwriting through a Montessori lens. But how much independence can we truly expect from a child who is forming words on paper for the first time? You may be surprised to learn that a toddler can start practicing handwriting as early as age 3. It all comes down to building the foundations through play! Host Jessica Rolph is joined by Julia Volkman, who wrote her thesis at Harvard on the moveable alphabet. Julia, founder of , says...

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Montessori literacy show art Montessori literacy

My New Life

Even if your 3-year-old can recite their ABCs like a pro, they’ll need to learn that spoken words are made up of individual sounds to succeed at reading. Hands-on activities that build this kind of phonemic awareness — and reinforce the connection between letter sounds and letter shapes — are the best way to teach them what they need to know.  As with all kinds of hands-on learning, Montessori is a great place to start! Did you know that in Montessori classrooms, children learn to spell before they learn to read? Word building with the moveable alphabet is at the heart of this...

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Executive function: Empathy show art Executive function: Empathy

My New Life

Empathy can be a puzzling concept for a young child. They often need adults to model it for them. When reading stories or playing with the wooden peg people together, ask your child: “How do you think that person is feeling right now? How can you tell? How would you feel in his place?” Encourage your child to notice the clues in their environment and use them to draw conclusions.  In this final episode in the executive function series, Senior Director of Programs at Rebecca Parlakian joins Host Jessica Rolph to look at how empathy fits into the critical thinking skills coming online...

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Executive function: Flexible thinking show art Executive function: Flexible thinking

My New Life

Have you ever played “hot/cold” with your child? It’s good for a laugh, particularly when a child can’t find something in plain sight. But it’s also great at teaching young children flexible thinking, or the ability to adapt to change. As they are searching for the lost item, they are listening to directions and staying flexible when they have to change course. In this series on executive function, we’ve been looking at ways to help our children build these skills, which include working memory, impulse control and cognitive flexibility. These mental tasks take practice and must be...

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Executive function: Managing frustration show art Executive function: Managing frustration

My New Life

Success in life — that looks different for everyone. But skills like persistence, managing frustration and emotional regulation tend to scaffold that success, no matter what the end result looks like. These skills are all part of what scientists call executive function, something we’re focusing on this season. We like to talk about executive function, because young children have lots of chances to practice these skills! In this episode, we look at how to build frustration tolerance. One of the best ways to do that is to play games — games where your child occasionally loses! Joining My...

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Executive function: Thinking ahead show art Executive function: Thinking ahead

My New Life

Executive functioning skills are important, because they help us achieve our goals. Children with strong executive functioning skills have the focus, patience, flexibility and resilience to succeed in—and out—of school.  While children continue to develop these skills into adolescence, research shows they surge at 4 years old. And they can be really fun to practice! In this episode, My New Life Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Whitman Professor of Psychology Dr. Melissa Clearfield a second time. She first appeared on the show 3 years ago to discuss her research demonstrating differences in...

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When parenting feels unequal show art When parenting feels unequal

My New Life

Our guest today is a mother of four children, ages 5 to 17. She knows well how the demands of parenting can run you into the ground. She made the choice to step off the “struggle bus of overwhelm” — as she calls it — but it was a move that took time, and conscious effort. The secret? Establishing clear boundaries. And choosing not to identify with the “mother as martyr” role. So many of us look for our partners to validate how hard we are working, before we give ourselves permission to delegate and take a break. Or hold onto resentment because we feel we are shouldering more than...

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Helping children deal with change show art Helping children deal with change

My New Life

Why can change be so unsettling for our toddlers? I mean, change up the snack crackers and you may have a major crisis on your hands. On this episode of My New Life, Jessical Rolph hosts Lael Stone, author of “Raising Resilient and Compassionate Children”. Never is our resilience put to the test more so than in the face of change. If you and your family are changing things up — be it a new home, new caregiver, or a new school, Lael will help you navigate what can be tricky terrain with your child. In addition to her work as a parent educator, she is a mother of three. You can find Lael ....

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Managing expectations as a mother show art Managing expectations as a mother

My New Life

For the most part, limits provide a framework that helps everyone move through the day more fluidly, and with less friction. But on this episode of My New Life, we discuss limiting beliefs — beliefs that interfere with our own wellbeing and that of our family.  A big one is the notion that we can “have it all”. For parents who work outside the home, this can compound the pressure we already feel to be in more than one place at a time. And for parents who work inside the home, the line between family and professional needs gets easily blurred. Leaving everyone wondering: Am I a good...

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For the most part, limits provide a framework that helps everyone move through the day more fluidly, and with less friction. But on this episode of My New Life, we discuss limiting beliefs — beliefs that interfere with our own wellbeing and that of our family. 

A big one is the notion that we can “have it all”. For parents who work outside the home, this can compound the pressure we already feel to be in more than one place at a time. And for parents who work inside the home, the line between family and professional needs gets easily blurred. Leaving everyone wondering: Am I a good enough fill-in-the-blank… parent? employee? boss?

Psychologist and motherhood coach Yara Heary knows this dance all too well, and she’s here to help us explore how these limiting beliefs show up for us, because being aware of these thoughts is the first step toward changing them. You can find Yara @lifeafterbirthpsychology

Takeaways:

  1. Host Jessica Rolph shared one of her own limiting beliefs: I’m not a present enough parent. Yara encouraged her to look at the standard to which she’s measuring her worth as a mother. Where did that standard come from? What is enough? This goes for any of the limiting beliefs we have.

  2. Yara ascribes to the notion that you can have it all, but not all at the same time. There are seasons when one or another role is going to take priority. Give yourself permission to settle into the current role, knowing that there will come a time when you can switch hats.

  3. When caring for young children, it can often feel like you haven’t “achieved” much. But that comes down to what we perceive as meaningful. If you write down all that you’ve ticked off in a day, it may be easier to re-evaluate those tasks as meaningful, valuable care-taking.

  4. If you’re working outside the home and finding the separation painful, focus on 10 minutes of special time with your child each day. This is a time where the phone is out of reach and you’re following your child’s lead. If your child has trouble saying goodbye when you leave for work, talk about this special ritual you will have, when it will happen and what it will look like. 

 

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Brought to you by Lovevery.com 

Find Yara Heary @lifeafterbirthpsychology

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