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Episode 52 - We Are So Back, Again

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Release Date: 12/11/2024

Episode 59 - The Zwift Education of Michael van den Ham show art Episode 59 - The Zwift Education of Michael van den Ham

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

American Mike and Canadian Michael hug it out after their chance encounter in the Zwift comments section. Michael shares his experiences racing on Zwift, helps speculate if the Coggan chart is dead, and gets some helpful pointers from Cycling Expert Kevin. He also provides a coach's assessment of the famed 30 for 30 workout plan.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to to become a member of the network and support our decadence. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe...

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Episode 58 - Mike is the Watt King Now show art Episode 58 - Mike is the Watt King Now

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

You've heard our Watt King of the Week segment, but what if one of us ... became the Watt King? Mike made a bunch of people mad with his patented coffee stop and then potentially started an international incident. Kevin tried a Peloton ride, to hilarious effect.  And is Zwift dead? Is this the end of Nowhere Fast?   Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to to become a member of the network and support our decadence. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via  or . 

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Episode 57 - Mason Rocca Returns show art Episode 57 - Mason Rocca Returns

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

It's the virtual bike racing / basketball crossover episode you didn't know you needed. Former virtual racing National Champion Mason Rocca returns to talk about his switch from RGT to Zwift, racing the ERL on MyWoosh, and watching his sons ball out for their high school team this winter.  We also learned that this week's Watt King of the Week is coming from inside the house.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help buy Zach Zwift steering, head to to become a member of the network and support our decadence. To keep up to date...

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Episode 56 - The Stupidest Race on Zwift show art Episode 56 - The Stupidest Race on Zwift

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Welcome to the Thunderdome of Zwift. Kevin and Mike dreamed about the stupidest race on Zwift and then made it a reality. Half the field got sent up a mountain, the other half got sent downhill to do 92 laps in the toilet bowl. And Kevin got the win.  We also talk about our Wattkings of the Week, debate whether or not Wattkings have ruined Cat A Zwift racing, and learn about the advantages of steering, even if it doesn't really work.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help buy Zach Zwift steering, head to to become a member of the...

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Episode 55 - Casey Schumm, The Best Not Good Racer on Zwift show art Episode 55 - Casey Schumm, The Best Not Good Racer on Zwift

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Casey Schumm is "the best not good racer on Zwift" (said with 100% love). Schumm has mastered the art of Zwift to consistently stay competitive at the Cat B level. He stopped by the pod to share stories from the pretty good level of Zwift and discuss the new Zwift Racing Score and the outsized influence equipment has on virtual racing.  We also try out a new segment highlighting our favorite Watt Kings of the Week.  Casey hosts his own weekly virtual racing podcast called Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's...

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Episode 54 - The Average Joe's 30 for 30 show art Episode 54 - The Average Joe's 30 for 30

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Can a very mid bike racer complete the famed 30 for 30 workout plan? Our very average host and editor shares his experiences surviving 30 straight days of Zwift races and hard Peloton rides. Mike also reports on concerning news about the future of the Gong Show, and Kevin shares the many accomplishments now on his Zwift Power profile.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's gold-plated ankle weights, head to to become a member of the network and contribute to our advanced virtual racing research. To keep up to date...

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Episode 53 - The Cheating Detective, with Bjoern Ossenbrink show art Episode 53 - The Cheating Detective, with Bjoern Ossenbrink

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Bjoern Ossenbrink's eyes *clap clap* are watching you, they see your every move. Well, kind of, but he does use data analytics to verify virtual racing performances at the high levels of the sport. He joins the pod to talk about the low-cadence craze, power meters and smart trainers, and that one time he raced against KBH. We also try to determine if CrossFit is the Zwift of working out.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Mike's coffee stop glitch research, head to to become a member of the network and contribute to our...

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Episode 52 - We Are So Back, Again show art Episode 52 - We Are So Back, Again

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

We are back! For real this time. We promise. We catch up on what everyone has been up to in the last 13 months, including Mike's Gong Show and Kevin's CrossFit assault bike Zwift race. We talk a bit about MyWhoosh Worlds, and then of course, cheating. 

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Episode 51 - We Are So Back show art Episode 51 - We Are So Back

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Just like Zwift, we got stalled out on Level 50, but since the levels go to 60 now, we should probably record more podcasts. We catch up, talk about the end of RGT, eWorlds moving to a new platform, and other things in the world of indoor racing. Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's legal fees, head to to become a member of the network and support what we do. Follow Mike on Twitter at  and Zach at . To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via  or . 

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Episode 50! The Return of Eric Schlange show art Episode 50! The Return of Eric Schlange

Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Eric Schlange of Zwift Insider returns to toast our 50th episode. We chat about ZI's Tiny Races, the new pack dynamics, the future of Zwift, and of course, cheating. Also, you'll def want to tune in for perhaps the greatest Story Time with Kevin of all time.  Check out Zwift Insider at . Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's legal fees, head to  to become a member of the network and support what we do.  Follow Mike on Twitter at  and Zach at .  To keep up to date on all our real coverage of...

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More Episodes

We are back! For real this time. We promise. We catch up on what everyone has been up to in the last 13 months, including Mike's Gong Show and Kevin's CrossFit assault bike Zwift race. We talk a bit about MyWhoosh Worlds, and then of course, cheating.