80: Regrets, Requirements, Reality, and Capacity | Ask OhHeyCoach

Episode 80: Regrets, Requirements, Reality, and Capacity | Ask OhHeyCoach

The Career Clinic Podcast

Host: Ronnie Dickerson Stewart

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Episode Overview

Welcome to Episode 80 and the first Ask OhHeyCoach Friday of the January Intensive.

This episode brings us into real time, real context, and real life.

Rather than tidy answers or aspirational soundbites, today’s conversation sits at the intersection of coaching theory and lived reality — including uncertainty, instability, cultural chaos, and the very human tension between what we need and what feels possible right now.

The questions in this episode explore regret, survival, capacity limits, competing requirements, and the fear of advocating for yourself in precarious environments. This is not about fixing everything. It’s about naming the truth, reclaiming agency, and taking the next right step.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✔️ Why you can’t “think” your way out of the red zone — and what actually helps
✔️ How to use regret as instruction without staying stuck in self-blame
✔️ How to navigate competing requirements without forcing false choices
✔️ What real human capacity actually looks like (and why you’re not failing)
✔️ How to advocate for your needs without ignoring context or risk
✔️ Why agency is built through small, strategic decisions — not grand gestures

The Questions Answered in This Episode ✍🏾

1. The Red Zone Question
“I’ve been stuck in fight, flight, fear, freeze for months — maybe years. How do I get out of the red zone when the threat is still real?”

This answer explores nervous system regulation, micro-moves, resourcing (not gaslighting), and how to create moments of safety while you sort through real threats.

2. The Regret That Feels Unfixable Question
“I stayed with a manager who destroyed my confidence. I’ve left, but I still hear her voice. What’s the lesson when harm already happened?”

We talk about naming what was taken, collecting evidence that contradicts the damage, practicing discernment, and formally resigning from voices that no longer belong in your head.

3. The Warring Requirements Question
“I need financial stability, but I also need meaningful work and flexibility. My requirements feel at war with each other. Do I have to choose?”

This answer reframes requirements as weighted, seasonal, and sequenced, not all-or-nothing. The real question becomes: What’s the smartest order?

4. The Capacity Reality Check Question
“I only have 3–4 hours of real focus a week, but my job expects 8–10 hours of ‘on’ time a day. Am I bad at this — or is everyone else faking it?”

We unpack real human cognitive capacity, maintenance vs. focus work, visibility myths, and how to design your days honestly inside imperfect systems.

5. The Timing & Advocacy Question
“I require flexibility to pick up my kids, but my company is going through layoffs. Should I wait to ask or ask anyway?”

This response explores requirements vs. preferences, testing before formal asks, framing needs as trades (not takes), and how to read the room without abandoning yourself.

Key Reframes from This Episode 🙌🏾

• You are not broken — your nervous system is responding to reality

• Surviving is important, but you deserve more than survival

• Regret doesn’t mean failure; it can be instruction

• Requirements don’t disappear because timing is inconvenient

• Agency is built one decision at a time

Links & Resources 🤎

📝 Ask OhHeyCoach (Submit Your Questions):
Submit questions anonymously or by name for future Friday episodes.
👉🏾 https://form.typeform.com/to/ja89DHpT

📩 Join the OhHeyMonday Newsletter:
Weekly reflections, tools, and grounded guidance delivered every Monday.
👉🏾 www.ohheyjoin.com

🤝 Work With Ronnie / OhHeyCoach:
Executive coaching, leadership development, and career design for individuals and organizations.
👉🏾 www.ohheycoach.com

📬 Contact:
[e-mail]

What’s Coming Next

Next week in the January Intensive, we’ll focus on improving your "Say vs. Do ratio" — how to align commitments, priorities, accountability, communication, and follow-through with what you say you want for the year ahead, after the new year energy wears off. 

I’ll see you next week. 🤎