214: Together 68 Years: You Can't Just Put Your Relationship on a Shelf

In this deeply moving episode of Our Better Half, hosts Rosara and Jane sit down with a special guest to discuss an intimate and often unspoken aspect of grief: the loss of a sexual self. Our guest, who prefers to remain anonymous, courageously shares a powerful reflection on her experience since the death of her beloved husband.

She introduces us to "Lefty," a flirtatious and sensual persona she developed and nurtured within the safety of her marriage. Lefty was more than just a part of her; she was her husband's "girlfriend," a vital and cherished part of their bond. Our guest shares the painful process of having to "close down" this part of herself after his passing, and the profound sense of loss that came with it.

Throughout the conversation, we explore what it means to lose a partner who was not only a best friend and confidant but also a playmate and lover. Our guest opens up about the powerful phrase she and her husband used to describe their connection: "A Quantum of Solace," a state of being where they found shelter and security in each other's arms.

She also offers a vulnerable and honest look at how she has navigated the loss of physical intimacy. This episode is a testament to the enduring power of love and a compassionate guide for anyone experiencing similar grief.

Listeners, if you’d like to learn more about keeping the sex in a long-term relationship, we recommend Hani Miletski and her late husband’s book,  Keep It Fresh: Tips For Couples Who Are In It For The Long Haul and Sara Nasserzadeh’s book, Love By Design.

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