217: All Sex is Queer Sex (Especially For Older Adults)

Our guest this time is Stephen Duclos, and his interest in aging is partly because he has been doing social change work for decades and sees aging as just one more civil rights horizon. He’s also interested in aging because he’s a sex therapist, and he sees all sex as queer sex when it comes to aging adults.

Stephen has been working as a therapist and counselor since 1972. He currently holds licenses and national certifications in Sex Therapy (as a CST), Couples and Family Therapy (LMFT), Mental Health Counseling (LMHC), and Rehabilitation Counseling (CRC). Stephen is an Approved Supervisor with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), and AASECT (the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists). He is also a member of the American Family Therapy Academy. In 2012, he received the Patricia Schiller award from AASECT for his work on Fathers, Adolescent Daughters, and Sexuality. And in 2022, he was featured in a cover story in the NY Times Magazine about sex over 70.

Jane first met Stephen at an AASECT conference and was immediately struck by his candor, and they have been teaching social workers and students of sex therapy ever since. He is always up for a new challenge and is one of the most thoughtful clinicians she knows. He has been a teacher and supervisor of therapists as an adjunct faculty member of UMass/Boston and is a principal faculty member in the Sex Therapy Training program at South Shore Sexual Health Center. He has also taught at Boston Medical Center and Harvard Medical School. He is vitally interested in intimacy, aging, fathers and daughters, and long-term sexual relationships. 

Stephen has also been involved in civil rights work for more than 50 years. From registering voters for the Boston Election Commission in 1967, to helping establish the second Independent Living Center in the US for people with disabilities in the 1970s, to establishing biracial councils in the Boston Public Schools during desegregation through the late 1980s, to supporting liberation for the queer community, civil rights has been part of his ongoing, lifelong community work.  

His interest in aging comes in large part from his commitment to being a therapist, seeing older clients, and threading the aging process in the tapestry of his own life. He is fierce, tender, brilliant, and a great teacher and learner. He wanted to expand his teaching practice by working with a sex educator, and Jane was so pleased that he invited her in because she loves teaching with him, always learning something new, as we did in this conversation. 

Listeners, if you’d like to learn more about Stephen and his work, you can find more information here.

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