14 Park Golf パークゴルフ

For this episode, Scot talks sports! One sport in particular. A Japanese sport that may be new to you. It’s the wonderful game of Park Golf, and we give it a glowing deep dive. 

Small club, big ball, rubber tee, and you’re ready to hit the course. Listen to stories about Park Golf from Japan and adventures I have in America.

I talk with Kris Beyer Jones from Destroyer Park Golf for an interview with the first park golf course in America, and some of my usual unusual hijinks with my friends Jeff Clemens and Alex Yocum.  

Find Destroyer Park Golf at https://destroyerparkgolf.com/

Find the International Park Golf Association of America (IPGAA) at https://ipgaa.com/

Find Wormburner Park Golf at https://www.wormburnerparkgolf.com/

And find the Japanese Park Golf Association at https://www.parkgolf.or.jp/

 

Check out all pics, videos, and transcript on the webpage for this episode: 

https://perfectshowpodcast.com/14-park-golf/

Music from this episode by:

 

Avishka31 - https://www.fiverr.com/avishka31

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Brrrrravo - https://www.fiverr.com/brrrrravo

dawnshire - https://www.fiverr.com/dawnshire

desparee - https://www.fiverr.com/desparee

Gelyanov - https://www.fiverr.com/gelyanov

Gui Moraes - https://www.fiverr.com/guimoraes

Isehgal - https://www.fiverr.com/isehgal

kgrapofficial - https://www.fiverr.com/kgrapofficial

Nearbysound - https://www.fiverr.com/nearbysound

rito_shopify - https://www.fiverr.com/rito_shopify

Yashchaware - https://www.fiverr.com/yashchaware

Aandy Valentine - https://www.fiverr.com/aandyvalentine

From the Free Music Archive and used under a Creative Commons License:

Komiku - https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Komiku

School - https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Komiku/Captain_Glouglous_Incredible_Week_Soundtrack/mall_1328/

 

AI-Generated Transcript:

 

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hi and welcome to the Perfect Show. I am your host, scott Moppen. I'm what you might call a perfection prospector, sifting through life looking for little things or experiences that can be considered perfect. Join me each episode as I examine one topic that I'm presenting as a little nugget of perfection Ah, sports. I'm not much of a sports guy anymore. I mean, I certainly had my phases both as a player and as a fan, both in my childhood. That was the end of that sentence. Both of those were in my childhood. That's why it's weird to me that I found a totally new sport and then became an avid player and fan of it completely in my adulthood. This sport may be new to you too, and if it is, please allow me to proudly introduce you to the game of park golf. Throughout my childhood I had played, and then quit, a number of sports, or rather, I would often hit a ceiling on both my natural athletic ability and my willingness to practice things past when they stopped being fun. But as a kid I had done t-ball and then baseball, soccer for a little bit early on, basketball for a bit later, and then track in seventh grade as well. All of those were over by high school, though, where I was on the high school tennis team for one year as a freshman before not making the team again my sophomore year. You know what sophomore me thought of that Whatever, because you know what sophomore me thought of pretty much everything Whatever. But on the fan side of things, as a child growing up in a suburb of Kansas City, I was of course, into the Royals for baseball and the Chiefs for football. Basketball was trickier since there was no pro team nearby. I think the Chicago Bulls were the closest to us geographically, but the Kansas J-hawks were in Lawrence, just a half hour from us, and they pretty much filled all the same fandom needs that a pro team would Now like a lot of things. That all changed when I went to Japan, but first I remember trying to keep up in absurd ways having my dad record football games and then mail me the tapes, but that stopped pretty quickly. The only game that NHK, which is the main Japanese television network, carried live was the Super Bowl, which, because of the time difference their Sunday night game actually airs on early Monday morning Japan time. Some expats tried each year to get something going, but the morning vibe, along with the strangeness of the game being broadcast, but none of the commercials. A lot of the time we were watching the players standing and waiting for ad breaks to end and eating like eggs or donuts or some morning food. I tried to get into some Japanese sports too. I went to a couple of Japanese baseball games, I tried to watch some sumo, but it wasn't until I moved to Hokkaido that a sport truly took hold of me again. Now I'd have guessed that sport would have been skiing. I had liked skiing as a kid and I'd even tried to go skiing once in Japan, but they didn't have any boots in my size, so actually I ended up spending my first ski trip in Japan just sitting while everyone else skied. When I applied for my next job in Japan, it was with the JET program, a program that places native English speakers into schools and town halls to help with language and culture exchange. But in order to get a position on JET, I had to go back to the US for an interview. I had put Hokkaido as one of my top choices and I was keen not to have a repeat of my first Japanese ski trip. So there, during the hottest part of the summer in Kansas, the flattest state in the US. I bought some ski boots in my size and hauled them back to Japan with me. I did end up getting placed on the northern island of Hokkaido Very, very far north Hokkaido actually and I skied some, but my real sport was something we accidentally stumbled on during my first summer there, and that sport was park golf. I had lived in Japan for over a year in Kyushu, and it wasn't until I moved to Hokkaido that I even heard of park golf. And that's because, even though park golf is an international sport, technically, it was invented in Hokkaido, japan, and with the more spacious nature of Hokkaido compared to the other Japanese prefectures, that's where the vast majority of the courses are as well. Wikipedia tells me park golf started in 1983, invented in the town of Makubatsu, japan, which is also on the northern island of Hokkaido, although it also says the sport is like a cross between golf and croquet, which I think is off. There's no wickets or hitting other players' balls or anything. I'd say it's more like the midway point between regular golf and mini golf. You get to crack the ball when you hit it more than mini golf, and the ball is bigger, like a baseball or a billiards ball, so you have a much larger target than a normal golf and you can put extra English, extra spin on the thing when you hit it. No spinning windmills or statues, but plenty of land and sand challenges. Rules run roughly the same as golf. You count your strokes for each hole and add them up at the end. Low scores are good and high scores are bad. That's all the same. Wikipedia also says the creators wanted it to be really accessible to everyone, so it's designed to be played with really simple equipment For park golf. You only need one ball, one tee and one club, making it cheap to play and to buy equipment for. Speaking of equipment, driving, chipping and putting are all done with that same stubby club. I'd say the club looks like you took a regular putter shaft and handle, then shortened it and stuck the head of a driver on the end of it. I'm 6'1 and I hunch over a lot to get a good hit with one. Most Japanese people weren't that tall, especially the older Japanese people I would often see out playing park golf, and so they didn't have to hunch over nearly as much, but there's still more of a well, I'll call it a hunch and whack style to hitting a park golf ball than the wind up and follow through of a regular golf swing. Meanwhile, what you're hitting is a hard plastic ball, 60mm wide or about 2, 3, 8 inches, so that's just a little smaller than a tennis ball, which is 65 to 68mm. Many are just a simple solid color. I started off with those, but I enjoyed splurging on one new ball to begin each new park golf season and I eventually opted for something cooler. Maybe a ball with a marbleized color or gold flecks that sparkle in the sun, or one where the outer plastic is clear but you can see an inner complex geodesic dome structure inside of it something like that. With the larger ball, it also makes sense that you would have a larger hole. The park golf hole is between 200 to 216mm across, making it around 8 to 8.5 inches in diameter, pretty much twice as wide as the 4 and a quarter inch hole for regular golf, which means we're dealing with a park golf hole that has four times as much area as a regular golf hole when you multiply it out. Holes are supposed to be limited to a maximum of 100 meters long, that's 109 yards, and a nine hole course is supposed to total a maximum length of 500 meters, which is 547 yards. But I gotta say I definitely played many courses in Hokkaido that exceeded both those limits and some of my favorite courses were the longest and most sprawling. So I'm not sure how strictly they monitor that rule, but that is definitely one for official courses. Wikipedia notes that, despite it being accessible for every age, there are a vast majority of the parkers which is what it says park golf players are called but that's literally my first time ever hearing that term. But it says that most of them by far are retirees, and I definitely can concur. But I also think there's a bunch of reasons why that is, and it doesn't seem so strange to me really. First off, the best times to park golf were during times when non-retirees would be either at work or school, so it makes total sense that would become a spot where you'd see it as an activity for retirees during that time. Japan also has a strong culture of activities planned and available for its older population. That doesn't so much exist in the United States. It's definitely built into the culture, but it's also built into Japanese society. A lot of care and attention gets paid to elder care and quality of life, so I also saw park golf being encouraged as an engaging physical activity, less demanding than actual golf for an older player, but it still got people outside walking, hitting and socializing in fresh air. I would probably say the next largest group after older Japanese players were younger foreigner players. My data may be really skewed, though, because every time I went park golfing I saw a group of those. As a group we rarely, but sometimes clashed with the oyajis, which is Japanese that translates to old man or old men, as we refer to the older Japanese players, who often did their own thing, but sometimes would jump in to help our group and let us know we weren't quite playing right. We'd thank them, but when they left we'd go right back to what we were doing, which was play our modified version of the game. For example, there's an out of bounds, referred to by players as OB, but when we played, unless there were other players nearby, there was no OB rule. If you could play it, you could play it Something oyajis really tisks at us if they saw, but it was important for us because we had money riding on these scores A hundred yen a whole usually, with the possibility of going on a hot streak and quitting enough for a meal paid for by your less lucky friend. And those meals those were the most delicious kind. Hokkaido snow would start sticking to the ground in October and then stay around on the ground until April a full six months of snow. Playing park golf in the fresh Hokkaido air was an amazing way to spend the six non-snowy months outdoors. It was challenging enough to be continually fun, but easy enough to do with new people the perfect pastime For my job on jet. I was an assistant English teacher in my town's junior high schools and I would often be done with work while students were still at school or doing after school activities, with several hours of sunlight still left. So I would meet up with other teachers. We'd grab our clubs and play whatever course was up next. We had favorites, but also anytime someone discovered a new course it was a good enough reason to hit that one up next. But every town seemed to have at least one course, usually more than one, usually way more. I think the first Hokkaido town I lived in had some nearby but, like with groceries, the best collection of park golf courses in the area were in the city of Naioro. There were a ton there and really all the towns around too. The second Hokkaido city I lived in was where I really got into playing park golf more often, because there were over 20 different courses within a 15 minute radius of our spot in Takikawa. There were also courses set up and maintained by onsen and hot spring hotels all across the island. In fact, my all time favorite course is at an onsen hotel in Kenbuchi, hokkaido, where there are 36 holes up in the hills with just spectacular layouts and natural views of the local river valley. Another evolution to our gai koku jimbajin of park golf was the jump tee. A normal park golf tee is a squat little cylinder about an inch tall with a wide base all made out of this rubbery plastic. You only use it on your first shot like a normal golf tee, but unlike a normal golf tee it doesn't really give you much lift at all. You can try to scoop up under it or pop it up, but it doesn't really give good lift, no matter what you do. That's why we invented the jump tee. The jump tee's sole purpose was to give the park golf ball some lift to let us pop it up and over instead of going around some obstacles, like the course designers wanted us to. The jump tee was made from two or, sometimes rarely, three regular park golf tees stacked on top of each other and then driving the ball while it's balanced atop this tower. It took some getting used to and some harkening back to those long, dormant tee ball skills, but the jump tee opened up our game vertically and probably intensified the attachment we all felt to our special brand of the sport, and for four years, when there wasn't snow on the ground, I played it pretty regularly. Winter wasn't free of park golf activities, though. That's when the oyajis would shed their old wares and get new ones. So that meant the start of a new type of season for me. Like I said before, park golf is a game where you only need one club, but some of the more well-off or serious Japanese players like to make sure that they had a new one club each season. Eventually, new one-clubs become backup one-clubs and backup one-clubs become clutter, so they get taken to the recycle shop, this wonderful, magical, amazing place in Japan called the Recycle Shop. In the US it would be called a used goods store or a thrift shop like Goodwill or the Salvation Army, but again, like many things in Japan, it has a completely different feel than its American counterpart here in America. I think the thrift stores are looked at as sort of the last stop for something like places without too much expectation or status. I think American thrift stores are probably ranked just a notch above a flea market. Maybe In Japan, though, the Recycle Shop seems like the first place things go, and you can find all manner of items there, from nice clothes like really nice clothes to electronics or furniture and interesting odds and ends to, often times, very decently priced park golf equipment. Park golf balls were a different matter, because there is some good distance to these holes. They got whacked around quite a bit so I didn't see used balls often, and when I did see them they were pretty banged up. This was another reason I would get a new one each year, especially since new ones were only like $10-$20, or maybe $25 if you want to spring for something really nice like the fancy ones I was describing Now. Recycle Shops do not pay much for the stuff they buy from you. I could say that for many first-hand experiences. But you don't sell stuff to them to get rich. You do it for the love of the game and because you got good gets from the Recycle Shop before. So when it's time to move your stuff, you just go there first. I mean, you hit up your friends first and try to offload stuff they might want for a decent amount, and then you take anything that they don't want to the Recycle Shop after that. But yeah, I'd scour Recycle Shops for clothes in my size, exercise equipment, tables and chairs sometimes. But whatever reason I was there for initially, I'd always check for park golf equipment before I left and collected a bunch of my own clubs and gear that way. Not so that I could have a set of clubs for me remember, this is a sport where you only need one club but I got a bunch so that I had enough for a group of four or two groups of four to go out park golfing together. I mean, I also have a left-handed club and I've never been left-handed, not even a phase in college or anything. Some of the nicer park golf courses came complete with places to get scorecards and rent clubs and balls, which would usually only cost 500 to 1000 yen or like 5 to 10 dollars. If you brought your own equipment, it would be significantly cheaper or sometimes even just free. In that sense, I played enough that the used equipment I bought tended to pay for itself over the season just in saved rental fees alone. But the main reason I had my own clubs was because only some park golf courses were staffed. Many were just open, like places near riverbeds or in parks, and unstaffed, so you couldn't rent anything there, but as long as you brought your own equipment you could play for free as much as you wanted. These were the places that we really haunted over and over until they became courses we knew well. Now each one of my clubs has a little sticker on the shaft certifying that it complies with the official size restrictions for park golf equipment, and each of those stickers cites the power of the IPGA, which stands for the International Park Golf Association. Just like park golf spread over Hokkaido, it continued to spread across Japan all the way down to Kyushu and Okinawa. As you'd expect, the more rural an area is, the more park golf courses it seems to have. The official ones are all members of the NPGA or Nippon Park Golf Association. Oh, I don't know if this is at all needed, but Nippon is one of the ways to say Japan in Japanese. But what makes the International Park Golf Association international, of course, are the courses outside of Japan. I found a few different park golf courses in Korea and also saw listed that there were courses in Sweden, brazil and Paraguay. It was hard for me to search in most of those countries because I don't know the language or what they might refer to park golf as, but there's only one in all of North America. On their map of officially registered courses, this course is actually the only one the IPGA even lists outside of Japan at all. It's in the United States, in Akron, new York. Akron is a small village in upstate New York, about 40 minutes from Buffalo and 45 from Niagara Falls, and it's the home of Destroyer Park Golf, the first park golf course in America. After I came back from Japan, I searched the internet for park golf in America and crossed my fingers that I could find a place to play in the US. That's how I first learned about Destroyer Park Golf. Now I feel like I've traveled all over America except the Northeast. I've never been to New York or anywhere in the New England area, so it wasn't a place I could go in person. But when I decided on doing a park golf episode, destroyer Park Golf was the perfect place to turn to. That's how I found myself one afternoon on a phone call to Akron, new York, for an interview. Can I get you to start off by introducing yourself for the podcast by saying your name and maybe your position there at Destroyer Park Golf?

Speaker 3: 20:12

Sure yeah. My name is Chris Byer Jones and I'm a co-owner of Destroyer Park Golf with my husband, whose name is Chris Jones.

Speaker 1: 20:20

Excellent. Well, hi, it's great talking to you. How are you doing?

Speaker 3: 20:24

I'm doing very good, thank you. It's beautiful out here for a change.

Speaker 1: 20:27

Oh yeah, what's the day look like out there today?

Speaker 3: 20:30

It's beautiful, sunny clear skies and about 78, and not humid.

Speaker 1: 20:36

That does sound perfect, yeah.

Speaker 3: 20:38

For us that is.

Speaker 1: 20:39

How did you first encounter park golf?

Speaker 3: 20:42

if I can ask, yeah, I actually encountered it through my dad. He kind of brought the concept home with him from Japan. He's a professional wrestler named the Destroyer and he's an avid golfer. I'm one of his tours to Japan. A friend introduced him to park golf and he said man, this would be great in the US. He came home with clubs and balls and put two holes up and down his front lawn.

Speaker 1: 21:09

That very much sounds like a person who puts his mind to something and then gets it done. That's incredible. Yeah, it is. That actually answers what my next question would have been, which was where does the named Destroyer Park Golf come from? That sounds like from your dad's wrestling name, the Destroyer.

Speaker 3: 21:26

Yes, it does. Park golf obviously came from Japan. They wanted to use better use of public park space. My dad was a very famous wrestler both in the US and in Japan. We named it after him and it's his legacy, so we can say Amazing.

Speaker 1: 21:44

That's awesome. I love the name Dick Beyer. Chris's dad was a professional wrestler who was best known as his masked alter egos, the Destroyer and Dr X, wrestling extensively in Japan against many of the other top names of the industry during the 60s and 70s. He was huge. I was looking at clips and interviews of the Destroyer and found people ranking him as the number one masked wrestler of his time, and you can find great highlight reels of some of his matches on YouTube. The Destroyer passed away in 2019 at age 88. But a museum of his memorabilia and media from his decorated pro wrestling career is open in the clubhouse at Destroyer Park Golf the perfect place for any fans of the Destroyer or Park Golf to visit. How long have you guys been open? When did Destroyer Park Golf first open?

Speaker 3: 22:39

We first opened in June of 2013.

Speaker 1: 22:44

Oh, next year will be 10 years, amazing.

Speaker 3: 22:47

So this is our 10th season, but next year will be our official 10-year anniversary.

Speaker 1: 22:52

Awesome, well, congratulations, that's fantastic. So when you were opening it up back in 2013, was it difficult to find the right place to set up a park golf course?

Speaker 3: 23:05

Actually, that's probably the most interesting part of the story is my dad owned property out here in Akron. He owns about 81 acres of farmland that's becoming more and more residential, so we actually put it on part of the farmland that he owned. Oh, okay, so we have plenty of room and we put up a new barn that became like our machine shop as well as our pro shop area. We actually had the land, so that was very helpful.

Speaker 1: 23:36

So that's where it is now.

Speaker 3: 23:38

That's so cool, that's where it is. So we had to turn the farmland into nice course material. But other than that we were very, very lucky to have the property.

Speaker 1: 23:49

So when is the normal park golf season there in Akron, New York, run from and to?

Speaker 3: 23:56

Yeah. So luckily for us we've got the good example from Japan Park. Golf started in the Northern Island of Japan, hokkaido. They have exactly the same temperature that we do, very similar as far as agriculture is concerned cows, corn, butter, cheese, that kind of stuff. We run pretty much the same calendar that they do in the Northern Island. We run from May until October.

Speaker 1: 24:22

Yeah, when I was looking up where you were, it was actually the same latitude as Sapporo, which is the capital city of Hokkaido.

Speaker 3: 24:30

Wow, yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:32

I know Japan loves their regulations, so is there a process where Japanese park golf officials have to come out and regularly check your course out, or do you have to do anything to fulfill regulations or anything like that?

Speaker 3: 24:48

We chose to fulfill their regulations and we did go through the entire process of having them actually certify our course. So we are the only sanctioned certified course actually in North America by the Japan Park Golf Association. We are a member of their association but we also myself and many of the business kind of a wide range of people from the businesses that we know and interact with formed a not-for-profit organization, the International Park Golf Association of America. There is a website on that, wwwipgacom, where we are hoping and we have been working towards helping people to open up park golf courses here in the US but that meet the regulations of the Japanese traditional park golf.

Speaker 1: 25:46

That would be incredible. Yeah, I had found in my research. I had found that you guys were the only ones in America, the only ones in North America at all.

Speaker 3: 25:56

Yeah, there is actually one more they had bought equipment from us, came out and checked up on our course, etc. And they were actually located in Ohio.

Speaker 1: 26:07

Oh, excellent.

Speaker 3: 26:08

But that's the only other 18-hole park golf course. It's come at Hawking Hills RV Resort and their name of their course is Worm Burners Park Golf.

Speaker 1: 26:20

And what part of Ohio is that in?

Speaker 3: 26:23

It's near Akron Ohio.

Speaker 1: 26:24

Okay, akron, new York.

Speaker 3: 26:25

Akron Ohio that's it, but we actually have hosted everything from a wedding to a life celebration. This next weekend we have a Jack and Jill party.

Speaker 1: 26:38

I mean, I gotta admit I would take pretty much any opportunity to get out on the links in place in park golf, so I can't blame people for using any reason as a reason to go out golfing. Yes, and there's just something about the way they've engineered it where it's just such a satisfying. When you get a good whack at it, it feels great, I don't know. I don't have a poetic way to describe it.

Speaker 3: 27:04

No, but actually it's interesting that you say that, because part of the design requirements for certified equipment for the ball is bounce height, which I would imagine would be the same for golf, but also sound Like what's what? What decibel range that that sound has to hit no-transcript. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:24

I didn't know that's part of the process. That's really cool. How do you pitch the idea of park golf to someone who's never played before? Or how do you kind of hook, hook, a new hook, a new person into it?

Speaker 3: 27:36

I think that that was probably that, not even that was probably. It was the most difficult part of opening the first park golf course here in the US. Is that? Trying to explain it is Difficult, so really it really takes a person to put a club in their hand and to hit the ball right. It. We tell them that it's like put, put on steroids or that somebody's you know shrunk golf, yeah, anybody, at any age, can play. You still have to get the ball in the hole. So there's still is the element of accuracy. And Still for the first few years, actually up until the last couple years people like, oh, I don't play golf, I'm like, okay, golfers in the name, but it's like not golf right, or they're a seasoned golfer and they're like, oh, yeah, whatever, you know you're basically talking about many when they cross over and they try it, to be honest, they're hooked.

Speaker 1: 28:34

And I think you're right that once you get someone to play a little bit, there's no more explanation needed. It explains itself right away.

Speaker 3: 28:42

Yeah, I agree, you know, oh, probably the best advertisement that we've had. We advertised in the beginning, but again, very difficult to explain what park golf is in a TV ad, radio commercial print ads. So we rely now on social media and word of mouth almost a hundred percent. A gentleman from a TV program called adventures in golf. He travels all over the world doing episodes on unique golf Adventures, just like it sounds, and he came here and did an episode and we have had so much traffic the. The program is sponsored by United Airlines, so people have seen it on the United Airlines flight and then and then they come here.

Speaker 1: 29:31

They want to become the destination, exactly, yeah, very cool. Is there anything else I've forgotten to ask, or that you'd like to add, or anything at all?

Speaker 3: 29:39

Yeah, it's a great. It's a great way for people to come out enjoying an afternoon, you know, out in the natural setting that was part of Japan Park golf hope and mission was that it would be a way for people to get out in Nature and kind of feel that harmony with nature, as they were able to enjoy enjoy a game with friends.

Speaker 1: 30:02

Thank you so much for your time and Thanks.

Speaker 3: 30:07

You know, have your listeners check out our golf, our park golf site, destroyer Park golf, calm, and there's a great video on there of the TV program that I just told you about and that will give you the Best overview of park golf that you can imagine.

Speaker 1: 30:22

Fantastic. We'll send them there. Destroyer park golf, calm, very cool. Thank you so much, chris. I'll I'll let you get back out to enjoying the perfect days. That's on, all right.

Speaker 3: 30:31

Okay, yeah, thank you so much, scott. Thank you for taking the time to share. You know my dad's dream.

Speaker 1: 30:38

So, yeah, it was great talking with Chris about their course out there, destroyer and her dad and the sport itself. Be sure to check out their site at destroyer park golf calm, where they've done an amazing job of showing off their course and you can see the video segment we talked about, which is about nine minutes and really good, under the what is park golf tab. I also looked up the other part golf course she mentioned. It's called worm burner park golf and it's in Logan, ohio, which is about two and a half hours south of Akron. Their website is worm burner park golf calm and Both courses have great websites and are very active on Facebook. Also, of course, if you're in or around Akron, new York or Logan Ohio, think about getting a group of friends or family together and treat yourselves to a nice day outside Playing around or to a park golf the surprising king of all sports. Oh, and while I had Chris on the phone missing a nice day outside, I had one final question. I know I gave you a heads up that I wanted to ask something a little weird and here it is If, if there was a word and I mean there's probably not, but if there was a word, like a secret code word between golf course owners that you say to them and then they let you play park golf on a regular golf course. And I'm not saying there is a word like that. In fact I'm saying there's probably definitely not a word like that. But Hypothetically, if there was, what do you think or imagine that word might be? Or is there a word that you would put in that answer?

Speaker 3: 32:13

Yeah. The definite word that I would put in that answer is destroyer.

Speaker 1: 32:18

Destroyer.

Speaker 3: 32:19

Yeah, that's the word I would definitely use.

Speaker 1: 32:21

Okay, thank you.

Speaker 3: 32:23

And it does not exist, but I think of the week's cart. Well, thank you.

Speaker 1: 32:26

I'm saying I believe you it doesn't wink. I understand wink, wink, yeah. So I should probably explain that. I know it's weird and I know I'm weird, but that's just like a little more than my usual level, right? Well, there's a 90s sitcom I've always loved called news radio. It was about a bunch of people working in a news radio station, hence the name. And there's an episode in season 3, episode 15, titled Rose Bowl. It aired February 5th 1997 on NBC. The A story in Rose Bowl is about the employees evaluating each other's performance and it's great, typical, hilarious news radio stuff. But the reason I'm bringing this episode up is because of the B story. In this plotline the station's eccentric billionaire owner, jimmy James, played by Steven Root, brings in a box of stuff to show station manager Dave, played by Dave Foley.

Speaker 4: 33:24

What you doing? Oh, just doing some editing on the. Oh, what's that? Just inching to take a look at some Hollywood movie memorabilia.

Speaker 1: 33:31

No, I'm doing some editing, okay.

Speaker 4: 33:32

Okay, you win memorabilia. It is Well. Thanks, sir, you don't normally give in so easily. Yeah, I'm feeling generous because I just bought a whole box of this movie memorabilia stuff from a big collector. Hey, do you ever see Ten Commandments? I just about once a year. Oh yeah, all right, get ready. Are you ready? All right? The original stone tablet Charlton hasn't carried in the Ten Commandments.

Speaker 1: 33:54

This one's way smaller.

Speaker 4: 33:56

I thought it would be bigger than that. Yeah, I think they use some special effects on it.

Speaker 1: 34:01

Here's the other one, uh-huh and the second tablet he pulls out is a completely different size and color.

Speaker 4: 34:07

We are talking with the Ten Commandments, for Charlton has to know me. Yeah, I don't know. I've never seen it.

Speaker 1: 34:11

It's obvious that Jimmy has bought a box of fake movie memorabilia, but Dave has to tell him that because he's oblivious. So in this next scene, jimmy James is sitting in the break room with the station fix it guy, joe Gorelli, played by a young Joe Rogan and if you're familiar with podcasts, yes, it's that Joe Rogan. But Jimmy and Joe hatch a plan.

Speaker 4: 34:33

Okay that's it. I am taking them to court. Well, I guess if anybody's got the legal team to pull it off, you do. No, my lawyers have left me out of court. No way I'm telling them about this. No, I will be representing myself, sir, you know what they say the man who represents himself as a fool for a client. Yeah well, who do you suggest me? Excellent, me and Joe were talking about the legal system. See, I'm suing the guy to rip me off for this stuff. Yeah, all right. Well, when you're done, joe, I need you out there.

Speaker 1: 35:03

I'm not gonna be done for a while I'm Jimmy's lawyer.

Speaker 4: 35:07

Jimmy's case is in the bag. We know something at the other side, doesn't? Mm-hmm, what's that? They're all federal, state, local judges and members of a certain obscure sector. The Freemasons now hold on hold on. Our strategy Is that all judges are masons. There's more to it than that. Like why? Well, there's a secret Masonic word which, when uttered, obligates judges to ruin your favor and they have to go paddle each other off in a secret cave somewhere. And what's that? I could tell you, but then I have to kill you. Okay, but it better be good. Clearly, you're in good hands. Counsel good day. Wait a minute, but my, you're basing my whole case on some silly secret word. Joe, give it up, I get it. Tell me genuinely. How was the?

Speaker 1: 36:07

My strategy all right, and so that was what made me ask Chris the question about if there was a word I could say to do the same thing for me in my quest. How does it turn out for Jimmy and Joe in court, though?

Speaker 4: 36:18

Would Jimmy James please approach the bench and this would be your counsel. Yes, I am the master builder awaits the bearman. I beg your pardon, I bet you do. Okay, and would the defendant please approach the bench? Okay, this is the guy that sold me the stuff. He just you know. Just stay cool, because he's a real shark. Hello, kyle.

Speaker 1: 36:47

I've never seen this dude before in my life, and the gag here is that he's just a teenager. Jimmy and Joe proceed to put on a terrible and incoherent case, and here's what the judge has to say to them at the end.

Speaker 4: 36:59

You have successfully proven that you have a large box full of junk. I applaud you. Not since the People vs Junkyard Jones has a box full of junk been quite so thoroughly documented. In fact, if I were this young man, I would counter-sue you for reckless prosecution and for defamation of character and for just generally wasting everybody's time. Do you have anything to say in your defense, tubal cane? I hereby find in favor of the guy with the box full of junk, and I sentenced the kid to one month in a juvenile ward for psychiatric evaluation.

Speaker 1: 37:50

The judge marches past the shocked courtroom as the bailiff puts the kid in cuffs, giving Joe and Jimmy the sudden wing, and that concept just stuck around in my brain all this time. Clearly, some things just worm their way into my brain and then they stay there forever. I've remembered the nonsense word tubal cane for decades now, I guess similarly to how I remember the crack of hitting a park golf ball so vividly too. In Takikawa, the closest park golf course to where we lived was one of my favorites. But exploring Hokkaido and finding new courses was part of the fun of it all. We would go all over and try out any course we came across. Park golf was a part of where we traveled, where we camped and where we went to the onsen. At my peak I was probably playing 18 holes with friends after work, three to four times a week, and usually one, if not both, the weekend days. It was fortunately something I shared, in common with my girlfriend, with my guy friends, with my northern friends and with my musical friends. Oh yeah, I was part of a stage musical we put on in Hokkaido, but that's a different story. When my parents came to visit me in Hokkaido, I went with my dad, and he enjoyed it so much that for Christmas that year I gathered up a set of my recycle shop clubs and got them back to the States for him as a present. What dad ended up doing was making use of an existing disc golf course that was set up where he lived. He would play there when it wasn't being used for disc golf. I couldn't really imagine how that worked when my dad first told me it, but partly because I hadn't ever played disc golf before. Disc golf spaces your tee off place a good distance away from your target for the hole, which is a large metal basket with a series of chains around the upper part to snare discs that hit it. The disc in disc golf is a Frisbee-like disc you use to throw at the basket. Eventually, getting it in, my dad was going down to the disc golf course at the nearby college and hitting part golf balls on it, going hole for hole, teeing off at the tee's and having his standard for completing the hole be hitting the pole with the part golf ball. I honestly didn't really understand how disc golf worked until I played it myself for the first time on a vacation to Missoula Montana one summer. It turns out I really liked it. I enjoyed being outdoors and the game, while challenging and me being not particularly good at it never reached the wrong side of frustration, where things just shift from simply challenging to fully unpleasant. I think I took that and added it to what I knew about myself and golf, which is that I don't like regular golf but I like mini golf, and I always have. I'd had many a childhood mini golf, birthday party, family mini golf night and teenage mini golf date. Well, maybe not many of that last one, but a few. I like mini golf because it's about golf a little, but it's also open for button mashers, like a video game, where I feel if I just bounce it off enough angles, maybe it'll find the perfect through line and get into the hole. I love putt putt mini golf, but I don't like regular golf. That's just how it is. And then I tried park golf and I loved it. So then now I love mini golf and park golf and disc golf, but I don't like regular golf, though am I sure of that, truth be told, I actually haven't ever played a game of regular golf. Golf like golf. I don't like regular golf, but I do like it. I don't like regular golf, but I really do like it. I do like it. I don't like it, I don't like it. Truth be told, I actually haven't ever played a game of regular golf golf like never. I just assumed I wouldn't like it and never tested that theory, even when I tried and loved every single other kind of golf I've encountered. I've practiced putting. I've been to a driving range a handful of times, I've spent an hour trying to make my Tiger Woods character as close to me as the game allows, but I'd never played a real game of regular golf golf. So I started asking people around me if anyone would be interested in playing a game of golf sometime. I think this is where the divide happens with most real golf players. They can't fathom me wanting to go out without practicing a bunch, and I really just want to play one round of golf to more than anything else. Say I've done it, so I'm not worried if I go out there and do awful. It's more just a matter of finding the perfect person to humor me while I'm being awful. All right, so I hit record and I'm in the car now with Jeff. Oh, am I allowed to use your name?

Speaker 2: 42:47

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1: 42:49

I'm all over the internet. I've been, I've been in the car with my friend, jeff Clemens, and we are on our way to golf for me for the first time ever. So, and my secret, my secret sub plan, is to see at some point if I can get the park golf equipment out and do some park golfing on the regular golf course. So I went with Jeff. He's a longtime friend. I met him and his wife when they were also in Takikawa, japan, teaching English. Jeff's a great guy anyway and he's a real life Canadian on top of that, making him just about the nicest golf partner I could ever hope to find for my first round of golf ever. He lives with his family in Calgary, canada, but they had stopped by Oakland to see us for a few days on their way back home from Comic Con in San Diego this year, like Chabot, golf course. Yeah yeah, okay, so let's get our stuff out. All right, so we head into the clubhouse, I assume. Hello, hello, checking in for a tea time.

Speaker 2: 43:58

Where it is our first time at this course. Yeah, if you go down this route across the street where it says part return it's going to be the first thing on the left.

Speaker 1: 44:06

Sweet, Thank you. Turn left. I think this is it.

Speaker 2: 44:13

Is that the hole there? That's the hole. That's not very far at all. No, we're playing because we're on a part three. It'll be a little bit shorter.

Speaker 1: 44:19

All right, so we're on a part three. That's a thing that means something to golfers, but I'm learning.

Speaker 2: 44:25

So our part is based on how long the goal is. So if the course is a shorter, like a part three course, like we're on, all the holes are shorter.

Speaker 1: 44:35

So they're saying part three on here as in like maybe you drive it, maybe your second shot you get it closer and your third shot you put it in, ideally in a perfect world, so a new ideal with a part three is that your first shot goes on the grain.

Speaker 2: 44:49

Oh, okay, and your second, and then you take two pots.

Speaker 1: 44:51

It's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 2: 44:52

Okay, that's how it always. That's the idea.

Speaker 1: 44:54

Okay.

Speaker 2: 44:55

And so the hope is that you can get a birdie.

Speaker 1: 44:58

Birdie. Birdie is one under par. There's one under par. See, I do know these terms from part off. This is the Lake Chippewa golf course, about 10 minutes away from the studio. It's a part three and when we got there it really looked sort of like a park golf course. Lake Chippewa has a larger 18 hole course, but the nine hole course is a total of 1023 yards, making it a short course in terms of regular golf, which I guess is just what a par three course means to golf folk. But I was still learning.

Speaker 2: 45:30

So do you want to lead off?

Speaker 1: 45:32

I guess so.

Speaker 2: 45:33

Or do you want me to?

Speaker 1: 45:35

No, I'll do it. I'll do it, so I'm going to pull out my driver.

Speaker 2: 45:39

Um, probably want more like a three wood or five wood.

Speaker 1: 45:43

I have a three wood or five wood, three wood.

Speaker 2: 45:46

Because you won't hit quite as far, I mean I'm not going to hit that far anyway.

Speaker 1: 45:50

Oh my gosh, this is nerve wracking. Okay, I'm hitting my first shot off of hole one. Okay, all right, I hit it. I don't know where it went. Oh, there, it is About halfway to the hole. Okay, all right, so I should back away. Well, jeff hits his first shot. He's using what club are you using? A nine iron, which is what he said I should use next. Whoa Nice, much farther, a beautiful bounce gave you back toward the green. Beautiful shot, very nice. Yeah, the ting of hitting the ball was very satisfying. I remembered that being the case from driving ranges years ago and indeed it is still the same. We continue to play the first couple of holes. There we go Chip, chip, chip, chip. Oh yeah, too hot, I didn't know I had that kind of power with this. Okay, cool, all right. Way too weak. Six, all right, okay, and how do we know where number two is? Oh, beautiful, I see Gotcha. Okay, here we are Right up the hill. Okay, good advice, thank you.

Speaker 2: 47:23

Yeah, you cranked that one.

Speaker 1: 47:25

That felt good. I can see the allure Like that that ting is really. It's really fun and satisfying. Yeah for sure. I feel like. I feel like I'm more tended to over hit it than under hit it. Come on, come on, come on. Got onto the green and it didn't go past. I'm happy with that Boom. Get in the hole. One, two, three, four. That was four. I'm happy. That's one over. Ooh, nice, nice, nice, jeffrey, that is a beautiful putt. Very nicely done this is a hole for putting yeah, Okay so that's the farthest one yet, yeah. Yeah this one's 100. Should I get the driver out?

Speaker 2: 48:18

I'd use your three-hand. You're hitting real good with it.

Speaker 3: 48:22

Oh man, it's good to try that driver out sometime you could.

Speaker 1: 48:25

No One. 62. This is the longest one. Well, this is the one. I got to try it out. Yeah, this is the one you got to try. If I'm going to use my driver, I got to try it here. Okay, that's the. Is it a one?

Speaker 2: 48:39

It's a one.

Speaker 1: 48:40

The one would. It's a one, is it so? How is this different? Are they longer handles or are they bigger? A bigger head.

Speaker 2: 48:49

It's different. Uh lost in elevation.

Speaker 1: 48:52

Oh, I see that Like it's. It's pitched at a different angle.

Speaker 2: 48:55

Yeah, so this one won't get as much height, but it gets a whole lot more directional Boom.

Speaker 1: 49:00

Oh okay, all right, let's try it out. And here we go. First shot with the driver oh, hop, skip, jumper up there. I'm happy with that. It went right up the middle, I'm okay, I might be the only shot I hit with this club. That was the only shot I hit with that club. And then Jeff wisely noted that we were sort of away from any prying eyes or other players and pointed out that this could be a pretty good spot for some ulterior motivating. Or, I want to hit a par golf ball. I will hit a par golf ball here. Would you like to hit a par golf ball? Yeah, here you are, thank you. And here I are, and I have two clubs, neither of which I have any attachment to anymore. So whichever you like Works. I remember this one from the one with this. Yeah, I haven't gotten any new ones recently. I have to say, okay, I'm going to hit a par. Oh, I've not done this in so long. Here we go, par golf. Now that's a satisfying crack to me, dude, the crack I'm going to get a little. I'm just going to stand a little close to you so I can hear your hit. Nice, oh, that was beautiful. Look at that shot. And as satisfying as that ting was on the golf club, the crack of that par golf ball, the first one I've hit in years, was actually far, far more satisfying. I have to say, all right. So now that we're, I guess I hit my par golf first. All right, oh, this is so nice to be playing par golf. Nice little crack right over there toward the hole. Slow down and okay, with that, all right. And then nine iron is probably for my regular. Yeah, nice, chip up on there. There, it is All right, chipped this over. Oh, I'm going a little sideways, but it is kind of weird adjusting for the two different hits. It's a really nice hit. All right, park golf time. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so close. If that was a regulation park golf sized hole, that would probably have, of course. Okay, this is the first test to see how well it. I mean, it's definitely a smaller hole than a park golf hole, but I mean it works. Jeff, we just played a whole park golf in America. Oh, there's people behind us, okay, cool. Yeah, I don't think we should do that on every hole, but that was a good one for it. No, good call, that was good. I was like there's no one behind us, that was the time. And if that, if there's not another time, then we at least got it. Oh, that was satisfying, that was very satisfying. I'm pretty sure Jeff and I had just played the first hole of park golf that has ever been played in California, actually probably on the whole West Coast. We continued on to the next hole. This is a steep down, like. So there's like a square platform up top and then way down there is the hole. Like wait, like there's a lot of elevation between us, it's a down elevation. Why can't I talk about stuff? It's down elevation. I know I'm my brain is malfunctioning because I got to hit the park golf ball. So there's the pin. Here we are. Okay, cool, here we go. Don't hit it all the way left and keep my head down. If you can see it, it's going to roll down the hill, but that's okay, I can. I can find that. Yeah, have to say this would also be really satisfying to hit a park golf ball. I might do that. All right, I'm doing this. It's just too, it's too tempting. Okay, this is just too tempting not to launch it off of this. All right, let's see. There we go. Oh nice, oh so lovely, and that's a beautiful shot. Man, I'm so much better with the park golf club than I am with the regular golf club. I've a lot more practice for sure. All right, how do we get down there now? To be fair, the really fun part of that of hitting the park golf ball was the initial shot. On that one. I can just be able to crack it off of that. I felt I was going to be unstoppable without. When I had to hit it there, I had to look for my first hit and eventually wrote it off as a gift to the out of bounds gods and took a drop to continue. But by that time the party behind us had caught up. So I just finished the hole for my regular golf ball and not my park golf ball. We just played regular golf after that, which went pretty so. So with the one exception of this hole. Now do I want to not hit my wood because I've been cranking it with that? Should I try the nine?

Speaker 2: 54:52

Try the nine you can put like a seven.

Speaker 1: 54:55

Okay, I've never seen you use a seven. How is the seven different than a nine?

Speaker 2: 55:00

A little less loft, okay, a little more distance.

Speaker 1: 55:03

Oh, all right, that felt good. What, what, what, what. That was a legit good hit. That was amazing. Okay, I'm happy with that, like a real thing. This one. I'm happy with that. That looks like it's a real thing. I'm going to hit my two About 20 feet away here. All right, let's give this a shot. Nope, it's my three par, that's right. The most impressive golf highlight I have is of me achieving the average. Whoa, okay, so I liked the club I used.

Speaker 2: 56:10

Yeah, that was good, that iron.

Speaker 1: 56:11

Should I try that again? Maybe seven iron? Yeah, okay, I'm not against it, I had good results. And do I have one bad hit with it and then I'll be like forever you are banished. So this is seven. We have three left. Yeah, this is enjoyable.

Speaker 2: 56:35

That's going to go good, hey.

Speaker 1: 56:39

All right, I'm happy with that. I'll take a seven. Yes, I don't need to take my scorecard home and burn it or anything. I'm not ashamed of how I've done.

Speaker 2: 56:48

That's the first round.

Speaker 1: 56:50

I'll find, with this, nine holes. This is what everyone was talking about Golf, this is golf. And then, a mere 80 ish minutes after we started, jeff and I found ourselves at the ninth hole, the final one for this course. What do you think? Nine from here? There's nine Iron. You're hitting them pretty hard. The irons are. I'm with you on this iron thing they're easier to control. It's doing me well. All right, here we are, man, I didn't get much of it. I need one more piece because I intend to do two things here, cause this is whole nine and I'm doing the part. The guys aren't even on our tail yet. So here I go, I'm going to hit this part golf ball on hole nine. Oh, that one felt great Dude, that just feels so good hitting that ball. I mean even just back to back with the golf. It's just there's no comparison. They've done something with the part golf ball that has made it so satisfying to hit. I saw my part golf ball. It's, it's a beautiful shot. I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie, but we'll see it when it gets up there.

Speaker 2: 58:22

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1: 58:24

I figured the risk. The risk now is very low, all right. So I'm still looking at my nine. Is that right? Probably I don't do. I have a P, I have a P. I have a shot. I have a.

Speaker 2: 58:38

I'll go up a little higher.

Speaker 1: 58:40

All right, using the P club P. Do you have to say P when you hit it? All right, let's see P. Oh, that was nice, that does go up. That's very satisfying. Okay, zing Zang, I'm mad at that. Now there's a part golf ball out here somewhere. Oh, it's right in front of me. Whoa, okay, great, I was happy with my shot and that is why I'm going to level up this part golf ball first. Now, that is about as straight as I could have hoped for. About 30 feet, too hot, but right on the money as far as aim, pretty much. If that had been a part golf sized hole, we could have that could have gone in. And then I've got a little part golf business here to finish. There we go In the hole. Ninth ball, ninth hole of the course. We did it. We did it All right, I'll grab my stuff, we'll get out of their way and then go Telly up. I guess that was really pleasant, jeff, thank you.

Speaker 2: 1:00:07

Yeah, that was fun.

Speaker 1: 1:00:09

It's really fun, all right, so do we have to go back in or anything? We just leave, we're good. Well, there you go. What I loved about part golf is so many of the places were free, or, if anything, they were like I don't know 500 yen.

Speaker 2: 1:00:22

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:00:23

You're like okay, that's way affordable. So the end result of the the course is a part 27. Yeah, you shot a 40. I shot a 49.

Speaker 2: 1:00:34

It's really good for your first round.

Speaker 1: 1:00:36

I'm not mad at a 49.

Speaker 2: 1:00:40

Well, so did you. Did you enjoy your first?

Speaker 1: 1:00:42

I really did. That was really enjoyable, I think. I mean thanks you as well. I think you were the right person to go with because there was no frustration or pressure at all and you had great advice for me and, yeah, that was really fun. Also, you know part golf, so my shenanigans with wanting to hit a little part golf aren't quite as ridiculous with you. No, I think that turned out really well. How about you I? really enjoyed it and we are pulling up back in home after successfully completing my first round of golf ever. Couldn't have gone better, I have to say. I'm so happy with that. Thank you so much, jeff. That was super fun. Thanks for letting me be part of that. Oh man, thank you, and let me stop recording it, and hopefully this all turns out. Bye, bye, all right. So we're back here at the house. It's been a few hours since the golf and I'm here with Jeff on the mic. Thanks for coming out with me. I had a lot of fun. Yeah, I hope it wasn't like awkward for you at all, but that was a lot of fun for me.

Speaker 2: 1:01:53

It was great fun. Like when you first suggested like hey, I want to go golfing for the first time, I was like, oh yeah, I totally would be in for that. Like that's something I would 100% do.

Speaker 1: 1:02:04

And I got to do, I want to say two and a half holes as part golf holes as well. It all worked out well. So I was pretty chuffed about it. I was pretty happy. So you lived in Hokkaido as well with us. That's where we met and we played a lot of part golf. Do you have like a comparison between golf and park? You had played golf before, park golf Obviously. So what are your thoughts on park golf? How did you enjoy or how did you discover it, or what do you remember, I guess?

Speaker 2: 1:02:34

Well, so you, you were actually the one that taught us part.

Speaker 1: 1:02:37

Oh, really Did I drag you out there, I was like, yeah, I'm going to say yes Because you said it's awesome.

Speaker 2: 1:02:51

I feel like that could go very poorly at some point here. Totally hey, let's do this. It's awesome, sure, that's, I'll do it.

Speaker 1: 1:02:59

And it could go, terry, it hasn't yet but turns out it's robbing a bank and I think that's awesome and you just committed a felony.

Speaker 2: 1:03:05

Yeah, but I mean we're Canadians, so we'll just, we'll just go up, we'll all go up, and I think that's the best time is people love it Totally the thing to do but yeah you, you took us out and we went, as all of all of the foreigners. And I mean the interesting thing about being a foreigner is, you know, like you're like, oh, you speak English and I speak English.

Speaker 1: 1:03:23

We're friends, we have an instant connection, we're instantly friends and we're both experiencing this like Completely different sort of thing that you never had before. So you, you're tied together on that like core level. With everyone you meet who's a foreigner, and you're just like oh and you can go from there, and then that's a great bouncing board to start a friendship, I feel yeah, and so you, you said you've got to try this.

Speaker 2: 1:03:46

And we said okay, and we, we gathered together all like the first time we went was in the it was the town next to us, I think it was in was the one where the foxes all the time on the course shinto tzukala, shinto tzukala.

Speaker 1: 1:03:58

That was our favorite.

Speaker 2: 1:03:59

That was one of our favorite ones, yeah and so you, you all, took us over to shinto tzukala and you were like Okay, there's this giant ball, this is the ball we're going that okay. Okay, and here's the club. It's some weird combination of a, a putter and a driver together Yep, and we just hit the ball into the hole In the least strokes possible and it was that moment. It's, this is golf. Yeah, but it was also free there, or, I think, free.

Speaker 1: 1:04:29

Yeah, I think it was. Yeah, if you had your own equipment and you showed up, you just yeah, it's just there be played on which yeah, it was that moment.

Speaker 2: 1:04:37

It's like, okay, let's, let's do park golf and and so we play. I think we played two rounds that day and and so, like I just, we went to all these different courses and it was a great way to see these little towns. Mm-hmm and then also all of you had these cool things in each of those little towns that you would. You had traveled to park golf, we'd found, and then you had found something cool, yeah, in that town. Like you're like, oh hey, we're gonna drive to this town, we're gonna stop at this roadside weird place, yeah, and we're gonna eat corn dogs, but they're called American dogs. Yeah, and they're phenomenal.

Speaker 1: 1:05:11

Okay, I want to break in here for a second. I know that corn dog. This is from years ago and I know the exact corn dog he's talking about. It's from this highway food stand in Mikasa, a small town just north of Sapporo, that we would pass by when we were going there. But he's right, this place served the best corn dogs I've ever had, and I grew up in the Midwest going to county fairs and old settler stays every summer, so that's actually an incredibly high bar. I've even been thinking about making an entire episode about corn dogs, and I still might, but this corn dog in Mikasa Was the real deal, so much so that before I became a vegetarian and I was a vegetarian for six years I did a training wheels period of like six months before leaving Japan, where I was completely vegetarian Except for two things, and one of them was corn dogs from Mikasa. Okay, back to my conversation with Jeff.

Speaker 2: 1:06:08

And, like, as we traveled around playing park golf, we had these cool other experiences.

Speaker 1: 1:06:13

So, yeah, but that's awesome. I I definitely used park golf as an excuse to travel around the island and Used traveling around the island as an excuse to park golf and like it was just once we owned our own clubs, once we got some at the recycle shop and I had like a set where I'm like we could play with four people or eight people or whatever. Then it was like it's on, anytime we can find a course, we'll just hop out and and you were always the ringleader for it.

Speaker 2: 1:06:41

You'd always be like, hey, let's, let's, let's, let's do park golf.

Speaker 1: 1:06:45

I don't think there was a day that I wouldn't be like have been in down for park golf. It was pretty much a bottomless cup for me.

Speaker 2: 1:06:53

Well it was, we be like hey, what do we want to do today? And you'd be like park golf, just immediately, park golf. And and yeah, okay, cool, where, I don't, I don't know, and it wasn't always you would have the answer of where. But it would be like all of these foreigners together and be like what are we gonna do? Park golf.

Speaker 1: 1:07:11

Yeah, oh, golf in general we talked a lot about, but is there anything else? Did you have any other thoughts on just golf in general? Since you've had a, you've had a longer history of golf than I have, for sure, at mine's hours old I.

Speaker 2: 1:07:25

I mean I think the I've had. I've been lucky enough now to experience multiple people their first time Going golfing, really, because my taking my daughter out and okay, how did I do compared to other people? I, you, you definitely did better than a snow, what oh? Okay, you did better than a seven-year-old. You actually did really good for a first time, and I'm not just being nice. I wasn't just being Canadian.

Speaker 1: 1:07:47

I wasn't ashamed of my performance. I'll tell you, I was okay with that.

Speaker 2: 1:07:50

It was. It was very consistent. Like you, you hit very straight, which I think is probably the park golf probably.

Speaker 1: 1:07:58

The compliments are nice, but the real reason I was riding high at that moment was that I had just gotten to do something that I've been joking about for years but really actually wanted to try. I played my first round of golf, golf, golf Not a thing I think I'll do very regularly, but I'd definitely be down to go again sometime. I'd be far more than down if I knew I could slip in some more part golf, though. Jeff and I even talked about this on our drive home. No, that was really fun. I yeah, good first golf experience. I don't know that. It like Hooked me to the point where I'm good, I'm itching to get out there on the green again, but that was really fun. I mean the lure of being able to go out and hit a park golf ball. It would maybe get me out there on the green and sometimes in that I mean that course you could use.

Speaker 2: 1:08:53

I wonder. I feel like that course of any course could definitely like. I Bet you could ask about your your mind.

Speaker 1: 1:09:01

Yeah, you're not wrong, that is. That has some potential. So a little while later I asked my friend Alex if he'd be up to try something new and the two of us headed back to the Lake Shabou golf course with only one club Beach. Hello, yeah, I just had a weird question for you. Kind of, I was here last week playing golf on the nine hole course and I really liked it. I noticed it looked kind of perfect for another thing called Park golf. Have you ever heard of this? Okay, it's a Japanese sport, but I just I'll show you it's. It's just it's like kind of like the same as golf, except it's got here. Check it out. It's you just use one club.

Speaker 3: 1:09:44

This is.

Speaker 1: 1:09:44

Omar I'm talking to, and now I'm handing him my club so he can examine it for himself. The balls are big and so I was wondering if I could do greens fees and Then go out and play park golf through the course instead of for his big off or regular golf and and also destroyer I don't know if that there by to whatever yeah, shouldn't, shouldn't mess anything up, okay. Okay, can we do that. Then can I get two greens fees or whatever. We do that. Thank you, mopping MAU PIN. I paid for the round and we were out the door a second later. So I explained the whole news, radio and secret word then Chris had given me to Alex. I hadn't told him about it first because I was really nervous and I genuinely wasn't sure if I was going to back out of doing it at the last minute or not. We made our way to the first tee and I set up to hit first, about to play part golf on this par 3 regular golf course. All right, so my goal is to get a good, good crack from here, and you kind of have to hunch over. It's just weird, but it's super fun. That is great. Now. I recorded it before and it's still good on this mic, but this time, since I was playing with permission, I had brought a better device to really capture the sound of the crack. Here is that same shot I just hit, but from my field recorder. Oh man, did you hear that? I love that sound. Next up was Alex hitting a part golf ball for the first time ever. Yeah, you can set it up anywhere and just give it a nice crack. Nice, that's all good, that's all good. We'll find that he hit it off into the woods beside the fairway, which he went and got and then re-hit much straighter, but even so, once again, listen to the perfect sound that the field recorder captured of his first hit. We proceeded to play the nine holes out and we got to satisfyingly hit the park golf ball tons of times, tons and tons of times actually, because we're not great and it took us a while to get it into each hole, while also experiencing more than a few near misses due to the hole being a quarter of the size that it should be. Comparatively, yeah, and it's like each each course, I mean each hole is usually like probably twice as long what that would have been. That counts in a real, that counts in the sport we're technically playing. I keep expressing that same sentiment. I think if I become a regular part golf on golf, golf course player, that's gonna be something I'll just have to make peace with, okay, so now I'll get back to our round at the end of the ninth hole, last shot, hopefully last shot on the last hole, and that's around a part golf. We are the first people to play around a part golf on the western coast, you don't think?

Speaker 3: 1:14:26

anyone else just do what we just did.

Speaker 1: 1:14:29

No, I don't, no, I don't. I think we are the first. I think my, my buddy and I were the first ones to hit part golf on the entire probably Pacific Coast and I think we're the first ones to play nine, nine holes. If someone, I'll put out a call. If someone else played nine holes, please let me know. But I mean, I've definitely never heard of it before no well, what do you think, what's your, what, your opinion of? part golf right on. Well, thank you for coming out with me. I mean, I'm the first person to do that in the entire Pacific time zone ever. Wow, amazing. Am I glowing, can you tell? Do microphones here glowing? Hey, it's probably not all that different from how Neil Armstrong felt walking on the moon. Well, actually, destroyer part golf should be Neil Armstrong. I guess we would be buzz Aldrin then, wait, no, worm burner in Ohio would be buzz. Okay, then Michael Collins. I mean I'll take that the part golf, michael Collins. Oh, you mean Scott Moppen? Yeah, I think called worse. And with that part golf becomes the next entry into the perfect orium, the index of perfect things. Go to the show's website, perfect show podcast calm, to see pictures and videos related to this in each episode. For this one, I'll have pictures of my equipment, me playing golf, and a video of my awkward but effective swing, and and more. You can see all the entries to the perfect orium at the direct link for it. Perfect show podcast calm slash perfect orium. Special thanks to Chris Byer Jones, jeff Clemens and Alex Yelkamp for being on this episode and putting up with a large dose of my nonsense. Visit destroyer part golf in Akron, new York, or at destroyer part golf calm. Visit worm burner part golf in Logan Ohio or at worm burner part golf calm. Find the Japanese part golf association at part golf dot o r dot, jp. They have an English section so you can read it in either Japanese or switch it to all English and the International Part Golf Association of America you can find at IPGA a calm. You can find all that info and the links for all the music artists in the show notes and on this episode's webpage. As always, if you'd like to contact the show, you can email perfect show show at gmail calm and connect on Twitter, youtube or Instagram to the name perfect show show. This episode was recorded and mixed at Marina Studios in Oakland, california. Again, I'll remind you of the very obvious fact that I don't make these on a set schedule, so subscribing via your favorite pod portal really is the best way to get every episode, and if you are enjoying these and want to drop us a rating review, please do. It's the easiest way to support the show. I asked for new reviews last episode and that worked, so I'll do it one more time. Ratings and reviews help people find the show and I'm hoping for that to become the number one way people discover this podcast, taking over from what is currently number one, which is me hitting them up with a call or text saying hey, I have a podcast, would you be able to help me out with something for it? Also, if you do know me in person, we can just find some grass somewhere with a bit of space and I'll let you try out hitting the park golf ball a few times, because if you just give it one good crack, you'll understand everything immediately. And remember there's no such thing as a secret word that just automatically helps things go your way. Not in court and not in golf. That's definitely not a thing. But I mean, just in case, let me cover my basis here one more time. Real quick, abracadabra, two-bulking destroyer, candy man. All right, I think that's it anyway. Until next time, I'm Scott Moppin, and thanks for listening to the perfect show.

Speaker 3: 1:19:06

I need 50 eggs.