29. How to be a Better Listener with Kelsey Harbert | How Reflective Listening can make a Big Difference.

#29: In this episode, I talk with my dear friend Kelsey Harbert. Kelsey is a neuroscience student at the University of Colorado. Kelsey is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to all things neuroscience, the study of the brain and its impact on behavior and cognitive functions. What we discussed for the podcast is how to be a better listener! Something literally everyone could improve on if we’re being honest. I know I need a lot of help in this area. And I feel that those around me do too. What about you? 

Kelsey will explain the practice of Reflective Listening and how it can really help improve your listening skills and relationship with your partner, or anyone else for that matter. Kelsey has been practicing this with her partner for a while now and she can attest to how much it’s made a difference in her life.

Especially now, during quarantine and social distancing, where we are spending so much more time at home, it’s important to improve our communication skills. Listening is a major part of communication, but it’s something we’ve never really been formally taught how to do effectively. Plus, add smartphones and streaming tv,  it can feel like even when we are speaking to someone, the person on the other end might be glancing around, totally distracted. I dunno about you, but it feels awful when it’s being done to me. And then, I must admit, I do this to others! 

Here is what you can expect: 

What Reflective Listening is. 

The overall goal is to create an environment that’s a safe space for you and your family - where you don’t feel alone - and heard and listened to. 

The different ways to categorize it: 1) For you and your partner 2) For you, yourself

The signs that you’re not listening to others 

The signs that you’re not listening to yourself 

Which responses should we avoid when listening to someone? 

• Not problem solving, pity, saying something like, “that’s crazy that’s happening to you”  because these actually make people feel alone. 
• You just want to be heard  - people just want to be heard and listened to. 

To connect with Kelsey: www.instagram.com/askelseydoes/

To connect with Leyla: www.instagram.com/leylasarper/

Thank you for checking this episode out! If it brings you any value, please share with a friend, or maybe pass it along to your partner as a HINT ;)

Love you! Xo Leyla