Communicating with a critical Manager

In today´s episode of the ‘Professional Success Podcast’, host Sheila Boysen-Rotelli, a Master Certified Career Coach, Recruiter, and Talent Development Leader talks about how to communicate with a critical Manager. She discusses the ways that we can handle a very critical boss.

 

Episode Highlights: 

• We may have had bosses who inspired her, challenged and pushed her. She has had some that have bored her, and some that have even made her cry.
• Begin by understanding what might be triggering the bad behavior in your boss, so we can do this by starting with empathy.
• Without excusing the critical delivery mechanism, it might help to see if you can look past the criticism to the content in terms of figuring out why your boss is trying to communicate.
• You can say that you have some specific changes to suggest that might enhance your relationship with your boss and make both of you even more positive and productive as you work together.
• Make that request for better, and more balanced feedback and communication from your boss.
• You have the right to feel safe and respected at work, if a boundary has been pierced, don't ignore it. These are complicated times and the job market might feel a little intimidating but if your relationship with your boss isn't improving, it’s time to start planning your next move.

 

 

3 Key Points:

1. Recently, Sheila worked with two separate clients who have brought this as the main topic of struggling with an overly critical boss. The idea is that bosses can really vary in their style and how they like to work with others. How they communicate might just come down to the fact that some bosses really are better than others.
2. Sheila suggests that first, we need to assess the situation. Your boss does not have the right to behave badly but you do need to have some degree of control over your response to their behavior. So we can empathize with this critical boss. Sometimes understanding or imagining what the other person might be experiencing allows us to replace some of our emotions, anger, and defensiveness, with instead empathy and recognition. So begin by understanding what might be triggering the behavior and see if you're able to take some of your own reactivity off the table.
3. At this point, use language that's typical for your company's culture. So you might say that you would like to discuss your career development, or just sit down for a one-on-one. These are all legitimate reasons for meetings. So choose what feels most authentic to you and in line with the language that your organization uses. So feeling judged and criticized all the time can really weigh on us. Your goal in the conversation is to focus on the professional impact of what you've been experiencing, and lean into the opportunity and not the complaint.