The Birds and the Bees: Navigating the tricky conversations of parenthood - 208

In this episode of The Pulling Curls Podcast: Pregnancy & Parenting Untangled, host Hilary Erickson is joined by sexual health educator Amy Lang to discuss the birds and the bees conversation with kids. They cover topics such as the importance of comprehensive sex education, using accurate terminology for body parts, starting early with sex education, and how to create open communication within the family. This episode is sponsored by Family Routines, which helps create routines for less stress and easier conversations. So let's dive in and untangle the mysteries of discussing sex with children.

Big thanks to our sponsor Family Routines -- if you're looking to get into a routine (even working in this type of tricky conversation) -- it is the course for you!

Today's guest is Amy Lang:

Amy Lang, MA has been a sexual health educator for over 25 years. With her lively, engaging and down-to-earth style she helps parents become comfortable and confident talking with their kids. Amy’s books, online solutions center and podcast, show parents they really can become their kids' go-to birds and bees source.

Amy is still married to her first husband and they are getting the hang of parenting their recently launched man-child. She lives in Seattle WA and you can learn more about her work at BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com and BBKPros.com.

The Birds & Bees Solutions Center https://birdsandbeescourse.com - Everything you need to do a way better job at this than your parents did!

Links for you:

How the boner grows on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5XSwr47Xb8

Timestamps:

00:02:47 Start sex education at age five.
00:06:29 Safe Touch vs Unsafe Touch, use books for education
00:12:13 Importance of comprehensive sex education in schools.
00:14:20 Understanding consent and communication for better relationships.
00:17:36 Language correction: Virgin --> first time sex
00:23:46 Prepare for the conversation; get books, read them.
00:26:05 Be open, protect your child, trust matters.
00:29:33 Be open, trust your intuition, don't follow others.
00:31:11 Boys must take responsibility for pregnancy too.

Keypoints:

1. Importance of discussing values and reasons for waiting to have sex.
2. Emphasizing the significance of being in a loving, committed relationship and being able to openly discuss birth control and STIs with a partner.
3. The confusion surrounding terminology for female genitalia and the importance of using accurate language, like "vulva," in conversations about inappropriate touching.
4. Approaching sex education as a process, starting with using correct names for private body parts and gradually discussing reproductive anatomy around age five.
5. The benefits of comprehensive sexuality education starting at a young age, as seen in the Netherlands, to develop a healthy, natural view of sexuality and prevent misinformation.
6. The concept of being a little Netherlands, promoting open and accepting attitudes toward sexuality and relationships.
7. The importance of going against the norm if it benefits your children and family.
8. Recommendations for creating a safe environment for discussing sex at home, assessing whether your home is a safe space, and using books like "Birds and Bees and Your Kids" to prepare for the conversation.
9. Encouraging parents to do their own research, read the books beforehand, and address any discomfort to provide accurate and appropriate information to children.
10. The importance of boys understanding their responsibility in preventing pregnancy and the need for boys to take responsibility and always have condoms available.

Producer: Drew Erickson