The Danger of Shallow Forgiveness an interview with Kaya Oakes
Release Date: 01/26/2025
The Sex and Spirit Connection
queertheology's podcast
We’re back to explore the intricate relationship between spirituality and sexuality! We share our personal journeys, societal challenges, and the importance of integrating these aspects of identity to reframe how to view sexuality. We also delve into the complexities of desire, agency, and the political implications of sexual oppression. Shame and desire intertwine within theological contexts, which makes it all the more important to integrate one's faith with their sexual identity and experiences. There is an unmistakable sacredness to sexuality and it can lead to transcendent experiences....
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The Danger of Shallow Forgiveness an interview with Kaya Oakes
queertheology's podcast
We’re happy to welcome return guest Kaya Oakes back to the podcast for this episode to talk about her new book, “Not So Sorry: Abusers, False Apologies, and the Limits of Forgiveness.” Kaya Oakes is a journalist and author of six books. Her essays and journalism have appeared in many publications. She is also a faculty member in the College Writing Programs at UC Berkeley, where she teaches creative nonfiction, composition, and research writing. In this conversation, Kaya Oakes discusses her multifaceted identity as a teacher, writer, and cancer survivor, while exploring themes of...
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Shame-Sex Attraction with Lucas Wilson
queertheology's podcast
We are joined by author @lukeslamdunkwilson for this podcast episode to talk about his journey from being a former evangelical to a queer academic. Dr. Lucas Wilson is a SSHRC Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Toronto Mississauga, formerly the Justice, Equity, and Transformation Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Calgary. He is the editor of Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy. He is currently working on two interrelated monograph projects that examine evangelical homophobia and transphobia in the U.S. discussing the intertwining of his faith and queer...
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queertheology's podcast
In this interview, author, advocate, and therapist Chris Tompkins shares his personal journey of self-discovery as a gay man raised in a religious environment. He discusses the challenges of reconciling his identity with his faith, the impact of religious trauma, and the importance of awareness in parenting to support LGBTQ+ children. Chris talks about why he wrote his book, “Raising LGBTQ Allies,” and emphasizes the need for open conversations and practical strategies for parents to create a supportive environment for their kids, ultimately leading to a more inclusive society. ...
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The Cool Christians an Interview Jeff Hiller (Somebody Somewhere)
queertheology's podcast
We’re kicking off our winter guest series with an interview with Jeff Hiller, a hilarious actor and comedian in NYC, best known for his role as Joel in the Peabody Award-winning HBO show ‘Somebody Somewhere.’ If you haven’t watched this show yet, be sure to check it out! In this conversation, Jeff Hiller discusses his role in the show, exploring themes of authenticity, community, and the intersection of queerness and faith. Jeff reflects on his character Joel, who navigates life in a small town while fostering connections and grappling with personal ethics. We talk about the evolution...
info_outlineWe’re happy to welcome return guest Kaya Oakes back to the podcast for this episode to talk about her new book, “Not So Sorry: Abusers, False Apologies, and the Limits of Forgiveness.” Kaya Oakes is a journalist and author of six books. Her essays and journalism have appeared in many publications. She is also a faculty member in the College Writing Programs at UC Berkeley, where she teaches creative nonfiction, composition, and research writing. In this conversation, Kaya Oakes discusses her multifaceted identity as a teacher, writer, and cancer survivor, while exploring themes of forgiveness, the writing process, and the complexities of social justice. She delves into the nuances of apologies, the importance of empathy, and the often weaponized nature of forgiveness in queer and trans communities. Kaya also shares insights from her new book, emphasizing the need for specificity in apologies and the interconnectedness of forgiveness, repentance, and reparations.
Takeaways
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Kaya Oakes identifies as a teacher and writer with a focus on gender and health.
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Her writing is often driven by personal obsessions and societal issues.
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The writing process for Kaya is spontaneous and research-driven, often starting with a question.
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Research is woven into the writing process, helping to answer complex questions.
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Forgiveness can be weaponized, especially in queer and trans communities.
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A good apology requires specificity and acknowledgment of harm done.
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Empathy is crucial for genuine forgiveness and understanding.
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Theological insights reveal that forgiveness is often oversimplified in Christian contexts.
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Forgiveness, repentance, and reparations are interconnected but often misunderstood.
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Finding joy in small things, like pets, can be a source of comfort.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background of Kaya Oakes
03:00 Writing Process and Creative Obsessions
05:59 Research and Writing Balance
08:56 Exploring the Theme of Forgiveness
11:58 The Complexity of Forgiveness in Queer and Trans Communities
15:05 Understanding Apologies and Their Impact
17:56 The Role of Empathy in Forgiveness
20:54 Theological Insights on Forgiveness
23:56 Untangling Forgiveness, Repentance, and Reparations
26:54 The Importance of Specificity in Apologies
29:57 Finding Joy in Everyday Life
Resources:
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Previous episodes with Kaya Oakes:
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Interview episode with Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg: Growing Up Suburban Jewish and Finding Your Faith
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Not So Sorry: Abusers, False Apologies, and the Limits of Forgiveness by Kaya Oakes
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Learn more about Kaya at https://www.oakestown.org/
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Join the Sanctuary Collective Community
If you want to support the Patreon and help keep the podcast up and running, you can learn more and pledge your support at patreon.com/queertheology