Faith and Identity: Miryam Kabakov on Building Inclusive Orthodox Communities
Release Date: 10/05/2025
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info_outlineWe welcome Miryam Kabakov to the podcast this week. Miryam is a national leader who has worked for more than three decades on the inclusion of LGTBQ+ individuals in the Orthodox world. She is Executive Director and co-founder of Eshel, @eshelonline, a national organization that supports LGBTQ+ Orthodox individuals and their families. Prior to being a leader at Eshel, Miryam was the New York and National Program Director of AVODAH: The Jewish Service Corps, Director of LGBT programming at the JCC Manhattan, Social Worker at West Side Federation for Senior and Supportive Housing, and was the first social worker at Footsteps. She founded the New York Orthodykes, a support group for lesbian, bisexual and transgender Orthodox women, and is the editor of “Keep Your Wives Away From Them: Orthodox Women, Unorthodox Desires,” a collection of writings about the challenges and joys of LBT Orthodox Jews and winner of the Golden Crown Literary Award. In this conversation, Miryam shares her journey of growing up in a modern Orthodox community while grappling with her LGBTQ identity with Brian. She discusses the challenges of acceptance within her family and the broader Orthodox community, and how these experiences led her to found Eshel, an organization dedicated to supporting LGBTQ Jews. Miryam emphasizes the importance of community, rituals, and the ongoing work to create inclusive spaces within Orthodox Judaism. She also reflects on the evolving landscape of LGBTQ acceptance in religious contexts and the power of obligation and connection in fostering supportive environments.
Takeaways
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Miryam's upbringing in a modern Orthodox community shaped her understanding of faith and queerness.
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The importance of community in navigating LGBTQ identity within Orthodox spaces.
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A-Shell was founded to create supportive environments for LGBTQ Jews and their families.
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Coming out is a continuous journey, especially in Orthodox contexts.
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Family acceptance can take time, but patience is key.
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Creating inclusive rituals is essential for LGBTQ individuals in Orthodox life.
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The future of queer Judaism holds hope for greater acceptance and understanding.
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Obligation to care for one another is a core value in Jewish tradition.
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Retreats provide a safe space for LGBTQ individuals to connect and share experiences.
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Communication and connection are vital for bridging gaps between communities.
Chapters
(04:38) Growing Up Orthodox and LGBTQ: A Personal Narrative
(08:58) The Formation of A-Shell: Building Community
(13:31) Navigating Dual Identities: Coming Out Experiences
(18:05) Creating Inclusive Spaces: The Work of A-Shell
(22:31) Ritual Innovations in the Orthodox Community
(24:11) Navigating Orthodox Jewish Law and Queer Identity
(27:36) The Intersection of Gender and Ritual
(29:26) Faith and Acceptance in Queer Identity
(32:27) Challenges of Inclusivity in Orthodox Communities
(34:24) Retreats: A Safe Space for LGBTQ+ Jews
(37:12) The Attraction of Orthodoxy for Queer Individuals
(40:57) The Power of Obligation and Community Support
Resources:
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Learn more about Miryam and Eshel here: www.eshelonline.org
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Follow Eshel on IG @eshelonline
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Join our online community at Sanctuary Collective Community
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