Why Family Connection Matters Most as Kids Grow Up

Today's episode of the podcast, is all about building meaningful connections with your preteens and teens—especially as they start finding their independence. Colleen gets real about the challenges of staying connected as kids grow older and shares practical, heartfelt tips on how to keep those important bonds strong (even when everyone’s schedule is packed and the house is chaos!).

Whether you’re navigating parenting differences with your partner, homeschooling neurodivergent kiddos, or just trying to carve out some quality time with your teen, this episode is filled with encouragement and actionable ideas—from quick car chats to planned outings (hello, amusement parks, even if you’re not riding the rollercoasters 👍).

Plus, don’t miss the special Family Connection Challenge in June—there’s something for everyone in the family!

Key Takeaways:

• Prioritize Connection in the Teen Years: As children become preteens and teens, intentional connection becomes more challenging but remains crucial. Make connection an ongoing priority, not just something you do when they're young.
• Connection Is Foundational: A strong parent-child bond is the foundation for emotional, social, and academic growth—especially for neurodivergent kids. It’s the “safety net” that helps families weather challenges.
• Small Moments Count: Casual, everyday interactions—like giving your full attention, listening without judgment, or acknowledging your child’s feelings—build trust and closeness over time.
• Planned Time Matters Too: Schedule intentional one-on-one time doing things you both enjoy. Let your teen or young adult take the lead in choosing activities, showing genuine interest in their interests.
• Be Present and Available: When your child seeks you out, pause what you’re doing. Putting aside distractions and giving your full attention communicates that they are a priority.
• Support Without Solving: As teens and young adults set out on their own, focus on being a support system rather than trying to solve their problems. Help them see options and let them make their own choices.
• Respect Their Growing Independence: Understand that pulling away is natural for adolescents and young adults. Stay positive, keep inviting them to connect, and be flexible about how and when you spend time together.
• Connection Over Correction: Resist the urge to coach, correct, or offer advice unless asked. Concentrate on enjoying your child’s company and celebrating who they are, not just what they do.
• Use Technology Mindfully: Texts, memes, and short messages can help maintain connection—especially when your kids are away. Keep it light and avoid overwhelming them with too many questions or expectations.
• Model Kindness and Inclusion: Simple gestures—like small acts of kindness or including everyone—demonstrate the type of connection you hope your children will seek and offer in return.
• Stay Persistent: Even if it feels one-sided at times, keep showing up. Consistent, kind efforts to connect make a lasting impact, even as your children grow more independent.

The underlying message? Connection is not about being perfect—it’s about showing up, looking your kid in the eye, and letting them know they matter. By being responsive, by offering both presence and independence, we help our kids grow into confident, resilient adults who know, no matter where they go, there’s always a safe place to return.

Whether you try a weeklong challenge or simply make eye contact at the dinner table tonight, every effort counts toward raising lifelong learners—and lifelong bonds.

Ready for More?

• Join our June Family Connection Challenge in The Lab! Everyone’s invited—members and non-members alike—and there are prizes and loads of fun planned.

 

Keep an eye out for new courses and coaching programs, perfect for your family. Stay tuned for more information by joining our newsletter if you haven’t already—it’s the best way to ensure you’re up-to-date with the latest resources and support.

 

Get the Book

For a deeper dive into these transformative concepts, don’t forget to grab my new book, The Homeschool Advantage, where you can explore chapter six and beyond. It’s a fantastic resource filled with actionable advice for homeschool educators.

 

Links and Resources from Today’s Episode

Our sponsor for today’s episode is CTC Math

• The Homeschool Advantage: A Child-Focused Approach to Raising Lifelong Learners
• The Homeschool Advantage: A Child-Focused Approach to Raising Lifelong Learners Audiobook
• Raising Lifelong Learners Membership Community – The Learners Lab
• Raising Resilient Sons by Colleen Kessler, M.Ed.
• The Anxiety Toolkit
• Embracing Play for Teens | Growth and Resilience
• Benefits of Keeping It Playful With Teens
• Homeschooling Success | The Role of Strong Family Connections
• Building Strong Family Teams | Tips for Connection and Collaboration
• The Power of Connection in Homeschooling Neurodivergent Kids
• Building Strong Family Bonds | A Conversation with Andee Martineau
• Strengthening Bonds | Building Family Routines and Rituals
• Finding Your Community as a Neurodivergent Family
• Activities to Strengthen Your Family Team
• A Different Kind Of Family Togetherness: Ideas and Encouragement For Connecting With Our Kids

Connect with Colleen
You can find Colleen on  Twitter @ColleenKessler,  Facebook @RaisingLifelongLearners,  Instagram @ColleenKessler