#378: The 7 Transformative Tools You Need To Thrive with Elise Loehnen

Women are often praised for being “good” but what if goodness is holding us back from being whole? In this deeply thought-provoking episode, bestselling author Elise Loehnen returns to discuss her new workbook, Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness, a companion to her New York Times bestseller, On Our Best Behavior.

They explore how deeply ingrained cultural programming shapes women’s identities, expectations, and stories, often without our awareness. Elise breaks down the seven “sins” that subconsciously govern women’s lives, including the good girl script, perfectionism, and self-sacrifice, and teaches us how to reclaim power by choosing truth and wholeness over performance and fear.

You’ll learn tangible tools for self-inquiry including “fact versus story”, how to identify fear responses, naming personas, and how to recognize if you’re caught in a drama triangle. 

This episode is rich with insights, tools, and real-life examples that will help you begin to shift your internal stories, access deeper self-compassion, and build stronger, healthier boundaries. It’s not about being a better woman—it’s about being more you.

Topics Covered In This Episode:

• Cultural conditioning and the good girl myth

• Self-awareness tools you can practice today

• Understanding your fear response 

• How the drama triangle keeps you stuck

• How to name and work with your inner personas

Show Notes:

• Follow @eliseloehnen on Instagram

• Tweet Elise @eloehnen

• Check out Elise’s on Linkedin

• Visit Elise’s website

• Purchase New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good

• Buy Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness—the official companion guide to On Our Best Behavior, as well as True and False Magic, which Elise wrote with legendary psychiatrist Phil Stutz.

• Click here to learn more about Dr. Elana Roumell’s Doctor Mom Membership, a membership designed for moms who want to be their child’s number one health advocate!

• Click here to learn more about Steph Greunke, RD’s online nutrition program and community, Postpartum Reset, an intimate private community and online roadmap for any mama (or mama-to-be) who feels stuck, alone, and depleted and wants to learn how to thrive in motherhood.

• Listen to today’s episode on our website

Elise Loehnen is a writer, editor, and podcast host who lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their two sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread, a podcast focused on pulling apart the stories we tell about who we are—and then putting those threads back together. Ultimately Elise is a seeker and synthesizer, braiding together wisdom traditions, cultural history, and a deep knowledge of healing modalities to unlock new ways to contextualize who we are and why we’re here. She’s also the author of the instant New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (Dial Press/PRH). The book weaves together history, memoir, and cultural criticism to explore the ways patriarchy lands in the bodies of women and embeds itself in our consciousness—and what we then police in ourselves and in each other. Regardless of our religious provenance, the self-denial implicit in each of the Seven Deadly Sins—Sloth, Envy, Pride, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Anger—reads like a checklist of what it means to be a “good” woman. With awareness, we can begin to recognize these patterns of self-restriction, break the story, and move ourselves and each other toward freedom and balance.

Elise is a frequent contributor to Oprah, and has written for The New York Times, Elle Decor, Stylist, and more.

This Episode’s Sponsors 

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INTRODUCE YOURSELF to Steph and Dr. Elana on Instagram. They can’t wait to meet you!

@stephgreunke

@drelanaroumell

Please remember that the views and ideas presented on this podcast are for informational purposes only.  All information presented on this podcast is for informational purposes and not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of a healthcare provider. Consult with your healthcare provider before starting any diet, supplement regimen, or to determine the appropriateness of the information shared on this podcast, or if you have any questions regarding your treatment plan.