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Re-release #65: Navigating the Holidays

Redemptive Living Radio

Release Date: 12/20/2024

#103: Preliminary Boundary Work show art #103: Preliminary Boundary Work

Redemptive Living Radio

Hey Guys! In this episode, we talk about preliminary boundaries.  I mentioned at the beginning of the episode that most women know boundaries are an essential part of the process and are interested in learning how to set solid boundaries.  However, fully internalizing (or embodying) boundaries takes time to engage and implement.  This is where preliminary boundaries come into play. So let’s dig into preliminary boundaries.  Keep in mind that ‘preliminary boundaries’ refers to the preparatory work, comprising 10 questions that women need to ask themselves...

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#102: Her Request to Never Notice Others show art #102: Her Request to Never Notice Others

Redemptive Living Radio

Welcome back to RL Radio!     In this episode, we talk about a wife’s request that he never notice another woman.  While this request might seem impossible for him to carry out, keep in mind that it’s a deeper need beneath the one she is expressing.  Jason also comments that oftentimes a rhetorical question (from her) points to a statement of grief.  The question is giving expression to something deeper, usually a deeper need.   Here are the myths we discuss: Myth #1 - Noticing someone in public is the gateway to acting out. Myth #2 - Her...

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#101: Why Women Ask Details show art #101: Why Women Ask Details

Redemptive Living Radio

Welcome to episode #101 of RL Radio!   I don’t know about you, but it is SO cool being in the hundreds, and we are so glad to have you all here with us!   In this episode, we discuss why women ask for details in recovery.  Women often get a bad rap for asking for more information; even well-meaning supporters and counselors try to convince her that she doesn’t need to know everything, thinking this is helpful.   We discuss at the beginning of the episode how wives are already voiceless in this process, so anywhere in recovery that we can give...

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#100: Building Blocks of Intimacy - Part 2 show art #100: Building Blocks of Intimacy - Part 2

Redemptive Living Radio

Welcome to episode #100 of RL Radio and part 2 of the Building Blocks of Intimacy! We are so excited to reach this milestone with you guys. If you liked seeing the video version of our podcast last week, you can watch this week’s video in the Worthy of Her Trust Academy Public Content section (see link below) or on our YouTube Channel. Okay, so we are in part two of our deep dive into the building blocks of intimacy, and we start right off the bat discussing this idea of compatibility.  Jason voices a couple of insights: Popular culture focuses a lot on compatibility in the sense of...

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#99: Building Blocks of Intimacy - Part 1 show art #99: Building Blocks of Intimacy - Part 1

Redemptive Living Radio

Welcome to Season #8 of RL Radio! We are excited to connect with you guys, laugh a little, and also partner with you as you move forward with healing. This season, we decided to start recording podcasts as videos (in addition to the podcast). In that vein, we wanted to record in our sitting nook off our kitchen - and did for a handful of episodes for this season, including this two-part series. As I listen to this recording, I can hear that we have some tweaking to do, so you will probably hear those tweaks as we go through the season, and hopefully, we will land in a happy-sounding place. In...

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#98: The 90/10 Principle show art #98: The 90/10 Principle

Redemptive Living Radio

The 90/10 principle simply means that 90% of the work of relational rebuilding is a husband’s responsibility post betrayal (+ 100% of a husband’s personal work). That 90% means going first, leading the process, holding the weight of the brokenness in the relationship, engaging, initiating, following through, amending, living forgivable and working on being trustworthy.    The 10% that is a wife’s work in the beginning is simply showing up and being a willing participant in the process, grieving, watching, waiting, navigating boundaries and needs, and finding a sense...

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#97: His Processing - Personal Not Private show art #97: His Processing - Personal Not Private

Redemptive Living Radio

As I listen to the first part of this episode, I am so thankful we aren’t where we were five months ago with our little puppy.  I will say - we are still considering getting rid of him because while he is much easier for us than he was five months ago, he is still a LOT.  I was giggling with how I was pronouncing words like diarrhea and nope.  Don’t mind me!   In this episode, we wanted to talk about this concept that his recovery, and more specifically his processing is personal but not private.  Jason talks about some men are told that certain things shouldn’t...

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#96: Lying - Part 2 show art #96: Lying - Part 2

Redemptive Living Radio

We are back with part 2 of the lying episode. We jump in to talking about what helped Jason stop lying: #1 - Brute force effort to be honest as well as brute force effort to fight the addictive voice inside of him. (Jason said he would argue internally with the man he was fighting to become versus the old, addictive self pulling him back.) #2 - He came to a place of determination that he could handle the fall out. Out of this shift came one of Jason’s core recovery mantra’s: I’d rather lose you than lie to you. I chime in (and possibly take the convo in a different direction) and I talk...

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#95: Lying - Part 1 show art #95: Lying - Part 1

Redemptive Living Radio

We are starting to come to the final bend in the road for Season #7, before we take a break. In this episode - we talk about lying - something that comes up a lot with the gals I connect with on Instagram as well as one of the things that was posted more than once in the question box on IG when I asked for podcast suggestions.   What I always say is: women are willing to do the excruciating work of healing from betrayal - but the lying is what becomes an impasse.   Here is what we are going to walk through:   1 - What lying looked like for Jason growing up. 2 - Why we lie. 3 -...

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#94: A Story of Fortitude - Part Two show art #94: A Story of Fortitude - Part Two

Redemptive Living Radio

Hey Guys - We are so grateful for Emma’s willingness to share her story.  This is part 2. SO much richness in this episode - from Thomas’s brokenness and guttural crying to Emma’s vulnerability to the 2nd disclosure and Emma’s awareness of having to move the wall around her heart accordingly.  To Thomas’s ultimate willingness and of course - as mentioned in the last show notes:  Emma’s fortitude and not accepting less. Emma references a verse that Jason shared with her from Isaiah - hope to the hopeless.  She is referring to  where it says - “but...

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More Episodes

Hey Guys!  We wanted to re-release an episode from the past pertaining to navigating the holidays well.  The holidays can be really challenging - no matter what - and then throw in Family Systems (see below) + recovery and it’s a LOT.  The happy holidays can feel like the not so happy holidays.

The back drop of this conversation we are having is rooted in Family Systems Theory by Murray Bowen.  Bottom line is in every family - there are unspoken agreements and roles within the family system.  For instance, you might be the clown of the family, the peace keeper, the hero… the list goes on and on.  When we merge family systems (by going to the in-laws for Thanksgiving, for instance) there will absolutely be an impact to the “system”.
 
We cover five key points to ponder as you consider how Family Systems impacts your holiday experience:
 
1. Name the role you played in your family of origin as well as who you are now relative to the earlier role you played.
2. Acknowledge your wife’s needs when navigating holiday interactions.
3. When emotions are high, use discernment on what to share and say in front of extended family, AND honor yourself and your boundaries / limits.
4. Front Loading conversations between him and her prior to the holiday gatherings.
5. Daily Downloads, initiated by him, for the two of you every day you are with extended family.
6. And Bonus:  for women - identifying anchors (activities you can do to keep yourself grounded) on the daily while with extended family.
 
We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us and we are excited to be with you for one more episode this year (fresh and new) and then we will be back in January for Season #7.
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