ep 125 / Can This Relationship Be Saved? What Couples Therapy Can (and Can’t) Do
Release Date: 07/09/2025
Relationship Dish
Ever have a relationship that’s been going really well, only to have an old issue suddenly rear its head and make you wonder, “Wait… haven’t we already dealt with this?” Iona and her husband Steve recently had one of those moments—and in this episode, Iona and Pam put their therapists’ hats on and take a close look at what happened, what went wrong, and how they found their way back to each other. The disagreement started innocently enough: a garage sale, two lamps, a dog walk, and Steve taking a phone call from his dad while walking ten feet ahead of Iona. But that ten feet hit...
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SPOILER ALERT! This episode is all about The Invite, Olivia Wilde and Seth Rogen’s new movie—and if you haven’t seen it yet, you may want to watch it before listening. Iona and Pam are joined by licensed therapist Zach Brittle, host of Marriage Therapy Radio and author of the forthcoming book, Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes, for a lively, therapist-on-therapist dissection of the film’s troubled couples. And wow, is it uncomfortable. All three therapists found themselves squirming as they watched Joe and Angela’s marriage deteriorate on screen, because there’s something...
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What happens when ADHD walks into a relationship? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome Natalie Wiseman, a Vancouver- and Florida-based counsellor who specializes in working with couples affected by ADHD, to explore how this neurodevelopmental disorder can shape everything from household responsibilities to intimacy. Natalie explains why ADHD can be mistaken for laziness, carelessness, or a lack of commitment—and why understanding the difference between intent and impact is so important. They talk about time blindness, forgotten promises, unequal...
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Ever wonder why a vacation can either bring a couple closer—or make them want to kill each other? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Iona and Pam explore what happens when you take a relationship out of its everyday environment and put it under the pressure of travel, logistics, limited escape routes, and way too much togetherness. Iona shares how a recent vacation with her husband Steve went better than any trip they've taken before—and why she believes it's a reflection of the work they've been doing in their marriage. She's become better at tolerating who Steve actually is rather...
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Ever feel like the moment you start changing, the people around you push back? You're not imagining it. In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the concept of homeostasis—the predictable emotional balance every relationship and family system naturally tries to maintain, whether it's healthy or not. They unpack why even positive changes can feel threatening to those around us, how loved ones can unintentionally pull us back into familiar patterns, and why changing one person inevitably changes the entire relationship dynamic. Pam reflects on the "honeymoon...
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What happens to a marriage when your child is struggling with addiction? In this powerful and deeply moving episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome author Elana Epstein to share how she and her husband of 32 years navigated while trying to help their son through addiction and recovery. Elana opens up about the early warning signs she sensed, the temptation to protect both her son and her husband by keeping secrets, and how quickly a family crisis can create distance between partners. She explains how children struggling with addiction may play parents against each other, and why...
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Is everyone who hurts you a narcissist? In this fascinating episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome licensed therapist and author Carla Litto—whom Iona affectionately calls "the anti-narcissist extraordinaire"—to separate internet myths from clinical reality. ( to order her book, Outsmarting Egomaniacs!) Carla explains the difference between everyday narcissistic traits and true narcissistic personality disorder, why the term narcissist has exploded in popular culture, and how labeling someone can sometimes distract us from examining our own patterns in relationships. Drawing on...
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What if your feelings weren't a problem to solve, but a signal to pay attention to? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore boundary-setting through a lens that many people miss: your body's own warning system. They discuss how anxiety, irritability, sadness, overwhelm, numbness, and even physical sensations can be clues that you're moving outside your window of tolerance—and that a boundary may be needed. Pam shares how years of suppressing her feelings in marriage eventually led to eruptions of anger, while Iona tells the story of a man who spent so long ignoring his own...
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How quickly do you turn someone into a one-dimensional version of themselves? In this deeply personal episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack a real interaction between the two of them—one where judgment, assumptions, and anxiety quietly shaped the way they saw each other, until vulnerability changed everything. They explore why we often flatten people into simple stories when mixed feelings feel too uncomfortable, and why learning to hold contradictory emotions—love and anger, closeness and disappointment—is essential for healthy relationships. Pam and Iona discuss...
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When you hear the word intimacy, do you automatically think of sex? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona challenge the narrow way most of us define intimacy and explore the many other ways we truly connect with other people. They unpack the six different types of intimacy—sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—and why great relationships need more than just chemistry to survive. In fact, they argue, the other forms of intimacy are what actually fuel good sex in the first place. Pam reflects on the deep emotional intimacy she’s shared...
info_outlineThinking about couples therapy? Wondering if it can really fix what's broken—or if you're just signing up for weekly battles on a therapist’s couch? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona pull back the curtain on what actually happens in couples therapy, what brings most couples through the door, and why it only works if both partners are willing to show up—messy feelings and all.
They share revealing stories of clients who sabotaged the process by refusing to take responsibility (hello, emotional affairs and unacknowledged shame), and why no magical apology can heal betrayal without true accountability. You’ll also hear why therapists aren't there to convince you of what you "should" want, and why sometimes the goal isn’t saving the relationship—but ending it with grace.
Whether you’re considering therapy, already in it, or just curious about the behind-the-scenes dynamics, this episode offers an unfiltered, compassionate look at the hard truths—and the hope—that therapy can bring.