ep 146 / Homeostasis: Why Relationships Resist Change
Relationship Dish
Ever feel like the moment you start changing, the people around you push back? You're not imagining it. In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore the concept of homeostasis—the predictable emotional balance every relationship and family system naturally tries to maintain, whether it's healthy or not. They unpack why even positive changes can feel threatening to those around us, how loved ones can unintentionally pull us back into familiar patterns, and why changing one person inevitably changes the entire relationship dynamic. Pam reflects on the "honeymoon...
info_outline
ep 145 / When Addiction Tests a Marriage: A Parent’s Journey (with Elana Epstein)
Relationship Dish
What happens to a marriage when your child is struggling with addiction? In this powerful and deeply moving episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome author Elana Epstein to share how she and her husband of 32 years navigated while trying to help their son through addiction and recovery. Elana opens up about the early warning signs she sensed, the temptation to protect both her son and her husband by keeping secrets, and how quickly a family crisis can create distance between partners. She explains how children struggling with addiction may play parents against each other, and why...
info_outline
ep 144 / Narcissists, Manipulators, and the Myth of the Buzzword with Carla Litto, LMFT
Relationship Dish
Is everyone who hurts you a narcissist? In this fascinating episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona welcome licensed therapist and author Carla Litto—whom Iona affectionately calls "the anti-narcissist extraordinaire"—to separate internet myths from clinical reality. ( to order her book, Outsmarting Egomaniacs!) Carla explains the difference between everyday narcissistic traits and true narcissistic personality disorder, why the term narcissist has exploded in popular culture, and how labeling someone can sometimes distract us from examining our own patterns in relationships. Drawing on...
info_outline
ep 143 / Boundaries Aren't Selfish: Listening to Your Body Before It Shouts
Relationship Dish
What if your feelings weren't a problem to solve, but a signal to pay attention to? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona explore boundary-setting through a lens that many people miss: your body's own warning system. They discuss how anxiety, irritability, sadness, overwhelm, numbness, and even physical sensations can be clues that you're moving outside your window of tolerance—and that a boundary may be needed. Pam shares how years of suppressing her feelings in marriage eventually led to eruptions of anger, while Iona tells the story of a man who spent so long ignoring his own...
info_outline
ep 142 / Judgment, Vulnerability, and the Stories We Tell About Each Other
Relationship Dish
How quickly do you turn someone into a one-dimensional version of themselves? In this deeply personal episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack a real interaction between the two of them—one where judgment, assumptions, and anxiety quietly shaped the way they saw each other, until vulnerability changed everything. They explore why we often flatten people into simple stories when mixed feelings feel too uncomfortable, and why learning to hold contradictory emotions—love and anger, closeness and disappointment—is essential for healthy relationships. Pam and Iona discuss...
info_outline
ep 141 / Intimacy Is Not What You Think It Is
Relationship Dish
When you hear the word intimacy, do you automatically think of sex? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona challenge the narrow way most of us define intimacy and explore the many other ways we truly connect with other people. They unpack the six different types of intimacy—sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—and why great relationships need more than just chemistry to survive. In fact, they argue, the other forms of intimacy are what actually fuel good sex in the first place. Pam reflects on the deep emotional intimacy she’s shared...
info_outline
ep 140 / Attachment vs. Authenticity: Unlocking Your True Self
Relationship Dish
After years behind the mic, Pam and Iona reflect on how Relationship Dish has evolved from research-heavy conversations to something more lived-in, intuitive, and real. And in this episode, they take that evolution even deeper with a powerful question: Who are you, underneath it all? Many people come to therapy focused on symptoms like anxiety, depression, and conflict, but beneath those layers lies something quieter and more essential: the true self. Pam and Iona explore how core feelings act as a gateway to that authentic place where your curiosity, joy, and aliveness are. Pam shares...
info_outline
ep 139 / Risking Conflict for Intimacy: Why Avoiding Fights Keeps You Stuck
Relationship Dish
Think avoiding conflict is the key to a happy relationship? Think again. In this powerful episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack why real intimacy isn’t built by keeping the peace—it’s built by risking it. They explore how sexual intimacy alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship, and why deeper connection requires emotional vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to rock the boat. Pam shares how conflict avoidance shaped her marriage—including a moment she literally checked into a hotel to escape a fight—while Iona opens up about the risks she’s taken in her own...
info_outline
ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships
Relationship Dish
Where do our expectations in relationships actually come from—and when do they start working against us? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the difference between healthy needs and unrealistic expectations—and how unmet (or even met) childhood experiences can quietly shape both. They explore how what we didn’t receive growing up can turn into deep longings—or even angry demands—in our adult relationships. Pam shares how mismatched expectations around time, energy, and reciprocity have led her to pull back from friendships, while Iona reflects on how...
info_outline
ep 137 / Can People Really Change? Boundaries, Acceptance, and Being “Good Enough”
Relationship Dish
Can people actually change, or do we eventually have to learn how to live with what is? In this episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona let listeners in on their behind-the-scenes process of choosing a topic—then land on one that hits close to home. Pam opens up about her ongoing struggle to set boundaries with people she loves, and how making slow, incremental changes feels essential before she can fully open herself to a new relationship. Iona, on the other hand, explores a different kind of growth: accepting long-standing patterns in her marriage—like her husband’s lack...
info_outlineWhen you hear the word intimacy, do you automatically think of sex? In this eye-opening episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona challenge the narrow way most of us define intimacy and explore the many other ways we truly connect with other people.
They unpack the six different types of intimacy—sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual—and why great relationships need more than just chemistry to survive. In fact, they argue, the other forms of intimacy are what actually fuel good sex in the first place.
Pam reflects on the deep emotional intimacy she’s shared with close friends over the years—the crying, arguing, laughing, and vulnerability that create real closeness—and admits that she still struggles at times to fully let people in. Together, she and Iona explore the importance of reciprocity, shared interests, emotional openness, and feeling genuinely connected in everyday life.
Intimacy isn’t just about being physically close; it’s about being truly known.
Thoughts? Questions? Topic ideas for an episode? Email us at: dishers@relationshipdish.com