Shepherds And Spies: The Cost Of Vulnerability | 1 Samuel 21:7

Are your friends really foes and, therefore, hard to trust?

Welcome to the Daily Devo. I am Vince Miller.

This week, we are in Chapter 21 of 1 Samuel. I've titled this chapter "Man On The Run."

Remember, David is at Nob, at the Tabernacle, talking with Ahimelech. There is someone present this day, a spy of sorts. Listen to 1 Samuel 21:7:

Now a certain man of the servants of Saul was there that day, detained before the Lord. His name was Doeg the Edomite, the chief of Saul's herdsmen. — 1 Samuel 21:7

Doeg is a crucial figure in the next chapter, so note this occurrence and what we learn today.

There are two details about Doeg worth noting. First, he is an Edomite, a people who have been enemies of God since the time of Moses. The big question is why King Saul allowed an Edomite a place of any authority in his kingdom. Second, we learn that he does not have a minor role. He is the "Chief Shepherd." If you recall, David was a shepherd, too, and we would assume he was one of the best. However, David can not be both a shepherd and a warrior, so Saul must choose someone else with this skill. But his choice is a captured opponent, illustrating again the deteriorating discernment of Saul, which will play into his evil hands in the next chapter because Doeg is not just a captured opponent and chief shepherd but a contracted spy.

Sometimes, people who look like friends may actually be foes.

This principle is so hard to teach young teens. During the impressionable teen years, when teens are desperate for acceptance, they sometimes surround themselves with compromising people, which leads to compromising decisions. This was a hard-learned lesson for each of my children.

But adults fall for this, too. When building new relationships in new situations, we can assume that people have our best interests in mind, only to find out later that this is not entirely true. Thus, we learn time and time again that some people who look like friends might be foes. Once we get burned, we trust less, become less vulnerable, and become more suspicious of those who might be foes.

Unfortunately, one application of this reality is within a church small group. Many men hesitate to join a small church group because they perceive members as foes rather than friends. This may seem like a copout, but in small to medium-sized churches, I think their concerns are legitimate. Opening up about our hurts and hangups is risky when we are concerned that someone might breach confidentiality and share that information with others.

This was David's situation. All of David's present problems were within the church and his family. He did not know who he could trust or with whom he could be vulnerable. He was suspicious at every turn. He then turned to the men of God, Samuel and now Ahimelech, only to later discover that nearby Doeg was a spy who would sell them out.

When we are in vulnerable situations, we need friends, not foes. But if we become vulnerable and get burned by a friend who was really a foe, it's hard to be vulnerable the next time. If this happens too often, we can become resistant to any form of vulnerability. But here is the rub: only by being vulnerable can we test a friendship and build lasting friends that stand the test of time. Vulnerability is difficult to learn, slowly gained, quickly lost, and risky to recover. This is why so many men have many issues with vulnerability.

But you need to work through this. Past issues with foes are not present excuses for your lack of friends. You need at least one believing friend you can trust and be vulnerable with in this life. And it's not exclusively your spouse. It's someone of the same gender, with grounded biblical beliefs, who can speak the truth in love and give you the spiritual direction you need. So get a Jonathan, not a Doeg, and build a friendship that will last the test of time.

#TrustWisely, #FriendshipMatters, #VulnerabilityInFaith

Ask This:

1. Who are the "Doegs" in your life—those you initially trusted but later realized may not have had your best interests at heart? How can you discern true friendship in the future?
2. In what areas of your life do you struggle with vulnerability? What steps can you take to build authentic relationships that foster trust and support, similar to David and Jonathan?

Do This:

Be vulnerable and build a lasting friendship.

Pray This:

Father, help me to discern the true intentions of those around me, guiding me to build authentic friendships rooted in trust and faith. Grant me the courage to be vulnerable, knowing that in sharing my struggles, I can find the support and encouragement I need. Amen.

Play This:

I Surrender All.