I Love Drugs... But I’ve Got a Mortgage ft. Chris Safi - Ep 197

Sydney’s plumbing scene is filthy—literally and metaphorically—and this week, we’re diving headfirst into it (hopefully not barehanded). We’re joined by hilarious comedian and plumber Chris Safi, who breaks down the wildest things he’s seen in toilets (hint: not just what you'd expect) and reveals why modern construction sites are less about grit and more about gremlins. We talk the gentrification of Western Sydney, the psychological powers of food poisoning, and what it’s like getting jumped at Macca’s over a spicy Facebook post. Safi shares how he accidentally weaponised his Facebook rants into a comedy career and why plumbers might just be the philosophers of the tradie world. Oh, and there’s a very serious discussion about Lebanese weddings, dabke dancing injuries, and why fingerholes on toilet paper packs are gone (RIP). It’s a wild, slightly unhinged, and dangerously funny hour with plenty of toilet talk and heart. 📌 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe! New episodes every week with the wildest Aussie comedy you’ll hear this side of Bankstown.

 

 🕒 TIMESTAMPS [00:00] – Sydney suburbs, mortgages, and the new crime deterrent [03:57] – Diarrhea vs solid: the ultimate debate [06:41] – The psychology of food poisoning [09:14] – Toilet trauma tales from a plumber [11:55] – Hazing in the trades and mythical tools [15:22] – When electricians and plumbers throw shade [18:46] – Lebanese food, dabke dancing, and grandma’s recipes [21:33] – Getting into comedy via Facebook roasts [24:17] – Schoolyard politics and Catholic vs public school culture [27:55] – 30-on-1 Macca’s beatdown over a Facebook post [30:30] – Lebanese family dynamics and culture [33:42] – Wedding dancing etiquette and holding hands (with blokes) [36:59] – Dubke injuries and toilet paper design betrayal [39:41] – Real plumber jobs vs the Hollywood myth [42:23] – $15 million house, no flush, big mistake [45:16] – The secret smell that never leaves you [48:07] – How comedy and plumbing collide on Instagram [50:33] – Comedy dreams and Tom Gleeson compliments [53:12] – Social media beefs that turn into friendships [56:44] – The psychology behind Lebanese stereotypes [59:58] – Facebook status tips from the master [1:02:21] – Who’s the worst driver? (It’s not who you think) [1:05:15] – Rants, relatability, and turning pain into punchlines [1:08:34] – Mo DW and the legacy of Facebook names [1:11:29] – [Fin]