Episode 034: Derek Arden - What’s Cortisol Got to Do With #COVID19, Sales, Negotiation and Reciprocity?

Listen to Scale Your Sales Podcast with Derek Arden where you will learn what has Cortisol got to do with #COVID19, and the Relationship between Sales Negotiation and Reciprocity.  Derek talks through some of the strategies in his best selling book Win Win: How to get a winning result from persuasive negotiations and shares stores and examples of what is and is not working now.

I wanted to get Derek Arden as a guest of Scale Your Sales Podcast because sales have moved away from the linear sellers selling and buyers buying transaction and move towards a relational negotiation. Derek Arden is the negotiation expert and best-selling author of Win Win: How to get a winning result from persuasive negotiation.

Derek advises sellers and business leaders that must ride out the pandemic. The first thing you must do is keep your integrity and keep it honest. Do not take advantage of this situation and hike up prices. Be honest, tell people, tell them the truth, says Derek, as it goes back to our real relationship selling model, which is all about know, like and trust.

It takes a long time to build up trust, but it takes seconds to lose trust if you do not treat people properly. It's about relationships, and when people have got their backs to the wall if you take it away, they will remember, and that's not what sir that's not what good Win-Win salespeople negotiators and influences do.

Derek runs training courses for companies like NHS accountants and procurement people. What Derek is reminding people of is the basic model of negotiation, which in his book. Remember, people are going to be anxious and stressed when the people are fearful that builds up cortisol, which is the wrong chemical in the brain, people say things they should not normally say. They might send emails, who knows what, so bear in mind that the other person is coming from a different position as you. Buyers might say, could go away and review your prices, that will be helpful to me. We will check these prices post-pandemic, to make sure that you are still part of our valued supplier relationship.

Derek highlights some of his 11 strategies from his book, Win-Win the steps of negotiation to help to break through barriers.

The number one strategy is Preparation. There is no excuse when you are negotiating or selling on a significant transaction, not to do your absolute Preparation because proper Preparation prevents pretty poor performance, says Derek.

Number Two is first impressions. First impressions are crucial. We make up our minds about people in a few seconds. Now people were looking at LinkedIn profiles to form first impressions. 57% of people make up their mind about you before they met you because they are looking up to your social media.

Number Three is Ask really good questions. How much are you prepared to pay? What is in your budget? How can we resolve this? Notice that they are all big, open-ended questions short and generally begin with how or what.

Number Four is that Listening skills. Really listening to what people are saying how they are saying it using their tone of voice.

Number five is Body Language. Pinocchio's nose grew every time he told a lie. If people are uncomfortable, they generally start fidgeting, particularly around the face. So, these are good signs to look out for. It does not mean they are lying, but it means a significant signal that you need to check it out carefully.

Number Six is Lying. Looking out for what people say. Generally, people lower and slow down their voice when they are not comfortable with what they are saying. The general thinking is that people speak quicker like a fast-talking car salesperson, but that's not true, people who are fibbing or lying slow down because they are having to think through the consequences of everything that they are saying. Check out the book Win Win for the remaining strategies.

Derek gives the example of why estate agents are so successful working as the third party, and why people are generally not good at negotiating their own salary because the conflict comes between the, you and me. Instead, the agent can turn one person against the other, can spin the story a little to try and get a Win Win deal.

Derek further explains successful but highly questionable sales techniques among Football agents in their negotiations. There is so much money in football and agents take massive commissions on fees, getting transfer fees and salaries for footballers that the individual would not be able to negotiate themselves. Tactics like telling fibs (lies) and displaying unethical salesmanship.  All that Derek does not recommend to anyone intent on Win-Win relationship selling.  Derek says, people are fooled by 'we've got another two competitors coming in for your player' because you see at the end of the transfer window deals being done on the last day, at the eleventh hour.

Derek talks about the law of sowing and reaping, which is a law which was before the Bible and before even Socrates and Plato probably mentioned it. If you put good things out there, you get good things back you do not necessarily get them from the same person. Linked to the law of reciprocity. The law reciprocity says that if you give something to people unconditionally, they will give you things back in due course. If you sow enough good seeds, if you put enough sales calls in, and you are helpful to people you will see positive results in return.  Derek keeps a book to record the names of the children, where his clients have been on holiday, what their interests are, which football team they support, which tennis club or netball team they play at, whatever their interests are, these are good ways to make a connection. But Derek warns you must be sincerely interested in the person and not directly on the sale.

Most people do not put themselves out, says Derek, this is what he means by Preparation.  This is what selling is all about, says Derek, developing a trusted relationship and connection essential in all good negotiations.

The story of the highest-paid car salesman in America that they kept wanting to promote to Sales Director, but he was making so much commission selling cars. He had a PA, which sent birthday cards to the children, the wife and anniversary cards. He had this whole infrastructure set up behind him. Nowadays, there is automation which can do this work. He was so successful that his client never went another dealer to buy a car.

Not many people do it thoroughly and consistently, working hard to nurture the relationship. They claim they know it, but do they put it into action, because people are generally lazy say, Derek. However, the top salespeople do consistently and authentically demonstrate their interest in other people.

Win Win: How to get a winning result from persuasive negotiations https://www.amazon.co.uk/Win-winning-result-persuasive-negotiations/dp/1292074086

https://www.derekarden.co.uk