20: “How could I best have supported my son when he was ill and totally dependent on his fathers’ money to survive - when I myself have a low income?”
Release Date: 01/07/2020
44: “The whole family is walking on eggshells.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“I would like to hear your thoughts on how parents can speak about the elephant in the room.
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43: “My daughter is overweight.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
My 13 year-old daughter is overweight and I don't know how to handle this.
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42: “It's the world that's crazy -- not us parents.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“Hi Lisa and Stella. This is not so much of a question, but a warm and heartfelt THANK YOU. I think (hope!) that we're slowly getting to the end of some really tough years.
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41: “I don’t trust her decision making.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
A year ago when our ADD student daughter then aged 21 revealed to my husband and myself that she was on a waiting list to have cross sex treatment, our 16-year-old son took the role of her trans ally.
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40: “I know we should love the child we have and not wish them to be different but I can't help having these thoughts.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“I worry that my boy is not very clever and I am secretly embarrassed and ashamed about this. My family is over-invested in achievement and especially educational achievement and the cousins' fabulous exam results are continuously talked about within our family WhatsApp. It is very distressing to feel ashamed of my boy who is both kind and funny. I'm not sure how I should navigate this - should I just declare that he isn't 'academic' and thereby lead the rest of the family to make insinuations that he is a bit stupid? Although I don't equate intelligence with...
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39: “My work has "juice" for me now while parenting just feels hard and draining.”
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“I'm feeling incredibly disconnected from my kids right now.
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38: “My sense of disappointment feels selfish.”
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“I'm a single mom and I've always worked full time while raising my kids. My youngest is graduating from high school this year and I've been anticipating the empty next stage of life with mixed emotions. I've known it will be tremendously sad, but at the same time, I'm looking forward to having more time to myself for the first time in over two decades. Now with the coronavirus, it looks possible that he won't be leaving for college in the fall and I am feeling very disappointed about this. I know he is disappointed as well. My sense of disappointment feels selfish. It's...
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37: “Now, with the Coronavirus, she won't have any of the ceremonial endings that seem important to her.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“My 12 year-old is leaving school this year and now, with the Coronavirus, she won't have any of the ceremonial endings that seem to important to her.
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36: “We never told my parents.”
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“I come from a close family. My parents have been involved in all aspects of my children’s lives and are extremely special to them. I have one adult sibling who has special needs and is cared for exclusively by my aging parents. At the time of his birth, it was common for children with special needs to be placed in an institution rather than raised at home."
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35: “Should I ask him if he’s still transgender?”
Secrets of the Motherworld
A year ago, my 16 year old son told us he is transgender. I was completely shocked, as he is not particularly feminine.
info_outlineHere’s the (edited) story we discuss this week:
“I divorced the father of my son about 20 years ago (my initiative). Our son was hurt in a car accident and got whiplash after that .He needed orthopedic treatment , medications and so on. He wanted to get off from the cold winter here in the Northern hemisphere and wished to live in the Southern hemisphere. That worked for 2 years as his father supported our son to have an ordinary cheap living there . But then his father refused to help (even though he has a lot of money) and this is his only child.
Then our son starts to be a lot worse, lost hope, silenced and so on. I tried to cooperate with my former husband as I believed it was the only way. It took a long time for me to see that his father had become worse, even more egotistical than when we were married and to me it looked as trauma bonding with the message ‘I’ll help You only if You will Be as I want you to be’.
His father started to try to get our son into psychiatric treatment, just as he was hunting him, he negatively defined every move he made, he infiltrated our sons’ friends ... I left because I could not be a part of that ,and we don’t live close.
What could I have done to not have get hooked up again in the old destructive patterns? I didn’t want me or my son to be dependent on my selfish former husband – who only looks to his own welfare in everything. Should I just have stayed away, stepped aside , not got involved?
Our son has now disappeared, we do not know where he is. Now I am afraid that he felt that he didn’t think he could trust me. My main question is ‘How could I best have supported my son when he was ill and totally dependent on his fathers’ money to survive - when I myself have a low income?’