24: “Will I Ever Forgive Myself for You Not Being Mine?”
Release Date: 02/04/2020
44: “The whole family is walking on eggshells.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“I would like to hear your thoughts on how parents can speak about the elephant in the room.
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43: “My daughter is overweight.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
My 13 year-old daughter is overweight and I don't know how to handle this.
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42: “It's the world that's crazy -- not us parents.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“Hi Lisa and Stella. This is not so much of a question, but a warm and heartfelt THANK YOU. I think (hope!) that we're slowly getting to the end of some really tough years.
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41: “I don’t trust her decision making.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
A year ago when our ADD student daughter then aged 21 revealed to my husband and myself that she was on a waiting list to have cross sex treatment, our 16-year-old son took the role of her trans ally.
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40: “I know we should love the child we have and not wish them to be different but I can't help having these thoughts.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“I worry that my boy is not very clever and I am secretly embarrassed and ashamed about this. My family is over-invested in achievement and especially educational achievement and the cousins' fabulous exam results are continuously talked about within our family WhatsApp. It is very distressing to feel ashamed of my boy who is both kind and funny. I'm not sure how I should navigate this - should I just declare that he isn't 'academic' and thereby lead the rest of the family to make insinuations that he is a bit stupid? Although I don't equate intelligence with...
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39: “My work has "juice" for me now while parenting just feels hard and draining.”
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“I'm feeling incredibly disconnected from my kids right now.
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38: “My sense of disappointment feels selfish.”
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“I'm a single mom and I've always worked full time while raising my kids. My youngest is graduating from high school this year and I've been anticipating the empty next stage of life with mixed emotions. I've known it will be tremendously sad, but at the same time, I'm looking forward to having more time to myself for the first time in over two decades. Now with the coronavirus, it looks possible that he won't be leaving for college in the fall and I am feeling very disappointed about this. I know he is disappointed as well. My sense of disappointment feels selfish. It's...
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37: “Now, with the Coronavirus, she won't have any of the ceremonial endings that seem important to her.”
Secrets of the Motherworld
“My 12 year-old is leaving school this year and now, with the Coronavirus, she won't have any of the ceremonial endings that seem to important to her.
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36: “We never told my parents.”
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“I come from a close family. My parents have been involved in all aspects of my children’s lives and are extremely special to them. I have one adult sibling who has special needs and is cared for exclusively by my aging parents. At the time of his birth, it was common for children with special needs to be placed in an institution rather than raised at home."
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35: “Should I ask him if he’s still transgender?”
Secrets of the Motherworld
A year ago, my 16 year old son told us he is transgender. I was completely shocked, as he is not particularly feminine.
info_outline“I fell in love with a man who had a child from a previous marriage. When we were dating, he told me that his child would always come first and showed me a photo of her that he always kept with him. I quickly answered that that was only natural. Of course, his child should come first.
His daughter was a beautiful, queenly teenager when we married, and I was insecure around her. Initially, I tried to "cook" my way to her heart, but she rebelled against those dishes even when -- or especially when -- she liked them. I didn't know what was wrong and neither did she, but we also kept close by talking, walking, shopping, doing nonsense together. Over time, we developed a relationship that I cherish.
Although I treasure our relationship and my role in her life, it makes me wistful at times to be reminded that I will never be for her what her mother is. We will never have that natural ease, that unspoken connection. And I think to myself, will I ever forgive myself for you not being mine?”
Stella mentions Nuala O Faoláin writing about how the role of the stepmother from her book ‘Almost There’: https://www.amazon.com/Almost-There-Nuala-OFaolain/dp/1573222410