Calm AF
If I could go back and tell my younger self something, it would be this: Figure out what really matters in life. Figure out what, at the end of your life, made it a life well lived. And then figure out HOW to not forget it. (This episode is a replay from 2023) Here’s the EASIEST way: Change takes consistency. If you’d love a gentle nudge each day to stay on track while you’re creating new patterns, grab my Every morning, get a love letter in your inbox – a daily reminder that you aren’t here to be a perfect human before you can enjoy this amazing, precious life you’ve been...
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In today’s episode of Calm AF, we’re diving deep into one of the most harmful modern mindsets: the belief that you have to fix yourself before you can enjoy your life. If you’ve ever felt like you need to check off a to-do list before you’re allowed to relax or be happy — this episode is your reminder to stop fixing yourself to be happy. Inspired by a love letter from my private podcast, this “spiel” explores why you don’t need to earn joy, peace, or worthiness. You’re not a project — you’re a human being living a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And that means you...
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Get to rewire your nervous system and mindset patterns. You say you want peace. You say you're ready to stop overthinking, people-pleasing, and spinning out. So why does your brain keep dragging you back into suffering — even when life gives you a moment to breathe? In this episode, we're talking about the ways we argue against our own peace — and how we fight harder to stay stuck than to change. You'll learn why familiar thoughts like: “I’m not good enough.” “Life’s harder for me.” “People always let me down.” …feel so true — and how to stop identifying with...
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Why does your brain keep pulling you back into the same thought loops — even when you want to change? In this episode, I’m breaking down the real science of neural pathway rewiring, and why motivation isn’t the answer. You'll learn: Why your brain defaults to familiar (not better) pathways A simple, effective way to rewire old patterns What to do in the moment when you catch yourself thinking the old story Why reminders and repetition are the keys to lasting change How long it really takes to shift your brain’s default setting This isn’t about willpower — it’s about...
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Feeling mentally and emotionally drained but convinced you have to keep pushing through? This episode is for you. If you're running on fumes but your instinct is to try harder, work longer, and push more - you might be doing exactly what's keeping you stuck. In this episode, I share the story of a high-achieving client who was beating her head against a brick wall until she learned the power of pressing pause. In this episode, you'll discover: The difference between inevitable pain and optional suffering Why "trying harder" often makes everything worse How one client found the door she'd...
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What if everything you've been told about productivity is backwards? What if the secret to achieving your goals isn't more discipline, but more joy? In this episode, I share the story of my most reluctant client who finally agreed to choose the "fun bucket" - and accidentally became more productive than she'd ever been. You'll discover why white-knuckling your way through goals leads to burnout, and how prioritizing fun creates lasting change instead of temporary fixes. In this episode, you'll learn: Why every client avoided the "fun bucket" (and why you probably would too) The real reason...
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to get daily reminders every day in September. September is my new year. The fresh start is so invigorating and exciting AND leads to one of the most COMMON traps we find ourselves in. This epsiode is for you if you're in any kind of new chapter moment - back to school, empty nesting, relationship changes, or just ready to stop earning your way to what matters most. Key Takeaways Why September feels more like a new year than January (and why that fresh start energy can be tricky) The "old voice" that shows up during new chapters telling us to buckle down and get serious Why we achieve our...
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Sometimes the most profound lessons come from the most unexpected places. When Bob Saget died, the tributes revealed something that completely shifted how I think about legacy—and it's probably going to change how you think about yours too. Here's what I was expecting: Nice tributes. People saying kind things because that's what you do when someone dies. Here's what actually happened: Story after story of exceptional kindness. Not just "he was nice"—he was exceptionally loving. He never ended conversations without saying "I love you" at least once. He was devastatingly demonstrative with...
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Your nervous system thinks calm will actually kill you. I know it sounds backwards, but here's what nobody tells you: when you finally get the calm, regulated life you've been working toward, your system goes into overdrive looking for new chaos to manage. In this episode, I share my client Hannah's story—how she went from drowning in research about her neurodiverse marriage to creating the calm life she wanted, only to have her nervous system immediately start looking for new problems to solve (hello, jewelry business out of nowhere). This is the most predictable part of nervous system...
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is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life. Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list This is Part 2 of my conversation with Susan, one of my Calm AF clients who's been showing up relentlessly to create a life that she LOVES to live. While Part 1 was about intentions and her initial breakthrough with her Future Self, this episode dives into the practical magic that happens when you actually START LIVING these tools. Susan shares her biggest shifts, including: How "Nervous System First"...
info_outlineYou want to stop carrying everyone else's shit...physical, emotional and energetic?? Calm AF Year is coming.
Enrollment opens August 11th. It's a year-long experiment to experience how much lighter and calmer you can feel when when you stop accumulating everyone else's stuff and start protecting your own energy. Get on the interest list here.
Ever feel like you're carrying invisible weight? Like you're soul-tired even when your schedule isn't that crazy? That heaviness you can't explain has a name: energetic clutter.
Welcome to Part 4 of our Internal Clutter series, where we tackle the sneakiest drawer of all - the one filled with everyone else's emotional stuff.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
- Why you feel heavy even when life is good
- How to recognize what's yours vs. what you've absorbed from others
- The sneaky ways energetic clutter builds up in your system
- Why being an "energetic sponge" leaves you feeling depleted
- Simple practices to clear your energetic space
- How environmental energy imprints affect your daily life
- The real impact of digital emotional overload
- Practical ways to protect your energy without becoming cold or disconnected
Key Takeaways:
"You're not just tired because life is hard. You're tired because you're carrying years of accumulated emotional debris that was never yours to begin with."
Most of the energetic clutter weighing you down isn't even yours. Every anxious person you encounter deposits a little anxiety in your system. Every tense conversation leaves residue. Every chaotic environment you walk through leaves some of its chaos behind.
This stuff compounds over time, which is why the heaviness feels more obvious as life goes on. You're not just feeling what you absorbed today - you're carrying the buildup of years of taking on everyone else's emotional stuff.
This Episode is Perfect for You If:
- You feel drained after certain conversations or being around specific people
- You walk into rooms and immediately pick up on the "energy" or tension
- You feel overwhelmed after scrolling social media for just a few minutes
- You're tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix
- You can't figure out why you feel heavy when nothing particularly bad happened
- You suspect you're carrying emotional weight that isn't yours
Previous Episodes in the Internal Clutter Series:
- (325) Part 1: Naming the Problem - Your Internal Junk Drawers Are Overflowing
- (326)Part 2: Mental Clutter - The 47 Open Tabs in Your Brain
- (327) Part 3: Emotional Clutter - The Feelings You've Shoved Down for Years
Get on the Calm AF Year interest list to get details.
Resources:
Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer
The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.
You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.
Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.
"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.