Calm AF
Calm AF is the podcast for high-achievers who are done living life on the verge of burnout. If you’re an overthinker, people pleaser, perfectionist, or energy manager—this space is for you. Hosted by neuroplasticity expert, Kristen Finch, every episode helps you stop spiraling, start regulating, and finally feel like the calm, clear, powerful version of yourself you know is in there. Inside, you’ll learn how to rewire your nervous system, shift old patterns, and lead your life from alignment—not anxiety. So grab your coffee, take a breath, and let today be the day you get Calm AF.
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The Truth About Priorities
10/29/2025
The Truth About Priorities
If I could go back and tell my younger self something, it would be this: Figure out what really matters in life. Figure out what, at the end of your life, made it a life well lived. And then figure out HOW to not forget it. (This episode is a replay from 2023) Here’s the EASIEST way: Change takes consistency. If you’d love a gentle nudge each day to stay on track while you’re creating new patterns, grab my Every morning, get a love letter in your inbox – a daily reminder that you aren’t here to be a perfect human before you can enjoy this amazing, precious life you’ve been gifted. These aren’t another thing for your to-do list. They’re daily permission slips to prioritize what makes everything else easier. Each love letter: Takes less than 2 minutes to read Ensures the FIRST neural pathway you travel each day is one of joy Reminds you that work doesn’t HAVE to be hard Helps you remember that lightening up makes you more productive
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Stop Fixing Yourself: You're Not a Project.
10/15/2025
Stop Fixing Yourself: You're Not a Project.
In today’s episode of Calm AF, we’re diving deep into one of the most harmful modern mindsets: the belief that you have to fix yourself before you can enjoy your life. If you’ve ever felt like you need to check off a to-do list before you’re allowed to relax or be happy — this episode is your reminder to stop fixing yourself to be happy. Inspired by a love letter from my private podcast, this “spiel” explores why you don’t need to earn joy, peace, or worthiness. You’re not a project — you’re a human being living a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And that means you deserve to love your life right now, not after the next goal, hack, or habit tracker. 🧠 What You’ll Learn: Why constant self-improvement can actually keep you stuck The difference between desire-based transformation and shame-driven change How to stop treating your life like a never-ending project The truth about the to-do list that never ends How to actually enjoy your life — while still growing and evolving 💌 Subscribe to Daily Love Letters: Get a mindset reset every morning — no extra effort, no fixing required. ➡️
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Why You're Stuck and How to Change — And Find Peace of Mind
10/09/2025
Why You're Stuck and How to Change — And Find Peace of Mind
Get to rewire your nervous system and mindset patterns. You say you want peace. You say you're ready to stop overthinking, people-pleasing, and spinning out. So why does your brain keep dragging you back into suffering — even when life gives you a moment to breathe? In this episode, we're talking about the ways we argue against our own peace — and how we fight harder to stay stuck than to change. You'll learn why familiar thoughts like: “I’m not good enough.” “Life’s harder for me.” “People always let me down.” …feel so true — and how to stop identifying with them. We'll talk about: Why your brain clings to old suffering stories — even when they hurt How to recognize when you're defending pain instead of choosing peace A nervous system practice to shift out of mental spiraling Tools to build evidence for your peaceful, grounded identity — one thought at a time Because your peace doesn’t begin when life gets easier — it begins when you stop fighting for your suffering. Get delivered to your inbox every day. Because change doesn't happen because you want it to. It happens becuase you choose yourself. Every single day.
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Rewire Your Brain: How to Break Old Thought Patterns and Build New Neural Pathways
10/01/2025
Rewire Your Brain: How to Break Old Thought Patterns and Build New Neural Pathways
Why does your brain keep pulling you back into the same thought loops — even when you want to change? In this episode, I’m breaking down the real science of neural pathway rewiring, and why motivation isn’t the answer. You'll learn: Why your brain defaults to familiar (not better) pathways A simple, effective way to rewire old patterns What to do in the moment when you catch yourself thinking the old story Why reminders and repetition are the keys to lasting change How long it really takes to shift your brain’s default setting This isn’t about willpower — it’s about working with your brain, not against it. Want Daily Reminders While You Rewire?
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The Simplest Way to Start Feeling Better When You're Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted
09/17/2025
The Simplest Way to Start Feeling Better When You're Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted
Feeling mentally and emotionally drained but convinced you have to keep pushing through? This episode is for you. If you're running on fumes but your instinct is to try harder, work longer, and push more - you might be doing exactly what's keeping you stuck. In this episode, I share the story of a high-achieving client who was beating her head against a brick wall until she learned the power of pressing pause. In this episode, you'll discover: The difference between inevitable pain and optional suffering Why "trying harder" often makes everything worse How one client found the door she'd been missing by stopping her run toward the wall Why clarity comes from pause, not force The simple practice that can shift everything this week This isn't about giving up on your goals - it's about getting out of your own way so you can actually reach them. Ready to stop running into brick walls? Get every day in September that remind you there's another way. These aren't another thing for your to-do list - they're one-minute reminders that you don't have to do life the hard way. SHARE THIS EPISODE Know someone who's been pushing too hard? Share this episode with them.
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The Secret to Getting More Done and Being More Productive (It's not what you think)
09/10/2025
The Secret to Getting More Done and Being More Productive (It's not what you think)
What if everything you've been told about productivity is backwards? What if the secret to achieving your goals isn't more discipline, but more joy? In this episode, I share the story of my most reluctant client who finally agreed to choose the "fun bucket" - and accidentally became more productive than she'd ever been. You'll discover why white-knuckling your way through goals leads to burnout, and how prioritizing fun creates lasting change instead of temporary fixes. In this episode, you'll learn: Why every client avoided the "fun bucket" (and why you probably would too) The real reason discipline-based approaches fail long-term How I stopped needing a donut as my only source of joy Why fun and hard work aren't mutually exclusive - they're partners The restrict-binge cycle that happens with joy (and how to find balance) How to rewire your brain to see fun as fuel, not reward This isn't about being less serious about your goals - it's about being more strategic. When you fuel up with joy instead of discipline, everything else becomes easier. Ready to try the fun bucket approach? Get daily love letters all September long that remind you fun is the most efficient fuel you can put in your tank. These aren't another thing for your to-do list - they're daily permission slips to prioritize what makes everything else easier.
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How to Start Fresh in September Without Falling Into the 'Buckle Down' Trap
09/03/2025
How to Start Fresh in September Without Falling Into the 'Buckle Down' Trap
to get daily reminders every day in September. September is my new year. The fresh start is so invigorating and exciting AND leads to one of the most COMMON traps we find ourselves in. This epsiode is for you if you're in any kind of new chapter moment - back to school, empty nesting, relationship changes, or just ready to stop earning your way to what matters most. Key Takeaways Why September feels more like a new year than January (and why that fresh start energy can be tricky) The "old voice" that shows up during new chapters telling us to buckle down and get serious Why we achieve our way away from the thing we wanted to achieve our way to The difference between doubling down on what matters vs. buckling down on discipline How high achievers get trapped in earning their way to their own values What it looks like to be bombarded with reminders of what matters instead of what you're not doing enough of Why prioritizing joy, beauty, and connection isn't unproductive - it's fuel
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Creating Your Legacy (Throwback)
08/20/2025
Creating Your Legacy (Throwback)
Sometimes the most profound lessons come from the most unexpected places. When Bob Saget died, the tributes revealed something that completely shifted how I think about legacy—and it's probably going to change how you think about yours too. Here's what I was expecting: Nice tributes. People saying kind things because that's what you do when someone dies. Here's what actually happened: Story after story of exceptional kindness. Not just "he was nice"—he was exceptionally loving. He never ended conversations without saying "I love you" at least once. He was devastatingly demonstrative with his affection. I want people to say the same things about me. What legacy do YOU want to leave behind? Ready for more?? The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. Private 1:1 Coaching “I don’t want to figure it out, I don’t want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you.” If that’s you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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Why Your Nervous System Thinks Calm Will Kill You
08/06/2025
Why Your Nervous System Thinks Calm Will Kill You
Your nervous system thinks calm will actually kill you. I know it sounds backwards, but here's what nobody tells you: when you finally get the calm, regulated life you've been working toward, your system goes into overdrive looking for new chaos to manage. In this episode, I share my client Hannah's story—how she went from drowning in research about her neurodiverse marriage to creating the calm life she wanted, only to have her nervous system immediately start looking for new problems to solve (hello, jewelry business out of nowhere). This is the most predictable part of nervous system rewiring, and exactly why I told Hannah to give me a full year. Not because she needed more tools or information—she needed time to retrain a system that had learned chaos equals survival. What You'll Learn Why your nervous system equates hypervigilance with safety The pattern interrupt that changed everything for Hannah Why "giving it a year" isn't about learning more—it's about unlearning chaos addiction How to recognize when you're replacing old chaos with new chaos The deeper truth about what real transformation actually looks like How To Change This is exactly what we're doing in Calm AF Year: 52 weeks of retraining your nervous system to trust calm, creating an identity where it's safe to be successful without suffering, surrounded by people learning the same thing. Enrollment opens August 11th. Details coming soon. Ready for more?? The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. Private 1:1 Coaching “I don’t want to figure it out, I don’t want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you.” If that’s you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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What if this is easy? (And other phrases Susan used to change her life)
07/30/2025
What if this is easy? (And other phrases Susan used to change her life)
is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life. Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list This is Part 2 of my conversation with Susan, one of my Calm AF clients who's been showing up relentlessly to create a life that she LOVES to live. While Part 1 was about intentions and her initial breakthrough with her Future Self, this episode dives into the practical magic that happens when you actually START LIVING these tools. Susan shares her biggest shifts, including: How "Nervous System First" became her internal mantra Understanding the Calm AF scale and why hyper/hypo vigilance isn't a personality flaw The rubber band theory that will change how you think about setbacks forever Why feelings only last 90 seconds (but the stories can last a lifetime) The purple car theory in action - and how it completely transformed her 30-year marriage This isn't theoretical bullshit. This is what it actually looks like when someone stops making everything so complicated and starts trusting the process. Resources: The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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How Susan Transformed Her Life by Trying Less
07/23/2025
How Susan Transformed Her Life by Trying Less
is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life. Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list Episode 329 Back in 2021/2022, Susan was doing what lots of you are doing right now. Listening to this podcast, nodding along, feeling seen, knowing that something about this Kristen lady felt SO right.... but still white-knuckling her way through life. Still managing everyone's feelings. Still exhausted from being the person everyone depends on. Then she made one decision that changed everything. She heard about a calm AF coaching program I was offering and decided to stop nodding along and take action. She reached out, invested in her future self WITH a very important promise to her (future) self: "This is the last thing I'm going to try. This is going to work." Four years later? Same house, same husband, same kids - but a radically different human. And she did NOT transform every single area of her life by working harder. She did it by doing the opposite. In this episode, Susan shares the very first step she took to stop performing her life and start actually living it. If you're tired of being anxious, tired of overthinking everything, tired of barely holding it together while managing everyone else's chaos - this conversation is for you. Get on the Calm AF Year to get details. Resources: The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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Energetic Clutter: Why You Feel Soul Tired
07/16/2025
Energetic Clutter: Why You Feel Soul Tired
You want to stop carrying everyone else's shit...physical, emotional and energetic?? is coming. Enrollment opens August 11th. It's a year-long experiment to experience how much lighter and calmer you can feel when when you stop accumulating everyone else's stuff and start protecting your own energy. Get on the interest list Ever feel like you're carrying invisible weight? Like you're soul-tired even when your schedule isn't that crazy? That heaviness you can't explain has a name: energetic clutter. Welcome to Part 4 of our Internal Clutter series, where we tackle the sneakiest drawer of all - the one filled with everyone else's emotional stuff. What You'll Learn in This Episode: Why you feel heavy even when life is good How to recognize what's yours vs. what you've absorbed from others The sneaky ways energetic clutter builds up in your system Why being an "energetic sponge" leaves you feeling depleted Simple practices to clear your energetic space How environmental energy imprints affect your daily life The real impact of digital emotional overload Practical ways to protect your energy without becoming cold or disconnected Key Takeaways: "You're not just tired because life is hard. You're tired because you're carrying years of accumulated emotional debris that was never yours to begin with." Most of the energetic clutter weighing you down isn't even yours. Every anxious person you encounter deposits a little anxiety in your system. Every tense conversation leaves residue. Every chaotic environment you walk through leaves some of its chaos behind. This stuff compounds over time, which is why the heaviness feels more obvious as life goes on. You're not just feeling what you absorbed today - you're carrying the buildup of years of taking on everyone else's emotional stuff. This Episode is Perfect for You If: You feel drained after certain conversations or being around specific people You walk into rooms and immediately pick up on the "energy" or tension You feel overwhelmed after scrolling social media for just a few minutes You're tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix You can't figure out why you feel heavy when nothing particularly bad happened You suspect you're carrying emotional weight that isn't yours Previous Episodes in the Internal Clutter Series: (325) Part 1: Naming the Problem - Your Internal Junk Drawers Are Overflowing (326)Part 2: Mental Clutter - The 47 Open Tabs in Your Brain (327) Part 3: Emotional Clutter - The Feelings You've Shoved Down for Years Get on the Calm AF Year to get details. Resources: The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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How to Clear Your Emotional Junk Drawer + Stop Stuffing Down Feelings
07/09/2025
How to Clear Your Emotional Junk Drawer + Stop Stuffing Down Feelings
Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist Ever feel like emotions hit you out of nowhere? You're driving to work and suddenly sobbing, or you feel rage after someone does something slightly annoying? Friend...your emotional junk drawer is overflowing. In this episode, I'm diving deep into the invisible emotional clutter we've been shoving down our entire lives and why it's stealing your energy, blocking your joy, and keeping you from living fully. What You'll Learn: The signs your emotional junk drawer is full and overflowing Why we were taught to stuff emotions down (and why it's not your fault) What's actually cluttering up your emotional space right now The cost of carrying decades of unprocessed feelings My simple "feelings room" technique for emotional decluttering How to stop adding new emotional clutter to your system Resources: The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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Mental Overwhelm for High Achievers: Why You Feel Foggy and How to Clear the Clutter"
07/02/2025
Mental Overwhelm for High Achievers: Why You Feel Foggy and How to Clear the Clutter"
If you're so smart, WHY does your brain feel like a junk drawer that's been stuffed so full you can barely get it open? In this episode, we're talking about what's actually cluttering up your mental junk drawer and why the same brain that got you where you are might be what's trapping you there. We're talking about: The 4 types of mental clutter that high performers collect (and why you can't think your way out of it) Why more thinking leads to more uncertainty, not more clarity The simple 4-step process to start cleaning out your mental junk drawer today How to stop drowning in your own competence This isn't about productivity hacks or morning routines. This is about clearing the noise so you can hear yourself think again. Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist Resources: The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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Your Internal Clutter- How Your Junk Drawers Got So Full and How to Declutter
06/25/2025
Your Internal Clutter- How Your Junk Drawers Got So Full and How to Declutter
Feeling overwhelmed by racing thoughts, emotional overload, and constantly absorbing everyone else's energy? You're not broken - you just have some internal junk drawers that are overflowing. In this episode, we explore the three invisible junk drawers in your mind: mental, emotional, and energetic clutter that's been accumulating for years. You'll also learn why trying to fix the problem from the outside fails and the daily maintenance approach that actually works for lasting calm. Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist Resources: The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated. You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. "I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.
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Little Fires Everywhere: Why High Achievers Are Always Burned Out (And How To Stop)
06/18/2025
Little Fires Everywhere: Why High Achievers Are Always Burned Out (And How To Stop)
You’re the one everyone turns to when things go sideways. You stay calm when the stakes are high. You SHINE under pressure. So why are you so burned out? In this episode of Calm AF, I’m breaking down the real reason high achievers feel like they’re constantly putting out fires—and why your nervous system can’t seem to turn off, even when there’s nothing actually burning. We’re talking about: Why hypervigilance isn’t the secret to your success What firefighters can teach you about calm under pressure How your nervous system turns minor stress into five-alarm panic The identity trap of being “the one who holds it all together” Why regulating BEFORE the pressure hits is the actual flex If you're tired of living like every moment is an emergency, this episode will feel like a permission slip and a wake-up call. Links & Resources: 90 days of guided transformation—from hyper achiever to Calm AF high performer. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get direct access to me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. Secret Podcast: A free audio series to help you make the transition from an overwhelmed overachiever to a regulated, calm AF high performer. Come say hi on Instagram: Subscribe + leave a review if this episode landed with you
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A Commencement Speech for Grownups:
06/11/2025
A Commencement Speech for Grownups:
Today's episode is a little different than what you're used to hearing. Today I wrote US a commencment speech. Inspired by my son’s high school graduation, I started thinking about all the ways adults are graduating: out of relationships, into relationships, out of old roles, into new chapters, out of versions of ourselves that no longer fit. But we rarely pause to celebrate those transitions. In fact, we usually shame ourselves for them. Not today. This speech is for the 38-, 48-, 58-year-old who’s starting over. Starting again. Moving into a new chapter. It’s a love letter to your resilience, your wisdom, and your still-unfolding story. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why every ending is actually a graduation What midlife commencement really looks like (hint: pet hair + coffee stains included) The truth about possibility, purpose, and starting over A powerful reminder that you’re right on time, exactly as you are Whether you’re navigating a breakup, a career pivot, an empty nest, or just a quiet inner shift—you’re not behind. You’re on the brink. The world is still yours. Links & Resources: 90 days of guided transformation—from hyper achiever to Calm AF high performer. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get direct access to me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. Secret Podcast: A free audio series to help you make the transition from an overwhelmed overachiever to a regulated, calm AF high performer. Come say hi on Instagram: Subscribe + leave a review if this episode landed with you
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7 Strategies to Get the Best Out of Yourself and Everyone Around You
05/28/2025
7 Strategies to Get the Best Out of Yourself and Everyone Around You
In this episode, we’re talking about how to be the kind of leader, partner, parent, and friend that inspires the very best in others—and yourself. You already know how to push, nudge, and motivate yourself. But is the way you are leading yoruself the same way you are showing up for others? And if not, why not? I'm sharing the 7 ways you motivate yourself to be your best and how to start applying these same strategies to others: 1. Keeping people down when they’re struggling 2. Shaming instead of compassion 3. Withholding love until they’re “worthy” 4. Keeping score of their failures 5. Comparing them to everyone else 6. Disappearing when they need support 7. Only celebrating perfection And if you’re curious about how to start upgrading your old, tired strategies to ones that might actually work (without the burnout)—I’ve got resources for you. Resources Mentioned: Private Podcast: From Hyperachiever to High Performer [YOUR_UPGRADE_LINK_HERE]
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A Client Story: This is What Real Nervous System Regulation Sounds Like
05/23/2025
A Client Story: This is What Real Nervous System Regulation Sounds Like
How many times have you tried to set a boundary but then backed down. Today’s bonus episode features a powerful Voxer message from one of my Upgrade clients—brought to life with a little AI magic (to keep my private clients private). What you’ll hear is what this work ACTUALLY sounds like. What is possible when you don't just know how to regulate in structured moments, but in real life. No spiraling. No shutdown. Just clarity, boundaries, and calm. This is exactly what we practice inside —and from May 23rd until May 26th, you get the full program. —doors close Monday, May 26: Inside the Upgrade, you’ll learn how to: Speak without overexplaining Say no without apologizing Lead without control Rest without shutting down Stay regulated—not just in moments, but as your default You get: 12 weeks private coaching via Voxer Weekly private podcast episodes Access to the Regulated course Daily bite-sized reminders in your inbox This is for you if you're tired of working so hard to calm down –– because it obviously doesn't work like that.
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How High Achievers Can Avoid Summer Burnout: Mastering Nervous System Regulation
05/20/2025
How High Achievers Can Avoid Summer Burnout: Mastering Nervous System Regulation
Summer is supposed to feel freeing—but for hyper achievers, it often feels anything but. In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on why summer is actually the most dysregulating season of the year for high performers, energy managers, and people pleasers. If you’ve ever felt guilty for not enjoying your “time off,” or found yourself craving September more than sunshine, this one’s for you. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the lack of routine in summer can trigger nervous system chaos How the Calm AF Scale helps you avoid swinging between hypervigilance and total shutdown What a regulated, grounded summer can look like—and how to create it Important Dates Enrollment for The Calm AF Summer Upgrade: May 23–26 Program Start Date: June 1 Resources: → The Private Podcast Series: → Coaching Program →
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How To "Let Them" (Without Your Head Exploding): Boundaries, Regulation, And Emotional Resilience
05/07/2025
How To "Let Them" (Without Your Head Exploding): Boundaries, Regulation, And Emotional Resilience
We love the idea of “Let Them.” Let them judge you. Let them walk away. Let them misunderstand you. But when you're actually in it—when someone ghosts you, talks behind your back, or oversteps your boundary—it doesn’t feel empowering. It feels like rejection. Or worse, like you're white knuckling "let themmmmmm" so hard, you think your head might explode. In this episode, I break down what “Let Them” really means (spoiler: it’s not about not caring), how nervous system regulation helps you stop reacting, and why emotional freedom starts with staying anchored in your body—even when you’re angry, hurt, or annoyed. What you'll learn: – Why “Let Them” is more than just a mindset – How to stay regulated when you feel rejected or misunderstood – Why boundaries collapse when you're dysregulated – What it actually looks like to be mad and grounded – How to let people go without losing yourself Mentioned in this episode: → The Private Podcast Series: → Coaching Program →
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You're Not Fine. You're Functioning.
04/23/2025
You're Not Fine. You're Functioning.
You’re not fine. You’re functioning. And if that hit a little too close to home, this episode is for you. You’re showing up, getting things done, holding it all together— But inside, your nervous system is screaming. This episode is the mirror you didn’t know you needed. 🎧 Want to stop just functioning and start actually feeling like yourself again? Start In this episode, we talk about: The invisible cost of high-functioning women pretending they’re fine Why “I’m fine” is a nervous system default, not the truth How overthinking, overgiving, and overfunctioning are all survival strategies The real reason your boundaries don’t stick What to do when “fine” is no longer good enough You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re just practiced at surviving. Ready to stop managing life and start leading it? Listen to the private podcast: 💥 And if you already know you’re ready for the next level… is your next step. Apply through the private podcast or DM me “UPGRADE” on Instagram:
/episode/index/show/showupandlove/id/36250410
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Breaking Free from the Guilt Trap: From Energy Manager to High Performer
04/16/2025
Breaking Free from the Guilt Trap: From Energy Manager to High Performer
You say “I feel guilty.” But is that really what’s happening? In this episode, I’m calling out the biggest lie high performers tell themselves—and what’s actually keeping you stuck in overgiving, overfunctioning, and overthinking. You’ll learn: The real emotion behind “guilt” Why you feel bad setting boundaries (even when you know better) The 3-part script to break the guilt cycle for good This episode isn’t a self-help pep talk. It’s a pattern interrupt. Resources: : This series unpacks what most people never tell high performers: your next level isn’t about doing more—it’s about feeling safer doing less. It’s about trusting yourself deeply, leading without force, and accessing your full power without burning out. $9/month or $99/year—and wake up every morning to a reminder that rewires your brain. A self paced course that walks you through getting to know your nervous system reactions and helps you create a plan to overcome old patterns and spend more time feeling peaceful and happy. If you don’t want to DIY it with a course, but you aren’t quite ready for the level of private coaching, the Upgrade is for you. A 12 week guided course delivered via email and private podcast, designed to expand your nervous system’s capacity to stay regulated PLUS 12 weeks of personalized text and voice coaching (via Voxer). If you want me right next to you, accessible and available when you need coaching as you achieve your goals and create the life you love with EASE, private coaching is what you’re looking for. This is high touch, bespoke, quick, and by application only.
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Shifting Identities — From Hyper Achiever to High Performer
04/09/2025
Shifting Identities — From Hyper Achiever to High Performer
You don’t need more hustle—you need a new identity. In this final part of the 3-part series, Kristen breaks down the two biggest shifts that unlock high performance: making calm your home base (not your vacation) and finally letting go of the belief that doing it all alone makes you stronger. You don’t have to be operating at an elite level to think like a high performer—but you’ll never become one thinking like a hyperachiever. Resources: : This series unpacks what most people never tell high performers: your next level isn’t about doing more—it’s about feeling safer doing less. It’s about trusting yourself deeply, leading without force, and accessing your full power without burning out. $9/month or $99/year—and wake up every morning to a reminder that rewires your brain. If you don’t want to DIY it with a course, but you aren’t quite ready for the level of private coaching, the Upgrade is for you. A 12 week guided course delivered via email and private podcast, designed to expand your nervous system’s capacity to stay regulated PLUS 12 weeks of personalized text and voice coaching (via Voxer). If you want me right next to you, accessible and available when you need coaching as you achieve your goals and create the life you love with EASE, private coaching is what you’re looking for. This is high touch, bespoke, quick, and by application only.
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What Hyper-Achievers Do that High Performers Don't
04/02/2025
What Hyper-Achievers Do that High Performers Don't
If you’re always overthinking, overdoing, and over-managing everything in your life, this episode will help you see where those habits are coming from—and what’s possible when you start leading from regulation instead of urgency. Inside this episode: Why being busy isn’t a badge of honor—it's a red flag How high performers simplify instead of overcomplicate The difference between leading through pressure vs. encouragement Why overthinking keeps you stuck (and what to do instead) Why doing everything alone isn’t helping you move faster ✨ Ready to go deeper? Subscribe to the free private podcast: Resources: : Learn to how to get and stay calm af. $9/month or $99/year — wake up every morning to a powerful, bite-sized reminder that blends neuroplasticity with just the right amount of dopamine to rewire your brain, shift your mindset, and keep you aligned with who you're becoming. A self paced course that walks you through getting to know your nervous system reactions and helps you create a plan to overcome old patterns and spend more time feeling peaceful and happy. If you don’t want to DIY it with a course, but you aren’t quite ready for the level of private coaching, the Upgrade is for you. On-demand, personalized coaching via Voxer access during office hours. If you want me right next to you, accessible and available when you need coaching as you achieve your goals and create the life you love with EASE, private coaching is what you’re looking for. This is high touch, bespoke, quick, and by application only.
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The Daily Habits of High Performers
03/19/2025
The Daily Habits of High Performers
Ever wonder why high performers seem to have effortless discipline while you struggle to stick to your habits? It’s not magic—it’s simplicity, consistency, and a commitment to the boring. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down the key differences between hypervigilant high achievers (who run on stress and urgency) and Calm AF high performers (who operate from clarity and intention). You’ll learn: Why you’re overcomplicating your routines and making success harder than it needs to be. Why high performers don’t chase instant gratification—they trust the process. Why expecting your routine to entertain you is keeping you stuck. The simple, sustainable habits that make high performers successful (without the chaos). If you’re ready to stop overthinking, start moving, and finally make your success sustainable, this episode is for you. Resources: $9/month or $99/year—and wake up every morning to a reminder that rewires your brain. A self paced course that walks you through getting to know your nervous system reactions and helps you create a plan to overcome old patterns and spend more time feeling peaceful and happy. If you don’t want to DIY it with a course, but you aren’t quite ready for the level of private coaching, the Upgrade is for you. On-demand, personalized coaching via Voxer access during office hours. If you want me right next to you, accessible and available when you need coaching as you achieve your goals and create the life you love with EASE, private coaching is what you’re looking for. This is high touch, bespoke, quick, and by application only.
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Why Trying To Control Everything is Keeping You Stuck—And What to Do Instead
03/05/2025
Why Trying To Control Everything is Keeping You Stuck—And What to Do Instead
If you’re the one who shifts the energy in a room, who anticipates what people need before they even realize it, who prides yourself on preventing problems before they happen—this episode is for you. You believe you’re controlling things because you have proof—meetings where you turned a "no" into a "yes," situations you steered to avoid disaster, people you influenced into changing their minds. But here’s the truth: Control was never actually yours. In this episode, we break down: How gripping tighter actually makes things worse Why you’re exhausting yourself for an illusion Why you believe you control the world, but not your own thoughts What surrender really means—and why it’s not "giving up," it’s actually the path to true power Resources: Start your day with a powerful, perspective-shifting message—before the world pulls you back into the grind. These love letters will shift your whole day and they’re $9/month. Join here. A self paced course that walks you through getting to know your nervous system reactions and helps you create a plan to overcome old patterns and spend more time feeling peaceful and happy. If you don’t want to DIY it with a course, but you aren’t quite ready for the level of private coaching, the Upgrade is for you. On-demand, personalized coaching via Voxer access during office hours. If you want me right next to you, accessible and available when you need coaching as you achieve your goals and create the life you love with EASE, private coaching is what you’re looking for. This is high touch, bespoke, quick, and by application only.
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Struggling to Reach The Next Level? Why You’re Operating at 70% and How to Fix It
02/26/2025
Struggling to Reach The Next Level? Why You’re Operating at 70% and How to Fix It
You think you’re giving 100%—pushing yourself, outworking, and outperforming. But what if you’re actually only operating at 70% and don’t even realize it? In this episode, I break down why elite performers feel maxed out, even when they have more to give. It’s not about working harder—it’s about stopping the energy leaks that are burning you out. You’ll learn: The #1 reason high achievers feel stuck and exhausted How wasted energy—mental tension, overthinking, and nervous system overload—keeps you from peak performance Why the top performers in the world don’t push harder—they regulate better Practical strategies to calibrate your nervous system and unlock your full capacity If you’re ready to stop running on nervous system overload and start performing at your true potential—without burning out—this episode is for you. Resources: Start your day with a powerful, perspective-shifting message—before the world pulls you back into the grind. These love letters will shift your whole day and they’re $9/month. Join here. A self paced course that walks you through getting to know your nervous system reactions and helps you create a plan to overcome old patterns and spend more time feeling peaceful and happy. If you don’t want to DIY it with a course, but you aren’t quite ready for the level of private coaching, the Upgrade is for you. On-demand, personalized coaching via Voxer access during office hours. If you want me right next to you, accessible and available when you need coaching as you achieve your goals and create the life you love with EASE, private coaching is what you’re looking for. This is high touch, bespoke, quick, and by application only. If you want a calmer, more joyful life, you don’t need a complete overhaul—just small, consistent shifts. That’s exactly what the Love Letters offer: a simple daily practice that transforms from the inside out—for just $9 a month.
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Why It’s Hard to Enjoy Your Life—Even When You Think You Should
02/19/2025
Why It’s Hard to Enjoy Your Life—Even When You Think You Should
Welcome back to Calm AF. In today’s episode, we’re diving into a moment that every high achiever eventually faces: I did it. I achieved the thing. I checked all the boxes. So why don’t I feel how I thought I would? If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Inside This Episode: Why hustling feels so good (and why it stops working) The moment every high achiever faces—and how to move through it The difference between achieving for validation vs. achieving from enoughness Why the world doesn’t want you to stop hustling (and how to break free) How to redefine success on your terms Resources & Links: 💙 Start your day with a powerful, perspective-shifting message—before the world pulls you back into the grind. These love letters will shift your whole day and they’re $9/month. Join here. 💙 A self paced course that walks you through getting to know your nervous system reactions and helps you create a plan to overcome old patterns and spend more time feeling peaceful and happy. 💙 If you don’t want to DIY it with a course, but you aren’t quite ready for the level of private coaching, the Upgrade is for you. On-demand, personalized coaching via Voxer access during office hours. 💙 If you want me right next to you, accessible and available when you need coaching (not a week later) as you achieve your goals and create the life you love with EASE, private coaching is what you’re looking for. This is high touch, bespoke and we move quickly.
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Why Discomfort Is a Green Light
02/12/2025
Why Discomfort Is a Green Light
You want the next-level version of yourself? You have to think like her, act like her, show up as her. But here’s the catch—growth isn’t comfortable. It’s not supposed to be. A couple weeks ago, I spent four days deep in upleveling and shifting mindsets with my bestie, Amanda and over and over, the theme that kept coming up wasn’t the strategy or logistics—it was discomfort. The discomfort of stepping into a bigger vision. The discomfort of letting go of what won’t come with you. The discomfort of doing the things that feel risky, scary, and unknown. Today, we’re talking about why discomfort is actually a green light in your transformation, how to tell the difference between fear of expansion and a genuine red flag, and how to rewire your mindset so you don’t let discomfort keep you stuck. You’re listening to this because you know there’s another level waiting for you. But if discomfort keeps stopping you, it’s time to learn how to move through it instead of avoiding it. Here’s how we can work together to build that skill: – If discomfort keeps knocking you off track, Regulated is a self paced course where you learn how to manage your nervous system so you can take action without spiraling. – Need a strategic, high-impact coaching session to get you unstuck now? This is a one-time, focused session to recalibrate your mindset and get you moving immediately. – This is for high-performers who are ready to move—fast. If you don’t need hand-holding but want targeted, in-the-moment coaching to stay in momentum, this is where we do it. Apply You don’t need to wait to feel ready. You need to build the skill of moving forward anyway. Pick the path that fits where you are, and let’s go.
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