What if this is easy? (And other phrases Susan used to change her life)
Release Date: 07/30/2025
Calm AF
If I could go back and tell my younger self something, it would be this: Figure out what really matters in life. Figure out what, at the end of your life, made it a life well lived. And then figure out HOW to not forget it. (This episode is a replay from 2023) Here’s the EASIEST way: Change takes consistency. If you’d love a gentle nudge each day to stay on track while you’re creating new patterns, grab my Every morning, get a love letter in your inbox – a daily reminder that you aren’t here to be a perfect human before you can enjoy this amazing, precious life you’ve been...
info_outlineCalm AF
In today’s episode of Calm AF, we’re diving deep into one of the most harmful modern mindsets: the belief that you have to fix yourself before you can enjoy your life. If you’ve ever felt like you need to check off a to-do list before you’re allowed to relax or be happy — this episode is your reminder to stop fixing yourself to be happy. Inspired by a love letter from my private podcast, this “spiel” explores why you don’t need to earn joy, peace, or worthiness. You’re not a project — you’re a human being living a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And that means you...
info_outlineCalm AF
Get to rewire your nervous system and mindset patterns. You say you want peace. You say you're ready to stop overthinking, people-pleasing, and spinning out. So why does your brain keep dragging you back into suffering — even when life gives you a moment to breathe? In this episode, we're talking about the ways we argue against our own peace — and how we fight harder to stay stuck than to change. You'll learn why familiar thoughts like: “I’m not good enough.” “Life’s harder for me.” “People always let me down.” …feel so true — and how to stop identifying with...
info_outlineCalm AF
Why does your brain keep pulling you back into the same thought loops — even when you want to change? In this episode, I’m breaking down the real science of neural pathway rewiring, and why motivation isn’t the answer. You'll learn: Why your brain defaults to familiar (not better) pathways A simple, effective way to rewire old patterns What to do in the moment when you catch yourself thinking the old story Why reminders and repetition are the keys to lasting change How long it really takes to shift your brain’s default setting This isn’t about willpower — it’s about...
info_outlineCalm AF
Feeling mentally and emotionally drained but convinced you have to keep pushing through? This episode is for you. If you're running on fumes but your instinct is to try harder, work longer, and push more - you might be doing exactly what's keeping you stuck. In this episode, I share the story of a high-achieving client who was beating her head against a brick wall until she learned the power of pressing pause. In this episode, you'll discover: The difference between inevitable pain and optional suffering Why "trying harder" often makes everything worse How one client found the door she'd...
info_outlineCalm AF
What if everything you've been told about productivity is backwards? What if the secret to achieving your goals isn't more discipline, but more joy? In this episode, I share the story of my most reluctant client who finally agreed to choose the "fun bucket" - and accidentally became more productive than she'd ever been. You'll discover why white-knuckling your way through goals leads to burnout, and how prioritizing fun creates lasting change instead of temporary fixes. In this episode, you'll learn: Why every client avoided the "fun bucket" (and why you probably would too) The real reason...
info_outlineCalm AF
to get daily reminders every day in September. September is my new year. The fresh start is so invigorating and exciting AND leads to one of the most COMMON traps we find ourselves in. This epsiode is for you if you're in any kind of new chapter moment - back to school, empty nesting, relationship changes, or just ready to stop earning your way to what matters most. Key Takeaways Why September feels more like a new year than January (and why that fresh start energy can be tricky) The "old voice" that shows up during new chapters telling us to buckle down and get serious Why we achieve our...
info_outlineCalm AF
Sometimes the most profound lessons come from the most unexpected places. When Bob Saget died, the tributes revealed something that completely shifted how I think about legacy—and it's probably going to change how you think about yours too. Here's what I was expecting: Nice tributes. People saying kind things because that's what you do when someone dies. Here's what actually happened: Story after story of exceptional kindness. Not just "he was nice"—he was exceptionally loving. He never ended conversations without saying "I love you" at least once. He was devastatingly demonstrative with...
info_outlineCalm AF
Your nervous system thinks calm will actually kill you. I know it sounds backwards, but here's what nobody tells you: when you finally get the calm, regulated life you've been working toward, your system goes into overdrive looking for new chaos to manage. In this episode, I share my client Hannah's story—how she went from drowning in research about her neurodiverse marriage to creating the calm life she wanted, only to have her nervous system immediately start looking for new problems to solve (hello, jewelry business out of nowhere). This is the most predictable part of nervous system...
info_outlineCalm AF
is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life. Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list This is Part 2 of my conversation with Susan, one of my Calm AF clients who's been showing up relentlessly to create a life that she LOVES to live. While Part 1 was about intentions and her initial breakthrough with her Future Self, this episode dives into the practical magic that happens when you actually START LIVING these tools. Susan shares her biggest shifts, including: How "Nervous System First"...
info_outlineCalm AF Year is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life.
Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list here.
This is Part 2 of my conversation with Susan, one of my Calm AF clients who's been showing up relentlessly to create a life that she LOVES to live. While Part 1 was about intentions and her initial breakthrough with her Future Self, this episode dives into the practical magic that happens when you actually START LIVING these tools.
Susan shares her biggest shifts, including:
- How "Nervous System First" became her internal mantra
- Understanding the Calm AF scale and why hyper/hypo vigilance isn't a personality flaw
- The rubber band theory that will change how you think about setbacks forever
- Why feelings only last 90 seconds (but the stories can last a lifetime)
- The purple car theory in action - and how it completely transformed her 30-year marriage
This isn't theoretical bullshit. This is what it actually looks like when someone stops making everything so complicated and starts trusting the process.
Resources:
Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer
The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.
You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.
Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.
"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.